this week is not recommending itself
My brain is an oozing pile of nope right now, which is to be expected, given novel finishing, but I still resent it. Though, I did realize that 
genprompt_bingo has no actual deadline, so I'm giving in and allowing myself two weeks off from writing. (If I want to, I won't stop myself, but there will be no mental scolding or staring at blank screens making myself type.) I am experimenting with this whole idea where accomplishing a task leads to rewards, not punishing myself by demanding a higher level of performance as a result. I mean, I'm suspicious of it, not gonna lie, but maybe there's something to this idea.
Speaking of rewards, last night we went out to dinner by way of me dropping by my friendly neighborhood GameStop, since I had a pile of things I wanted to pre-order (ah, backlog progress, I loved you while I had you.) On the list: Final Fantasy XII The Zodiac Age, Kingdom Hearts 2.8, Persona 5, and Shin Megami Tensei 4 Apocalypse for me, plus the new Deus Ex and Dishonored 2 for the paladin. I thought about World of Final Fantasy but I don't know enough about it yet and I'm not sure how much I want it, so I'm holding off on that. Suddenly, there are a half-dozen things for me to play on PS4, who knew? So exciting.
I've been re-reading Kushiel's Dart, which is
seventhe's fault entirely for Reasons because she Helps Like A Kitty, and--man. There are some critiques I can make about this series, I'm not denying it, but God I love the richness of the language and the cadence of the writing and the way the world comes together. And because I'm reading it slowly, and attentively, rather than gulping it down like cool water on a hot day, I'm noticing things I never picked up on before, and they delight me (at the same time as they make me despair because I aspire to be as good at some of this as Carey is and I'm not there yet and augh.) I picked it up Monday night when two different video games failed to hold my attention, and then suddenly an hour and a half had passed and I hadn't noticed.
I am trying not to have a complete and utter meltdown that anyone to whom I have given the novel is going to unfriend me and pretend they never met me because it's that bad, which on the one hand I recognize is anxiety but on the other hand last night I literally asked paladin if he was going to dump me over it because fuck you brain seriously, and he looked at me with that expression one reserves for "things which have no relationship to reality." I mean, I am basically never to be trusted when it comes to my own opinion about things I did, but I am taking it to a whole new level right now and it's pretty impressive.
Tonight we are in receipt of a kitten for a weekend of kitten-sitting, and I'm hoping it goes well, because kitten wants to have friends and I think Ganon would benefit from a friend with whom he can play, so I'm crossing my fingers that they get along. So far Zelda is growling, and Ganon and visiting-kitten are cautious and waving paws but not hissing, so.
In other news I have realized that perhaps the reason my brain is very aggressively full of scorpions and bees right now is that the last time I took a day off for a reason unrelated to "my skull is cracking and crumbling and molten lava is sloshing inside it" was when
seventhe was here in January, and my weekends have been quite busy as is fairly typical for me, including a whole bunch of LARP weekends in a straight row. Now I am trying to convince myself it is OK to use one of my nine hoarded vacation days on something for me instead of squirreling it all away. Results so far inconclusive.
--
AND THEN I WENT UPSTAIRS TO USE MY IMAC TO POST THIS AND IT'S FUCKING DEAD. (I had composed this entry in email.) Won't turn on, no noise when I hit the power button, confirmed other things in the outlet are fine and moved the plug to a different plug in the surge protector. nope.
*insert string of creative and vehement profanity here*
Ugh. ugh. I can handle this - please God it's just a power cord thing and will only cost a couple hundred dollars, but worst case, I *can* afford to replace it, I just don't *want* to.
sulking angry kitty.
I've posted this at http://lassarina.dreamwidth.org/1149816.html and you may comment there or here. On Dreamwidth, this entry has
comments.
genprompt_bingo has no actual deadline, so I'm giving in and allowing myself two weeks off from writing. (If I want to, I won't stop myself, but there will be no mental scolding or staring at blank screens making myself type.) I am experimenting with this whole idea where accomplishing a task leads to rewards, not punishing myself by demanding a higher level of performance as a result. I mean, I'm suspicious of it, not gonna lie, but maybe there's something to this idea.
Speaking of rewards, last night we went out to dinner by way of me dropping by my friendly neighborhood GameStop, since I had a pile of things I wanted to pre-order (ah, backlog progress, I loved you while I had you.) On the list: Final Fantasy XII The Zodiac Age, Kingdom Hearts 2.8, Persona 5, and Shin Megami Tensei 4 Apocalypse for me, plus the new Deus Ex and Dishonored 2 for the paladin. I thought about World of Final Fantasy but I don't know enough about it yet and I'm not sure how much I want it, so I'm holding off on that. Suddenly, there are a half-dozen things for me to play on PS4, who knew? So exciting.
I've been re-reading Kushiel's Dart, which is
seventhe's fault entirely for Reasons because she Helps Like A Kitty, and--man. There are some critiques I can make about this series, I'm not denying it, but God I love the richness of the language and the cadence of the writing and the way the world comes together. And because I'm reading it slowly, and attentively, rather than gulping it down like cool water on a hot day, I'm noticing things I never picked up on before, and they delight me (at the same time as they make me despair because I aspire to be as good at some of this as Carey is and I'm not there yet and augh.) I picked it up Monday night when two different video games failed to hold my attention, and then suddenly an hour and a half had passed and I hadn't noticed.
I am trying not to have a complete and utter meltdown that anyone to whom I have given the novel is going to unfriend me and pretend they never met me because it's that bad, which on the one hand I recognize is anxiety but on the other hand last night I literally asked paladin if he was going to dump me over it because fuck you brain seriously, and he looked at me with that expression one reserves for "things which have no relationship to reality." I mean, I am basically never to be trusted when it comes to my own opinion about things I did, but I am taking it to a whole new level right now and it's pretty impressive.
Tonight we are in receipt of a kitten for a weekend of kitten-sitting, and I'm hoping it goes well, because kitten wants to have friends and I think Ganon would benefit from a friend with whom he can play, so I'm crossing my fingers that they get along. So far Zelda is growling, and Ganon and visiting-kitten are cautious and waving paws but not hissing, so.
In other news I have realized that perhaps the reason my brain is very aggressively full of scorpions and bees right now is that the last time I took a day off for a reason unrelated to "my skull is cracking and crumbling and molten lava is sloshing inside it" was when
seventhe was here in January, and my weekends have been quite busy as is fairly typical for me, including a whole bunch of LARP weekends in a straight row. Now I am trying to convince myself it is OK to use one of my nine hoarded vacation days on something for me instead of squirreling it all away. Results so far inconclusive.
--
AND THEN I WENT UPSTAIRS TO USE MY IMAC TO POST THIS AND IT'S FUCKING DEAD. (I had composed this entry in email.) Won't turn on, no noise when I hit the power button, confirmed other things in the outlet are fine and moved the plug to a different plug in the surge protector. nope.
*insert string of creative and vehement profanity here*
Ugh. ugh. I can handle this - please God it's just a power cord thing and will only cost a couple hundred dollars, but worst case, I *can* afford to replace it, I just don't *want* to.
sulking angry kitty.
I've posted this at http://lassarina.dreamwidth.org/1149816.html and you may comment there or here. On Dreamwidth, this entry has
comments.