blah
man, i hate emotions. sometimes i wish i were born without any. it'd be so much easier. i wouldnt have to care about anything or anybody. wouldnt have to worry about loving or being loved. wouldnt give a shit if someone didnt like me, wouldnt flinch in the least to dispose of those i truely hate. but im not. i have to fucking have emotions. i have to sit here everyday, thinking, with my emotions, with no one to share them with. sitting up all night because i cant sleep because of my thoughts. it needs to all go away. it needs to fucking stop. i need to be able to fucking not live like this. but i cant. i cant not live like this. because i am to shy. because i have never had anyone to share my emotions with, therefore i keep them to myself. it makes my stomach twisted. i need to learn how to talk about things. but being that i never have, i really dont know how. none of you know how i feel. you just think you know. but you know nothing. i wish some of you did. but its fucking hopeless. GOD DAMN ME!