Until Midnight (1/1)
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: K
Summary: A chance encounter with heiress Rose Tyler starts John Smith, a TA with a controlling professor and two free-loading colleagues, down a road he never thought he deserved.
A/N: Written for crocophant for strange_charmed's 2013 secret santa fic exchange on Tumblr!
Thanks to rudennotginger for the beta!
“Mr. Smith! Mr. Smith, wait up!”
John closed his eyes and let out a sigh, before turning and plastering on a smile to the running student. “Nolan. Enjoying your weekend?”
The boy puffed a bit before nodding. “I was actually just on my way to ask you about chapter five. I’ve been studying, but the homework makes no sense.”
“My office hours are posted on my door, and any further hours require an appointment,” John reminded him yet again. “There’s tutoring available if you need it.”
“But they don’t help!” Nolan complained. “And I was supposed to meet up with Mr. Mitchell, but he was with another student and told me to come to you!”
John bit back a groan. Of course. “Was the student female?”
Nolan paused. “Er, yes. But it was a different subject and…”
“Never mind,” John interrupted. “Just remember what I said in class- everything you need is on the formula sheet I passed out on the first day. Just look at what numbers you have, what numbers you need, and then compare it to that sheet.”
Though disappointed, the boy finally relented and wandered off. John knew he shouldn’t have come into the office today. As one of three TA’s for Professor Yana, his time was already taken up by teaching, grading, and working on his dissertation; he didn’t need Adam Mitchell trying to once again foist work upon him.
However, he did need to finish grading the tests, and his flat was simply too…empty to get work done in. His office on campus was small, but was located in one of the oldest buildings and had character. The wood-panelled walls and thick glass window looked like something out of a history book, but he loved it.
He opened the door and carefully squeezed through, the bookcase on his right and the desk on his left providing a narrow pathway. The room opened up a bit after that, allowing for a round table and a few chairs where he typically sat when helping students, but all other surfaces were covered in books, papers, and instruments. A telescope was pointed out of the one window, and a chart showing the orbit of the planets was hung on the wall nearby.
One more year, he thought. And then I’ll finally be done.
He placed his briefcase down, took out the papers, and started to work.
~*~
Jack crashed into his room around lunchtime. “Johnny!” he said happily, throwing himself into one of the chairs. “Listen, buddy, I know you’re busy, but do you think you can take over my tutoring session Tuesday?”
“I’ve covered all of them for the past two months, Jack,” John reminded him. “If you were getting paid I’d have already complained.”
Jack pouted. “Please? By this point you might as well be their tutor; you know them better than I do!”
He sighed. “Fine. But that means I can’t help you on your research, you know.”
The man paused, but finally nodded. “Fine. Thanks, Johnny.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Jack winked and left, leaving John to nurse his developing headache. Not for the first time, he regretted getting his third masters, or at least stayed with the University of Edinburgh; he had learned from one of his uni mates that Christina had left within a year because of family troubles. Since she had been the reason he left, it was an annoyance to discover that sticking it out would have paid off. Too late now, of course; he was firmly entrenched in his current program, and transferring now would be too much of a hassle.
Then again, it would prevent Adam, Jack, and even Professor Yana from taking advantage of him. He wasn’t entirely sure when he had become their scapegoat, but now he was quite used to covering for all three… or doing the dirty work. Professor Yana was brilliant, but moral he was not.
The star chart on the far wall caught his eye, and he stared at it for a long moment. He wanted to travel the world, see things that a photograph couldn’t adequately capture, experience moments that took his breath away. He wanted to see the world, not just study it with numbers and theories through instruments and microscopes.
John sighed and went back to grading. It was that mindset that had created all his problems; it was safer with his books and his numbers.
~*~
He typically wore his suit to tutoring. He wasn’t entirely sure why, since his normal attire was jeans and a graphic tee, but it had started due to a communication error and he had continued on a whim. It gave him character, and the students seemed to be amused by it.
Jack was a political science major with a minor in mathematics, which is why Professor Yana had agreed to take him on. John had to do a bit of learning on the fly in order to help the kids Jack had been assigned, but he had been doing well so far. There had been no complaints, at least so far, and he really did enjoy it.
