(no subject)
This weekend made me sick. I mean, it was fun. But here we are, on this beautiful lake, enjoying the summer, and all I could see was the sickening decadence and complete waste of resources. I could give examples forever: we ate all of our meals on paper plates. That was probably the least offensive thing that happened. These are the things people like to do on lakes, apparently: use a jet ski. Go tubing behind a jet ski. Go tubing behind a boat. Ride around the lake in a boat. Go water skiing, wakeboarding, knee boarding behind a boat. It is so American! All of our forms of entertainment MUST involve wasting gas. So instead of getting more exercise and making little to no impact on the environment, we go for the thrill and the danger, and use ridiculous amounts of gas powering recreational water vehicles. I personally would prefer to go canoeing or kayaking. Even paddleboating! But we did all of those other things instead. And when we made our way around the lake in the boat... we rode by everyone else, with their boats, their multiple jet skis, and their air conditioned mansions. It was so unnecessary! And of course most of those people drive SUVs and trucks, and then they probably complain about the price of gas. Doesn't it ever strike them as ridiculous? What other country would be able to justify entertainment like this? Kind of like NASCAR - WHY???? Is the world so big that we cannot see that our actions could possibly affect someone out there (possibly our children, or grandchildren)? Besides the fact that we are using money we could use to help someone, what about the impact of our actions on this earth? We have all heard how small the chance is that a planet like this could even exist, and yet, here we are. Shouldn’t we respect that, at least a little bit? Are we so blind that we continue in our lust for stuff, for things, for doodads and knickknacks and TOYS for the thrill seeking adult, instead of looking at the world and realizing that there are communities out there desperately in need of food and water? (That's another pet peeve of mine - watering the lawn. It wastes water, and then it wastes gas, because you have to cut it. It's a LAWN. Oh my goodness, the neighbors might see your BROWN LAWN. Social suicide!) I had fun this weekend. Learning to water ski was cool (even if I barely got up before wiping out) and so was riding/driving a jet ski, tubing, driving the boat around the lake. I can see the appeal. But I cannot imagine being able to justify that behavior, day after day, summer after summer.
And then I wonder if I can break out of that cycle of “I want I want I want” - because I love a new pair of shoes or a new CD or a shirt or pants or ridiculously expensive coffee shop muffins just as much as the next person - so how do I justify making $1000 dollars last month, and keeping it for myself? Is it enough to know that I need to stay in school and then I can go crazy and run away to Africa or become a ridiculous dreadheaded activist who changes peoples’ minds and makes them want to do better… what if I agree to wait to change the world for three more years? And even if I give away $100, or $200, to a charity that helps children in Africa go to school or something, what about the kids in this country who are getting left behind? What about the kids who are growing up around that lake, taking their jet ski and their boat and their SUV for granted? When do they learn that there is more world out there, and that maybe the best way to do things isn't for us all to try to grab a piece of this world for ourselves, and hang on to it with all of our might? What if they grow up forever thinking that it is the fault of the homeless person in Washington D.C. that she or he doesn't have 5 bedrooms and three bathrooms and a big screen TV? What if they decide that for whatever reason, they deserve all of those things, and never think about all of the people who will never have the chance to attend college, simply because they were born into the wrong family? What does that mean for them as a person, if they never learn to look beyond the riches they already possess? I know I am thankful that I am not that child.
So how can I look at my life and their lives, and judge those people, but not give up my own life - when I get out of college here, I will have immense debts to pay off. What if I get a job to pay off those loans, and by the time I do, I am reconsumed by materialism and I never look past it, what if I just try to get a car and a nice house and not bother anyone? CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF?
And how do I look at my friends - I love them, I respect them, I care about them - how do I look at them and learn to accept the fact that many of those things that made me sick this weekend are the realities they live with and enjoy? How do I accept that one of my best friends drives an SUV on a regular basis, despite being a member of the campus greens? How do I look at that, ride in it, accept her generosity, and never say anything, never ask her why she does it, never ask why she doesn't trade it in? Because in my mind, I am wondering how she can drive it without begging her parents to get her something else, ANYTHING else, as long as it runs on less gas.
And I'm scared that America will never change. I'm scared that we will single-handedly melt the icecaps and destroy the planet, and if there is survival to be bought, it will be by us, the American destroyers, because we have the money and the military. The future is quite possibly the most terrifying thing imaginable. Sometimes I don’t know if I want to see it all happen. What will it take to find those rich people and convince them that global warming is real and threatening, that their toys are not necessary, and that they owe more to the world than what they are giving?