nnnnnnnnnngh.
So I went and had my FMLA appointment yesterday. That went well, but.
So, the reason I needed FMLA paperwork was because migraines, right? Which I get unpredictably but frequently enough that, given our new attendance policy at work, I needed the paperwork to cover my own butt. (My doctor and I had a good little rant together about that--for God's sake, I'm sitting on 50 sick days right now. FIFTY. I've been at this job for seven years come December, and we accrue 12-15 days per year (depending on personal time usage, which rolls into sick days if not used.) So, I've got four full years' accrual of sick days saved, because I don't use them if I can reasonably go to work and perform to an acceptable, if not exceptional, level. But no, gotta have signed paperwork because something something. FFS.
ANYWAY, so in the process of this, I realized migraines weren't in my list of conditions - I've had brief discussions with my doctor about them before, but as mine are usually caused by weather, there's not much to be done for them. HOWEVER, about, oh, one time in six, my migraines come with an aura.
Apparently, when one has migraine with aura, combination birth control pills (such as the one I"m on, Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo) are contraindicated, which I did not know. I've been on this BC for the better part of nine years (except for a two-year interruption on LoEstrin FE which was atrocious, made my headaches worse and made me an incredibly scared anxiety rabbit, so no more of that), but apparently I should think about a change, since the things for which Ortho can be a risk when you have aura migraines are also things for which risk goes up as one gets older.
The problem is that not being able to have combination hormones means my choices are basically copper IUD or hormone IUD. The actual reason I went on birth control, and the primary reason I have it still, is nothing to do with preventing pregnancy and everything to do with cramps, PMS, and heavy bleeding. Given the cramps, copper IUD is not something I'm interested in. That leaves me pretty much "barrier methods and deal with the period", or hormone IUD, so I guess that's going to happen. I read all the literature with the potential side effects and such, and. Eh. I'm being really neurotic about side effects. Then again, I'm super not excited about going back to unmitigated periods, either. I'm not super thrilled about it, but I'll get over it, I guess.
Ehhh. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I say.
So, that happened, and then because I went to bed way later than was remotely reasonable on Thursday night, sometime the middle of yesterday evening I had an abrupt anxiety meltdown over the migraine/birth control thing, to the tune of my brain deciding that I never had migraines before I went on birth control and I DID THIS TO MYSELF AND I AM GOING TO FALL OVER AND DIE GOOD JOB YOU FUCKING MORON. Anxiety meds interrupted this enough for me to go "hmmm, okay, well, I wonder if I blogged about this or emailed Sev and Cel about it?" and then thanks to the magic of Dreamwidth search, confirmed that I had complained about miserable headaches due to weather frequently as far back as 2001, which was six years before I went on birth control. (Also, my father - who I am quite sure has never been on birth control - has sinus headaches when the weather changes; I know I come by it genetically.) fucking anxiety for fuck's sake fucking shit disease. Fortunately for me, paladin (and also Sev and the other people I was playing 14 with) fussed over me and were soothing and logical and provided distractions. So that. happened.
Today I've been really off all day - not sure if it's anxiety hangover, anticipating the storm we're slated to get tomorrow, lack of sleep, the fact that I didn't get any caffeine until noon (two and a half hours after I woke up, which is Too Late by my standards), some combination of same, or something else. I ended up going back to bed and lying down for a bit, which didn't help, and then per my instructions paladin chivvied me out of bed and we went to the pool. I saw a coworker there (several of my coworkers live in this suburb), and we found a nice shady spot to put our towels and read our books.
Downsides: got bitten by a mosquito (goddamn it why does every bug in the fucking universe think I'm delicious); realized after we got to the pool that while I had dutifully applied sunscreen to almost all of me I missed my face. Upsides: Splashing around. I swam about three laps (very slowly unevenly, since small children kept ducking into the lap lane and I had to avoid them) and my shoulders are currently very WHAT IN FUCK, RINA, WHAT DID YOU DO and then we came home since I was being neurotic about the lack of sunscreen. I seem to have only gotten a minor pinkening, which given I burn if I look out a window some days, is pretty impressive.
At that point we were starving since we'd skipped lunch, so we went to the mall for Cheesecake Factory and some shopping at Sur La Table and Teavana. Now I am home and going to make some words, and then we are going to walk down for ice cream later (we skipped cheesecake in favor of ice cream later) and then I think I shall play some FF14, since yesterday I stress-bought it for PS4 while it was half off as a reward for adulting really hard. And now it is downstairs in the basement where it's cool, which is nice since the office gets horrendously hot. I just have to. Relearn all the controls. It's fine.
Okay. Time for words. Words need to happen.
I've posted this at http://lassarina.dreamwidth.org/1149269.html and you may comment there or here. On Dreamwidth, this entry has
comments.