So, dressed in a brown suit with blue pinstripes, he gathered up his books and headed across town.
His flat was a brisk twenty minute walk to campus, which was enjoyable in the summer but not so much in the fall. Luckily the rain seemed to be holding, and he avoided the puddles expertly. Still, he wore his coat just in case.
John was passing in front of a tailor’s shop, carefully balancing his books, when the door opened and the person passing through ran into him. He yelped, the books crashing to the ground and the person- woman, rather, from what he could feel pressing into him- nearly knocked him over if it weren’t for the phone booth. “Sorry, sorry!” The woman exclaimed, staggering as she juggled a garment bag.
“I’m ok,” he wheezed, having rammed into the phone booth a bit harder than expected. They righted themselves and he stared at his books in dismay, since they had landed in a large puddle. “My books aren’t though.” He bent over and began collecting them again, shaking them futilely.
“Let me help.” She crouched down nearby, and soon they had the books gathered.
He stood, noticing that she had hooked the hanger on the top of the phone booth. It was sheltered from the wind so it wouldn’t fall off, and he admired her quick thinking for a moment before turning back to her. “Thanks,” he said, shifting the books so he could take the others.
She was smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but think she looked oddly familiar. Honey-blonde hair, brown eyes with flecks of gold, and full lips that…no. He had just met her. Ever since the fire…
“No problem,” she replied, and carefully handed over his possessions. “You sure you got that?”
He internally shook himself and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Do this every week. I’m sure the books won’t be too damaged…besides, I have some in worse conditions that I can still read.”
“The sign of a good book,” she agreed. “Anyway, sorry once again. Hope you have a good day.”
“You too,” he replied, and watched her as she retrieved her dress and walked in the opposite direction, hips swaying. Ten years ago he would have been chasing after her for her number, but he had changed since then. With a sigh, he turned back to continue his walk.
Had he stayed, he would have seen her turn back to look at him, too.
~*~
Yana knew John hated social functions, so he went out of his way to ensure that John would attend one in lieu of Yana himself. If John’s future didn’t hang on the man so much, he would have put his foot down ages ago.
And while it did give him some more contacts (not that he was lacking in those; the Gallifrey project had opened a lot of doors), he never promised to stay the entire time. Once the speeches concluded he typically charmed one of the kitchen staff to give him a bag of nibbles and he dashed.
He arrived thirty minutes late, as usual, dressed once more in his brown suit. A few members of the faculty that recognized him said hello, but most of the people were chair members of the various boards. Yana had instructed him to ‘suck up and get more money’, but one quick look told him that most of the attendees were attached to the college of business, or the college of arts and letters. No one would be particularly interested in physics.
During the break between speeches, he slipped outside to the balcony, a glass of champagne dangling loosely in his hand. Jessica from catering had already promised him a bag of the banana canapes, so after the next five awards he was free.
Somewhere below him there came a scuffle and a soft “bugger!” as someone stumbled onto the path. John was surprised to see the woman who had knocked him over two weeks ago, wearing a shimmery blue dress and swearing at her heels. He smiled. “Heels are dangerous, you know. As a concerned citizen, I’m recommending you wear flats.”
She smiled but didn’t look up at him as she readjusted the straps. “Trust me, I would happily take your advice, but unfortunately I didn’t choose the dress.” Once her shoes were once more situated comfortably she looked up at him. “Did your books turn up all right?”
He shrugged. “Bit wrinkled, but I can still read them. Is that the dress you were carrying?”
“Yeah, actually.” She grinned, pleased.
“You look beautiful,” he admitted, honestly, and due to the night shadows he was unsure if he imagined her blush or not.
He found some stairs and quickly joined her down in the hotel’s garden, offering her his arm and guiding her to a stone bench. “So, what department are you here for?” he asked, as she adjusted her skirt.
“I’m here for my father, actually,” she admitted. “My mum’s pregnant and ready to pop, and he’s been fussing over her. I volunteered to come so he wouldn’t be blowing up the phone all night checking in on her.”
He smiled wryly. “What a coincidence. I’m filling in for someone too. He told me to make a good impression and mooch money off the rich and wealthy, however.” He rolled his eyes and she laughed.
