ijkdlas
FOR THE FIRST PART OF THIS POST, PLEASE REFER TO THE POST DIRECTLY BEFORE THIS ONE
YA KNOW, INCASE ANY OF YOU ARE TOTALLY [SJASK]
--
so i get to work; the table has already begun to show up. i get clocked in and start making love to the brains of my lovely guests.
the party goes very smoothly; time comes for checks and i forget to add the gratuity onto the ticket. my guests ask me about a grat, i tell them that i forgot to add it and i would appreciate their contributions; each one of them tipped me "decently".
the table was then reconfigured for another big table; myself and a co-worker [adam a] took the table together. i ended up with a table filled with children; this was one of the most annoying things i have ever done in my life. to describe to you how annoying it actually was would be impossible, because there are not words to describe it; only angry fucking swears and random stab wounds; but i will bring you the worst of the entire ordeal; at one point in the night, as i was checking on my children, one of the little girls [who was maybe 3] actually walked up and snuck me in the nuts. I ACTUALLY WAS PUNCHED IN THE BALLS BY A TINY BLACK GIRL TONIGHT!
the rest of the party went ok, i cleaned up everything, ended up making 56 bucks on this table. i go to check how much i made on the table earlier that night.
TABLE 1 TOTAL; $4
...
GRAND TOTAL FOR THE ENTIRE DAY: $60
i went to the back, did my silver and ribnaps, and then came to the front to do my sidework. this girl, alex, who is not only a bartender but a VERY CUTE ONE says, "Hey Frank, why did you put this paper in the calculator sideways?"
"What?" i replied.
"Well Mike here says that you put the paper in the calculator sideways..."
[CAP ON MIKE - mike is like a 40 year old man who's about to be a father, and he's pretty fucking nuts, but he's cool. the first night i worked with him i stole one of his tables and he almost stabbed me. i'm pretty sure he threatened to rip my heart out, or something to that extent..
BACK TO THE STORY!]
i walk up behind mike, who is on the computer fixing something for one of his tables, "I'm coming for you first, Mike. I'm gonna come in when you're not expecting it, and i'm just gonna break you. Once you're broken i'm gonna drink your spinal fluid, and after you drop i'm gonna crack your skull open and eat your pituitary gland before running into the mall and going completely apeshit ;3"
he turned and looked at me, and i smiled at him before patting his shoulder and walking away. Alex looked at me in that "WHAT THE FUCK" kind of way and said, "Frank, you scare me..."
I laughed, "Aww come on, i'm just joking!" INSERT PAUSE "OR AM I?! YOU DON'T KNOW! HAHAHA"
that's the last i saw of her tonight. i'd say it went over well.
i finished up my work and went home; i have off until tomorrow at 3. i'm bored as shit. i went to dibbz for a while, but after realizing that there was nothing worthwhile to keep me there i left. i'm now sitting at home, drinking beer and posting in my LJ.
i am so fucking awesome, you guys.
YA KNOW, INCASE ANY OF YOU ARE TOTALLY [SJASK]
--
so i get to work; the table has already begun to show up. i get clocked in and start making love to the brains of my lovely guests.
the party goes very smoothly; time comes for checks and i forget to add the gratuity onto the ticket. my guests ask me about a grat, i tell them that i forgot to add it and i would appreciate their contributions; each one of them tipped me "decently".
the table was then reconfigured for another big table; myself and a co-worker [adam a] took the table together. i ended up with a table filled with children; this was one of the most annoying things i have ever done in my life. to describe to you how annoying it actually was would be impossible, because there are not words to describe it; only angry fucking swears and random stab wounds; but i will bring you the worst of the entire ordeal; at one point in the night, as i was checking on my children, one of the little girls [who was maybe 3] actually walked up and snuck me in the nuts. I ACTUALLY WAS PUNCHED IN THE BALLS BY A TINY BLACK GIRL TONIGHT!
the rest of the party went ok, i cleaned up everything, ended up making 56 bucks on this table. i go to check how much i made on the table earlier that night.
TABLE 1 TOTAL; $4
...
GRAND TOTAL FOR THE ENTIRE DAY: $60
i went to the back, did my silver and ribnaps, and then came to the front to do my sidework. this girl, alex, who is not only a bartender but a VERY CUTE ONE says, "Hey Frank, why did you put this paper in the calculator sideways?"
"What?" i replied.
"Well Mike here says that you put the paper in the calculator sideways..."
[CAP ON MIKE - mike is like a 40 year old man who's about to be a father, and he's pretty fucking nuts, but he's cool. the first night i worked with him i stole one of his tables and he almost stabbed me. i'm pretty sure he threatened to rip my heart out, or something to that extent..
BACK TO THE STORY!]
i walk up behind mike, who is on the computer fixing something for one of his tables, "I'm coming for you first, Mike. I'm gonna come in when you're not expecting it, and i'm just gonna break you. Once you're broken i'm gonna drink your spinal fluid, and after you drop i'm gonna crack your skull open and eat your pituitary gland before running into the mall and going completely apeshit ;3"
he turned and looked at me, and i smiled at him before patting his shoulder and walking away. Alex looked at me in that "WHAT THE FUCK" kind of way and said, "Frank, you scare me..."
I laughed, "Aww come on, i'm just joking!" INSERT PAUSE "OR AM I?! YOU DON'T KNOW! HAHAHA"
that's the last i saw of her tonight. i'd say it went over well.
i finished up my work and went home; i have off until tomorrow at 3. i'm bored as shit. i went to dibbz for a while, but after realizing that there was nothing worthwhile to keep me there i left. i'm now sitting at home, drinking beer and posting in my LJ.
i am so fucking awesome, you guys.