1 year
Well I started this journal a year ago today, with hope of it giving me some insight to myself..it sort of did- it told me that I don't have anytime for myself and that I rarely take the time out to think about it. Today was my day off- it was nice because all I did was lay around the house and watch the marathon television shows of CSI. I have been kind of depressedm lately but I have been trying not to show it. I just realized how boring I have become and I have nothing to talk about except work. The strong realization came when I was riding to the cemetary with a few of my partners and I could not think of anything to say interesting except something realated to work. So to give and update on my boring life. I still work at 8423..I hardly ever get a day off now- which fuels arguments with Tim and my Mom because I never have enough time for them and when I do have time I just want to be by myself. I am broke and can not wait to pay off my car note so I can begin paying off my credit card debt. I am not sure buying a house was the best thing to do right now. It's nice but I do not have time to fix it up/clean it or even have the money to buy the things we need. My relationship with Tim is good I could not think of anyone else I would want to share my life with. I know he gets bored sometimes aswell as I do. We are planning to get married on November 11th, 2005 ( our Five year anniversary) I am excited but it's not at all what I ever dreamed my wedding to be like. I thought I would get this romantic proposal.. a fabulous ring and an announcement worthy of a queen.. Instead no romantic proposal just an agreed upon date. No ring because we are broke and an announcement that no one seemed to care about. Tim wants to go to Bemini for the wedding where there will be noone there that knows us and nothing there but a beach and some deep sea fishers. I always dreamed of a great big party with all my friends and family members there to celebrate_ that looks like that won't happen( because we are broke ) You only get married once and I want atleast part of my dream to come true. Well I guess I should just be happy that I have someone who loves me and that wants to be my bestfriend forever. That's the most important thing. Besides the wedding drama- we went to Pennsylvania and met Tim's mom's side fo the family. It was fun...Well I am tired of typing I guess this is enough for now.