“Well, I’m sure the rich and wealthy will be happy to support… what department are you in?” She asked, curiously.
“Physics,” he replied.
“They will be happy to support physics,” she continued. “Anyway, looks like it’s starting again. Try to stay awake, yeah?”
He smiled and helped her up. “Only if you do,” he replied.
“I make no promises,” she said cheekily.
They go their separate ways when they get indoors, and he zones out until the announcer calls up Rose Tyler- he perks up slightly, wondering what the Vitex Heiress is doing there, of all places- and stares in a mix of horror and intrigue as the very familiar woman gets up on stage. And he had just admitted to being there only for money…oh, stars, what was he thinking?
Rose was presenting an award to some benefactor, thanking them for their loyal service throughout the years and the donations to help fund the research that kept the University at the top. He sank down in his chair, attempting to hide behind the couple in front of him, hoping that her eyes wouldn’t pass over him.
Despite his best efforts to hide she caught him as he was fleeing the party, the bag of canapes in one hand. “You didn’t fall asleep, did you?” She teased, looking stunning in her gown. He swallowed.
“No, no I didn’t.” he replied. “Especially not during your speech. Can’t remember what the award was about, but you were by far the most attractive speaker tonight.” John cursed himself silently. He had a tendency to flirt with women automatically, and it landed him in hot water more often than not. Rose, however, was a rich, accomplished woman who would never even give him the time of day, and was only being nice; she didn’t need the likes of him fawning over her.
Rose looked pointedly around the room at the older men that were in attendance, but smiled. “Thank you. I never got your name, by the way.”
He hesitated. “You can call me… the Doctor.” It was a silly whim, really, and a futile attempt to disguise himself. She didn’t need a lowly TA who had blood on his hands. He also needed to stop assuming that she was interested in him like that; from the few magazines he had read, she had a steady boyfriend by the name of Mickey, and they were probably happy together.
“That supposed to sound impressive?” She laughed.
“A bit,” he said, slightly wounded. “I have three of them, you know.”
She looked intrigued. “Really?”
“Linguistics, engineering, and history,” he replied, preening a little. “Bit of a genius, me.”
Rose smirked at him. “Not at all humble, are you?”
“I worked hard for them, might as well wear the title proudly,” he shrugged. “But if my brains don’t do it for you, what skills do I need to show you to impress, Miss Rose Tyler?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Rose sipped at her champagne, eyeing him from head to toe and lingering in places that caused him to flush slightly. “Depends, Doctor. You got the brains, but do you have the moves?” she sashayed by him, pausing to whisper in his ear, “Full Moon, next tuesday at six. Tell them I sent you.” She walked off, hips swaying, and he watched, mesmerized.
He had promised himself that he wouldn’t get close to another person again. But oh, Rose Tyler was pushing his resolve. And he knew that the fall would be a glorious torment.
~*~
Yana must have somehow found out that John was slacking at the party, because he found the man waiting for him in his office on Monday and proceeded to give him twice as much work. John gritted his teeth and promised to have it done by Wednesday.
Hours later, as he was busy grading term papers, his door slammed open and an irate red-head glared down at him. “Oi, spaceman! You were supposed to meet me for lunch!”
John startled and looked at the clock, wincing when he realized he had worked through his lunch date. “Sorry, Donna. Yana gave me more work and I need to get it done.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re always happy to leave it to the last minute. Why is today any different?”
John fidgeted. “I…have to keep him happy, you know that.”
“You’re an awful liar, John. I’m your best friend, I know that look. Now spill.”
He sighed. “I might have a date on Tuesday that I need to go to, and so I need to get this done beforehand.”
Donna looked gobsmacked before smiling slowly. “It’s about time. Ever since Renee…”
“It’s not like that,” he interrupted, glaring at her. “I won’t let it be like that. We’re meeting at a club, as friends, and that’s all there is to it.” He began marking the paper in front of him with harsh, angry red lines.
Donna was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I’m happy you’re moving on, you know. The fire wasn’t your fault, and you’re wasted here. What happened to the Gallifrey project? You know they would gladly take you back. The Kasterborous Theory hasn’t made any progress since you left.”
