Dec 02, 2010 16:01
[After hearing about Santa Claus from Danny, and hearing that he really didn't like the holiday, Flynn had decided to do some research on the subject in the library and through the network. He seems to have taken the entire event the wrong way.]
It has come to my attention that a holiday known as 'Christmas' is approaching. From what I have learned of this occassion, it is a time in which a criminal named Santa Claus makes his annual apperance. His crimes pertain the following:
One: Un-authorized entry into civilians homes during the night time.
He is said to mainly enter through a chimney, though it's been noted that he has the magical power to get into a home regardless of whether they have a fireplace or not. Those of you in the village of Espoir should remain on guard.
Two: Simple theft.
When Santa breaks into the person's home, he is known to steal food items such as milk, cookies, mince pies and on occassion red wine.
Three: Driving whilst under the influence.
Because Santa has been reported to steal red wine from the residents, it would only take two glasses for him to be over the legal limit for driving.
Four: The illegal surveillance of underage minors.
Santa is somehow able to observe the actions of children from his home located in a place known as the "North Pole". He then proceeds to create a record of the children's behaviour without their written consent.
Five: Slave labour.
Santa employs countless elves in order to create 'toys' for children. These elves recieve no payment, and they are forced to work for much longer than the legal maximum. On a day known as Christmas Eve, they will work without a break for over 24 hours. The elves are also given no right to appeal against Santa. This is not to mention to mistreatment of the Reindeer in his care.
If there are any more crimes that this man known as 'Santa Claus' has commited, then please contact me as soon as possible for the information to be added to his record.
public service announcement,
*voice,
santa is evil