So, the reason I needed FMLA paperwork was because migraines, right? Which I get unpredictably but frequently enough that, given our new attendance policy at work, I needed the paperwork to cover my own butt. (My doctor and I had a good little rant together about that--for God's sake, I'm sitting on 50 sick days right now. FIFTY. I've been at this job for seven years come December, and we accrue 12-15 days per year (depending on personal time usage, which rolls into sick days if not used.) So, I've got four full years' accrual of sick days saved, because I don't use them if I can reasonably go to work and perform to an acceptable, if not exceptional, level. But no, gotta have signed paperwork because something something. FFS.
ANYWAY, so in the process of this, I realized migraines weren't in my list of conditions - I've had brief discussions with my doctor about them before, but as mine are usually caused by weather, there's not much to be done for them. HOWEVER, about, oh, one time in six, my migraines come with an aura.
Apparently, when one has migraine with aura, combination birth control pills (such as the one I"m on, Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo) are contraindicated, which I did not know. I've been on this BC for the better part of nine years (except for a two-year interruption on LoEstrin FE which was atrocious, made my headaches worse and made me an incredibly scared anxiety rabbit, so no more of that), but apparently I should think about a change, since the things for which Ortho can be a risk when you have aura migraines are also things for which risk goes up as one gets older.
The problem is that not being able to have combination hormones means my choices are basically copper IUD or hormone IUD. The actual reason I went on birth control, and the primary reason I have it still, is nothing to do with preventing pregnancy and everything to do with cramps, PMS, and heavy bleeding. Given the cramps, copper IUD is not something I'm interested in. That leaves me pretty much "barrier methods and deal with the period", or hormone IUD, so I guess that's going to happen. I read all the literature with the potential side effects and such, and. Eh. I'm being really neurotic about side effects. Then again, I'm super not excited about going back to unmitigated periods, either. I'm not super thrilled about it, but I'll get over it, I guess.
Ehhh. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I say.
So, that happened, and then because I went to bed way later than was remotely reasonable on Thursday night, sometime the middle of yesterday evening I had an abrupt anxiety meltdown over the migraine/birth control thing, to the tune of my brain deciding that I never had migraines before I went on birth control and I DID THIS TO MYSELF AND I AM GOING TO FALL OVER AND DIE GOOD JOB YOU FUCKING MORON. Anxiety meds interrupted this enough for me to go "hmmm, okay, well, I wonder if I blogged about this or emailed Sev and Cel about it?" and then thanks to the magic of Dreamwidth search, confirmed that I had complained about miserable headaches due to weather frequently as far back as 2001, which was six years before I went on birth control. (Also, my father - who I am quite sure has never been on birth control - has sinus headaches when the weather changes; I know I come by it genetically.) fucking anxiety for fuck's sake fucking shit disease. Fortunately for me, paladin (and also Sev and the other people I was playing 14 with) fussed over me and were soothing and logical and provided distractions. So that. happened.
Today I've been really off all day - not sure if it's anxiety hangover, anticipating the storm we're slated to get tomorrow, lack of sleep, the fact that I didn't get any caffeine until noon (two and a half hours after I woke up, which is Too Late by my standards), some combination of same, or something else. I ended up going back to bed and lying down for a bit, which didn't help, and then per my instructions paladin chivvied me out of bed and we went to the pool. I saw a coworker there (several of my coworkers live in this suburb), and we found a nice shady spot to put our towels and read our books.
Downsides: got bitten by a mosquito (goddamn it why does every bug in the fucking universe think I'm delicious); realized after we got to the pool that while I had dutifully applied sunscreen to almost all of me I missed my face. Upsides: Splashing around. I swam about three laps (very slowly unevenly, since small children kept ducking into the lap lane and I had to avoid them) and my shoulders are currently very WHAT IN FUCK, RINA, WHAT DID YOU DO and then we came home since I was being neurotic about the lack of sunscreen. I seem to have only gotten a minor pinkening, which given I burn if I look out a window some days, is pretty impressive.
At that point we were starving since we'd skipped lunch, so we went to the mall for Cheesecake Factory and some shopping at Sur La Table and Teavana. Now I am home and going to make some words, and then we are going to walk down for ice cream later (we skipped cheesecake in favor of ice cream later) and then I think I shall play some FF14, since yesterday I stress-bought it for PS4 while it was half off as a reward for adulting really hard. And now it is downstairs in the basement where it's cool, which is nice since the office gets horrendously hot. I just have to. Relearn all the controls. It's fine.
Okay. Time for words. Words need to happen.
I've posted this at http://lassarina.dreamwidth.org/1149269.html and you may comment there or here. On Dreamwidth, this entry has
comments.