He shook his head. “It’s safe here, Donna. And besides, I like learning. At least here I can make a difference, help students understand what they need to learn to succeed in their chosen field. And once I complete my doctoral studies I can become a professor full-time; Harvard has been after me since the beginning, and Boston isn’t that much different from London.”
“It’s America,” Donna said, rolling her eyes. “It’s practically another planet. So anyway, what’s her name?”
He ignored her, scrawling out a comment on the unlucky student’s essay. Once she realized that he was going to be stubborn, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. I ordered lunch for you once I realized you weren’t going to show. Should I call gramps and let him know you won’t be coming to dinner?”
“Yes, thanks. I’ll probably be here late. Tell your mum I’ll be ‘round Thursday to fix the washer.”
They made small talk as Donna made sure he ate, carrying the conversation as she told him what her family had been up to while he graded papers. When she mentioned Lee, a co-worker of hers, had asked her out last week, he perked up a bit and started engaging in the conversation. By the time Donna left she had successfully distracted him from thoughts of Rose and whatever their relationship was, and by the time he left campus he had finished quite a sizeable portion of the essays.
John managed to distract himself from thoughts of his date that night, staying longer than usual after class to answer questions, throwing himself into grading the essays Yana had left him and his own student’s homework. He even worked on Adam’s research project with a minimum amount of annoyance when he called in sick, but from his tone of voice was merely hungover. Since all John had to do was work on his final thesis, it was a bit of a relief to finally work with actual equipment again.
And then five o’clock came, and he suddenly found himself locking up his office.
He hesitated for a while outside his door, wondering what on earth he was doing and telling himself to go back inside and finish grading. She was probably going to stand him up, he told himself. She got carried away that night- they both did- but she woke up the next morning wondering what had possessed her, or more than likely forgot about it entirely.
Finally he ran his hand through his hair and headed towards his flat. Worse case scenario she didn’t show up, and he wouldn’t have to worry about her getting past his walls. Actually, worse case scenario she DID show up, and he ended up doing something he was supposed to never do again.
He really was in trouble.
~*~
As promised, he was ushered inside and sat a private table, overlooking the main dance floor. Despite it being a bit nicer than most clubs he had frequented in his youth, the lights and music were the same, and despite himself he was nodding along to the beat.
Since he was watching the crowd he didn’t notice Rose approaching, so he was surprised when she slid into the booth beside him. “Do you ever wear anything else?” She asked, gesturing at his brown pinstripe trousers and blue oxford.
“I took off the jacket and tie,” he protested.
She raised her eyebrows. “It’s a club, Doctor. You’re going to get sweaty.”
“Good thing I have a vest,” he replied, watching her reaction from his periphery as he tried to locate the bar. Her face had gone a little slack, but she quickly shook herself.
She stood, and it was his turn to gulp.
In the shadows of the booth he hadn’t been able to see her attire, but now that he had it was difficult to look away. She was wearing a thin, strapless white dress that barely covered her hips, and black heels that accentuated her long legs. A plain black necklace was the only jewelry she was wearing, and her hair was curled and pinned with a few wisps framing her face. She was… glorious. And staring at him with a knowing look.
He hastily closed his mouth and cleared his throat. “You look nice,” he finally said, lamely, after his brain flopped about instead of thinking of a compliment.
Rose grinned and grabbed his hand, hauling him up. “Come on. You got the moves? Show me your moves.”
“Well,” he drawled, as he followed her to the dance floor, “I’ve got the moves but I wouldn’t want to boast.”
They were absorbed by the bodies already packed onto the floor, and Rose looped her arms loosely around his shoulders. “You’ll find your feet at the ends of your legs. You may care to move them,” she purred.
John hesitated then carefully put his hands on her hips. At first they were slightly awkward, unknowing of how the other moved their body; but then the song changed and the rhythm slowed, and suddenly they clicked. Their bodies slid together and their grip tightened, and suddenly their hips were rolling together and his hands were on the exposed skin of her back, and he abruptly realized that he didn’t want this night to end.
