crap
I do things for other people.
I don't mean I go out of my way to help someone, or I like to make my friends happy.
Nor am I saying that I crumble to pressure to do things.
It just hit me- I have NO idea what I am doing.
Why am I in music? Yeah, I enjoy singing, I'm good at it, and I love music... but I'm thinking that's it. I have another reason...... because someone else told me I should and I thought, "you're right! I should!" and wanting to prove to that person that I could, wanting to make them proud, I'm doing it. I'm not saying I don't enjoy what I'm doing, or that it's a waste, or that I wish I had chosen a different path. I'm just saying that I don't feel the need to prove anything anymore here, and my drive is waning.
I have a new minor...... and to not get into it ALL over again, but I think I do things because people I respect, people I look up to, people who make me want to better myself tell me that I would excel in what they excel in-- and I think Ok.
I'm thinking this is no longer a good plan. I have NO idea what I am really interested in..... I need a direction. I'll be done w/ my BA in about a year... then what? I need to figure this out...... bitches and hos!
I don't mean I go out of my way to help someone, or I like to make my friends happy.
Nor am I saying that I crumble to pressure to do things.
It just hit me- I have NO idea what I am doing.
Why am I in music? Yeah, I enjoy singing, I'm good at it, and I love music... but I'm thinking that's it. I have another reason...... because someone else told me I should and I thought, "you're right! I should!" and wanting to prove to that person that I could, wanting to make them proud, I'm doing it. I'm not saying I don't enjoy what I'm doing, or that it's a waste, or that I wish I had chosen a different path. I'm just saying that I don't feel the need to prove anything anymore here, and my drive is waning.
I have a new minor...... and to not get into it ALL over again, but I think I do things because people I respect, people I look up to, people who make me want to better myself tell me that I would excel in what they excel in-- and I think Ok.
I'm thinking this is no longer a good plan. I have NO idea what I am really interested in..... I need a direction. I'll be done w/ my BA in about a year... then what? I need to figure this out...... bitches and hos!