work stories [EXPLICIT LANGUAGE!]
earlier today i was at work. there was this guy there named jeff who was getting very upset at the sugar caddy he was trying to refill.
"God damn sugar caddy!" he exclaimed, "There's always one that has to be a bitch! I just wanna cock back and punch it in it's fucking face!"
i lol'd; a coworker, adam, turns the corner and replies, "Calm down there, Mr. Manly..."
Jeff, still angered, responds, "I could break this mother fucker, no problem..."
i lol again, and retort, "Well, if you really want to feel like a man you should give up on punching sugar caddies and just punch a woman!"
at that point our manager, who was subbing as a waitress for the day, walks around the corner and gasps.
my reply, "Man, tough crowd!"
edit: i almost forgot!
after this comment, jeff paid me a dollar to do the sugar caddy for him, since he was just so pissed he couldn't deal with it.
"oh that's great, i'll give this dollar to my punching bag...I MEAN WIFE!"
to which he responded "you have a wife"
"haha, no"
"ahh, just trying to offend someone, eh?"
"well, why not?"
/edit
some people just don't have a sense of humor, AMIRITE?!
also, this is what my service manager said to jeff, the man angry at sugar caddies, earlier that very same shift!
tony: "yo man, you know how to get rid of crabs?"
jeff: "no?"
tony: "well what you gotta do is you gotta shave half of the pubes off of your cock, then you drench the other side with gasoline and you light that shit on fire. all the little crabs will start running away from the fire, then you just stab the fuck out of each of the little bastards with an ice pick!"
i love my job.
"God damn sugar caddy!" he exclaimed, "There's always one that has to be a bitch! I just wanna cock back and punch it in it's fucking face!"
i lol'd; a coworker, adam, turns the corner and replies, "Calm down there, Mr. Manly..."
Jeff, still angered, responds, "I could break this mother fucker, no problem..."
i lol again, and retort, "Well, if you really want to feel like a man you should give up on punching sugar caddies and just punch a woman!"
at that point our manager, who was subbing as a waitress for the day, walks around the corner and gasps.
my reply, "Man, tough crowd!"
edit: i almost forgot!
after this comment, jeff paid me a dollar to do the sugar caddy for him, since he was just so pissed he couldn't deal with it.
"oh that's great, i'll give this dollar to my punching bag...I MEAN WIFE!"
to which he responded "you have a wife"
"haha, no"
"ahh, just trying to offend someone, eh?"
"well, why not?"
/edit
some people just don't have a sense of humor, AMIRITE?!
also, this is what my service manager said to jeff, the man angry at sugar caddies, earlier that very same shift!
tony: "yo man, you know how to get rid of crabs?"
jeff: "no?"
tony: "well what you gotta do is you gotta shave half of the pubes off of your cock, then you drench the other side with gasoline and you light that shit on fire. all the little crabs will start running away from the fire, then you just stab the fuck out of each of the little bastards with an ice pick!"
i love my job.