They danced until they noticed they were starving, nearly wrapped around each other by the end. Rose’s lips were resting centimeters from the skin of his neck and he swore he could feel the ghost of their touch. When he grew hard at that thought she didn’t shy away, merely pressed herself closer and slid against him.
They ordered greasy food and drinks that were far too expensive, but as they curled against each other in the booth and fed each other nachos and cheese sticks, he figured it was one of the better dinners he had ever had. They brushed fingers over lips and let hands wander, eyes dark and heavy with growing desire. They were too new for anything to happen, but as he pulled her close and swayed on the floor, he wished that they were as close emotionally as they were physically.
It was nearly three in the morning when they stumbled out, buzzed from alcohol and lust, and seeing her in the light of the streetlamp he wanted to pull her into the alley and snog her within an inch of her life. But despite the night’s progress, he was unsure if she would want that from him.
Rose took the matter out of this hands and pressed her lips to his, and before he knew it, he had her pressed against the wall of the club, her tongue teasing its way inside his mouth and he gave in. A groan issued from his throat and his hands gripped her tightly, and when they broke apart to breathe she immediately began to trail kisses along his jawline before latching onto his pulse point, nipping and sucking until the skin bruised.
John was seriously contemplating the alley and discovering just what that little white dress was hiding before she tugged him away and flagged down a taxi. He gulped in air and tried to calm down, reciting the periodic table backwards as the taxi pulled up to the curb. “Want to have dinner tomorrow?” he blurted out before she could leave. “There’s… there’s a chippy not far from campus that I think you would like.”
She smiled, softly, and nodded. “Yeah. I would like that. What time?”
His palms were clammy; surely she felt that? Her hand was gripped in his, after all. “Same time?”
“Yeah. Where do you want to meet?”
He pulled his mobile out of his coat pocket and quickly navigated to the contacts. “I could, er, call you?” John asked, hoping he hadn’t been to bold. “I’ll give you directions or we can just meet there.”
She took the phone from him and quickly entered in her number. “Call me tomorrow,” she smiled, then slid into the taxi. It wasn’t until she was out of his field of sight that he realized that the hand she had been holding was still suspended in air, as if she had never left.
~*~
Nearly a month passes and circumstances find him at Rose’s flat, the storm raging outside as she tries to dry her hair and he fixes tea. He’s long since stopped viewing her as ‘the heiress’ and simply sees her as Rose; she’s simply Rose, his friend.
Donna, of course, is determined to read into it. Despite him trying everything, she had seen the hickey and asked when the wedding was. He had never been more embarrassed.
“So, I was wondering,” Rose asked, casually, as he handed her the mug, “what was that about today at the store?”
He stiffened, even though he tried not to. Rose was trying to buy things for her newborn baby brother, and he had tagged along because he didn’t want to go back to his lonely flat. However, one of the outlets near the toys had overloaded, causing a small fire. It was quickly dealt with and cleaned up, but John had nearly frozen from fear and had to leave Rose abruptly, hands shaking.
John must have been silent for a lot longer than he thought because Rose gently laid a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she said, quietly. He looked at her. She looked concerned and worried, and he was struck by the fact that yes, he wanted to tell her. He hadn’t even told Donna, not directly, but Rose…
“My family died in a fire,” he said, quietly, avoiding her look and staring blankly where the rain pelted against the glass. “It was Christmas Eve. I was running late because I was in the middle of an ongoing research project. My parents had decided to re-do sections of the house, and I was asked if I knew anyone who would be willing to do the electrical work on short notice. I said I knew a few people and provided recommendations, but was unable to oversee the work myself due to my research.” He paused, then closed his eyes. “The man they hired to do the electrical work was done within two days, which should have tipped me off. But my research was reaching the end and I was wanting to get done before New Years, so I could celebrate with my family. An hour before the fire, my mother had called to tell me that she was going to put the leftovers in the fridge. I didn’t even thank her, and the call lasted a minute. By the time I got home, nearly the entire house was in flames. Turns out, the electrician had made a few shortcuts in his job, and the christmas lights overloaded the already fragile circuit. All my dad had to do was turn on the light switch, and it immediately caused an inferno. No one survived.”
