(screaming whispers in the dark.)
Currently Reading: Haunted, Chuck Palahniuk.
There are very few people in whose company I really feel like I can be myself. Not the watered-down bullshit version of myself most people see. People that I'll burp in front of, then dedicate it to them. Girls I can feel up without them freaking out, & boys with whom I can discuss sex, without any expectations.
None of you know how much that means to me. Seriously.
The more & more I think about it, the less I like the idea of someone going with me to visit Rebekah. With the exception of a very minute group of people (Jesse & Caitlin probably make up the entire list), I can't imagine that it would be nearly as fun. Not that I don't like other people who would/could go, it's just that I want things to be exactly like they were, in April/May. I want it to all feel the way it did, then.
You don't complete that.
For the longest time, people have been telling me that my teenage years are the years that I'm supposed to be spending figuring shit out. Does that mean I'll eventually understand everything in my life? I don't think it does, & I really hope it doesn't, because I'm afraid of what that could mean.
I'm not ready to know how to act.
I don't even know what I'm talking about, anymore.
If you're reading this (& I doubt you are), I want you to know that I think about you all the fucking time.
I swore I wouldn't do this again.
There are very few people in whose company I really feel like I can be myself. Not the watered-down bullshit version of myself most people see. People that I'll burp in front of, then dedicate it to them. Girls I can feel up without them freaking out, & boys with whom I can discuss sex, without any expectations.
None of you know how much that means to me. Seriously.
The more & more I think about it, the less I like the idea of someone going with me to visit Rebekah. With the exception of a very minute group of people (Jesse & Caitlin probably make up the entire list), I can't imagine that it would be nearly as fun. Not that I don't like other people who would/could go, it's just that I want things to be exactly like they were, in April/May. I want it to all feel the way it did, then.
You don't complete that.
For the longest time, people have been telling me that my teenage years are the years that I'm supposed to be spending figuring shit out. Does that mean I'll eventually understand everything in my life? I don't think it does, & I really hope it doesn't, because I'm afraid of what that could mean.
I'm not ready to know how to act.
I don't even know what I'm talking about, anymore.
If you're reading this (& I doubt you are), I want you to know that I think about you all the fucking time.
I swore I wouldn't do this again.