It wasn’t until Rose removed the mug from his hands and pulled him to her that he realized he was crying. “It’s alright,” she whispered. “I’m here now. Let it out.”
And for the first time in nearly twelve years, he allowed himself to grieve.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered once he had finished, throat dry and feeling utterly exhausted.
She held him tighter. “I want to know everything about you, Doctor,” she whispered. “The good, the bad, the things that keep you up at night. But in your own time, understand?” She pressed a lingering kiss to his temple. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. No one deserves that pain.”
If John hadn’t been falling for her long before this point, her words would have sealed the deal.
~*~
“What’s going on?” he asked, Monday, when he saw Adam lurking outside his door.
“Professor Yana wanted an update on your progress,” Adam drawled, and John spied the dark mark on Adam’s neck; probably yet another conquest over the weekend, and probably a student, if Adam’s current attitude was anything to go by.
John unlocked his door. “You can tell Professor Yana that my dissertation is coming along as expected, and that it will be ready for review come Springtime,” he retorted. “I think you should be more worried about your own project; Martha informed me that you haven’t shown up in over a week. Professor Yana may be your grandfather, but even his word won’t carry much when you go in to defend your dissertation with only half your data and insufficient support.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed. “You were supposed to go in there last week and check on it! I can hack onto your computer and delete all your work, and then you’ll be stuck here along with me!”
“Adam,” John said, calmly, as he carefully placed a ceramic figure of a howling wolf on his desk- Rose had bought it for him on a whim last week- “You are a bright young man, and if you applied yourself more you would no doubt have more doors open then you can imagine. But you are arrogant, and manipulative, and it’s high time you realize that you can’t always have things your way.” He smiled. “Don’t think you’re the only computer genius in the room. I wrote the program for the Gallifrey project single-handedly, and I have backups of my dissertation in places that you will never find. Now, if you excuse me, I have papers to grade and office hours are starting soon.”
Adam glared, but left. John sighed and rubbed his temples. He missed working at Arcadia, missed working with his team and missed the excitement of working on his theories. He had been the youngest, but had spearheaded the project that had made such an enormous impact on physics and astronomy. If he hadn’t left there was no doubt in his mind that he would have been in the running for a nobel prize.
He stared at the little ceramic wolf. Then again, maybe leaving had been the right thing to do, John thought. If he had stayed in Ireland then he would have never met Rose. And if he had never met Rose, he wouldn’t be feeling like his life had gained sense and meaning once more. He could always return to the Gallifrey project- but meeting Rose was a once in a lifetime chance.
John smiled. He may have been terrified of getting close to her, once upon a time, but now…now, it was a miracle he was quite keen on keeping.
~*~
He was on his way to meet Donna for lunch when Rose rang him. Smiling, he dug his mobile out of his pocket and answered. “Hello.”
“Hello. You got a minute?”
“Yeah, think so. I’m meeting a friend for lunch but she won’t mind waiting. What’s up?” Up ahead he saw Donna through the window, and he hurried across the street where the warm restaurant awaited.
“Well, my friends wanted to meet you, and I thought you’d want to as well?” She was slightly hesitant, but hopeful; his heart pounded when he realized what this meant, that she liked him enough, deemed him important enough, to meet people who mattered to her.
He realized that he had frozen in the street, and quickly got on the sidewalk. “I… I would love to, yeah,” he replied. “When and where?”
“What about that chippy down the road from my flat this Thursday? Maybe around five?” She asked, and he could hear her smile.
John couldn’t quite contain his, either. “That… that would be perfect,” he replied. “I’ll see you there.”
They ended the call with slightly giddy goodbyes, and he plopped down in the chair in front of Donna in a daze. “She wants me to meet her friends,” he explained at her questioning look.
She grinned. “About time! So when am I gonna meet her?”
“Let’s see how the meeting on Thursday goes first,” he said, and Donna smirked before waving down their waitress.
~*~
He cursed the universe as the taxi pulled up to the chippy, and he grabbed his briefcase before practically tossing the money at the cabbie. Classes had run late and the students were more persistent than usual, and there had been no time for the walk back to his flat to retrieve his car, even if he decided to brave the rain. Luckily he had dressed up for the staff meeting that day, even if his suit was blue and not his customary brown.
He was able to spot Rose with little difficulty, though her back was to the window. He slid across from her, smiling as she jumped. “Lovely weather we’re having,” he teased. “Though I understand why, keeping a beauty such as yourself indoors must make even the sun sad.”
Rose laughed. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Got you to smile, though,” he observed. “You looked… worried.”
She swallowed. “My baby brother was hospitalized last night when he stopped breathing. He was saved, but they’re keeping him for a few days for observation.”
Concerned, he covered her hand with his own. “We can cancel, you know. You need to spend time with your family. It can’t be easy, worrying about it.”
“No, the doctor assured us that he’ll get through it, but…” Rose shook her head. “I already love him so much and… it scared me.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, it’s a bit of a shock to see the blue. I was beginning to think that you only wore brown.”
He allowed her to change the subject because he understood the avoidance tactic all too well. “Had a meeting this morning, and good thing too; I didn’t have time to change and you wouldn’t think me nearly so dashing in my usual attire,” he sniffed, adjusting the tie.
Rose smiled. “Dunno. I think you’d look dead sexy in jeans.”
He flushed slightly but brightened. “Oh! I almost forgot.” He bent to rifle through his briefcase before pulling out a journal. He hesitated, slightly, before turning back to her. “You once said that you wanted to get to know me,” he said quietly. “You… you know I’m not very good with words.” He placed the journal between them. “This is the journal I kept after my family died,” he said quietly. “If… if you want to read the others, that’s fine, but…” he swallowed. “That contains all the memories I don’t want to remember. They’re yours, now… if you want them.”
For a long time, Rose was quiet. “John, I…”
She was interrupted by a man that John instantly recognized as Mickey. “Hello, babe,” he said, sliding into the booth beside her and draping an arm over her shoulders. Startled, they both stared at him. “You left this morning before I could say goodbye. Should have figured you’d be here,” he chuckled.
John stared at them, a sick feeling rising in his stomach. Of course. Mickey Smith, her beau. He had all but forgotten about the man since the day he had looked Rose up online, but now…of course. They were dating while she had been seeing him. He had never felt so used. Betrayed.
“Mickey,” Rose was saying. “What are you…?” She was cut off when he kissed her.
Something in him snapped, and John stood abruptly. “Right. Well. Sorry about that, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your…” he gestured at them. “Tell your friends sorry, but I won’t be able to meet them today. You’ll probably have a good laugh about it anyway.” He turned away from Rose’s wide-eyed expression and looked out the nearby window. “I hope you two have a long and happy life together. I just hope the next time you crash into some unsuspecting stranger you don’t play with his heart.” He stopped to grab his briefcase and all but ran from the chippy.
Rose called out after him, but he didn’t stop. He was nearly all the way back to the flat, the taxi parked at a red light, when he realized that he had left his journal.
For a moment he was tempted to ask for it back, but finally decided that it wasn’t worth it. Worse thing she could do was read it, and he’d already told her- cried to her- about the worse day of his life. He didn’t want her pity or her charity, and she would, more than likely, throw it away.
Which was fine by him. That day in her flat only hardened his resolve that re-visiting those memories would bring nothing but heartache. Better to go forward and never look back.
John wasn’t surprised to find Donna waiting for him. “How’d it go?” She asked, excitedly.
He brushed past her on his way to his bedroom. “Her boyfriend showed up, and she didn’t push him away. She’s just like all the others.”
It didn’t take long before Donna overcame her surprise, but nothing she said from the other side of the door would make him leave. Finally, she left, and only then did he gave into his emotions; soon the sound of breaking glass filled the small flat, and only when every last cheap ceramic dish was flung at the wall did he finally break down and cry.
~*~
He flung himself into work, once again staying up at all hours of the night and not even complaining when Adam, Yana, and occasionally Jack gave him more things to do. He even gave his students more assignments, desperately clinging to anything that would take his mind off Rose.
The ceramic wolf had been stashed in the back of one of his drawers. He hated himself for it but he couldn’t throw it away, but he couldn’t look at it, either. He even avoided Donna, knowing that she would want to talk and he wanted to do anything but. Since Rose and Donna were the only ones who ever called his cell, he kept it off and shut away in his nightstand; his fellow faculty members were sent an email saying that he had lost his phone and that a new one wouldn’t be in for another month.
It was dangerously close to how he acted when he had lost his family, because in that dark moment as he sat amid the shards of ceramic, he finally admitted to himself that he loved her.
~*~
“You look like shit.”
He didn’t look up from the papers. “Thank you, Donna.”
“When was the last time you showered? Ate? Saw sunlight?”
“Night before last, dinner last night, and the last time it stopped raining,” he replied blandly. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
She leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Lee is covering for me. If I didn’t know any better, I would expect you to be crying into a tub of ice cream.”
“Ran out last week and haven’t had time to go shopping,” he replied sarcastically. “Now do you mind? I have thirty tests to grade by tomorrow and you’re blocking my light.”
Donna scowled. “You can’t keep going like this, John. Have you tried talking to her? Maybe she’ll explain herself.”
“She explained herself well and good when Rickey snogged her in front of me,” he replied coldly. “Seriously, Donna, I need that light.”
She moved, but that only served for her to sit down on the couch next to him. “John, you weren’t nearly this bad after Renee,” she said softly. “That woman used you for the fortune you got after sueing the electrician, and though I knew you were fond of her it was nothing like this. What happened?”
He closed his eyes. “I love her, Donna. I went and fell in love with her and she was only using me. Out of pity or some…some strange act of rebellion I don’t know, but I was her bit on the side while she continued with her boyfriend. The first thing he said to her was that she left that morning without saying goodbye. And I’m not to judge anyone’s love life but the fact that she kissed me that night at the club and probably went straight home and slept with him…” he took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter now. The semester is nearly over and I have work to do. We can hash this out in as much detail as you like over Christmas.”
Donna was quiet for a long time. “You were a better man with her,” she finally said. “I don’t think I ever saw you smile as much than when you were talking to her or about her. Any woman who can bring out that transformation cannot be bad.” She stood and laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for what she did, John, but don’t turn back into the man you were before her. I got my best friend back for those few months and I don’t want to say goodbye to him again.”
He stared at the same paper for the next hour, thoughts whirling.
~*~
When the constant cloud coverage and sporadic rainfalls finally broke, it was like a sigh of relief swept through the whole campus. His class was filled more than usual, and as he explained the rudimentary basics of quantum mechanics and string theory, John found himself cautiously optimistic. This was probably the last day of sunshine and clear streets before snow started falling, but he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.
So he was a bit startled when, fifteen minutes before class let out, the door nearly slammed open and revealed an annoyed Rose Tyler, Adam trailing along behind her, looking sour.
He dropped his dry erase marker he was so surprised. “What’s going on?” he asked, suddenly keenly aware that he was wearing his oldest pair of blue jeans, ratty trainers, and a hoodie with the Arcadia Observatory logo on it.
“You haven’t returned my calls,” she said, crossing her arms.
He forced himself to look at Adam. “Why’d you allow her in here? That door is supposed to be locked!”
Adam glared. “She made friends with the janitor. He gave the key to her.”
John sighed. “I’m in the middle of a lecture. Whatever this is about, it can wait until after.” He bent to retrieve his marker. “Adam, will you show her to my office? I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”
Rose looked ready to protest but finally gave in. When the left he let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “Anyway. As I was saying before we were interrupted…”
It was a losing battle, his students curiosity far outweighing their interest in his lecture, and he let them go five minutes later when it was clear they were too busy speculating over what had happened. He gave them homework problems out of spite, but that small victory did nothing to relieve the tension coiling within him.
He spent the twelve minutes he would have normally spent in class pacing outside the hallway leading to his office, wondering what she was going to say and how he could be expected to respond. The fact that Rose had shown up today, in his class of all places, made the hope he had thought long dead hesitantly return. Rose being here was a sign, right? Maybe she felt sorry for what she did and wanted to apologize. Or maybe- he swallowed- maybe she was here to buy him off or something so he wouldn’t take his story to the papers. The thought had never crossed his mind, of course, but still…who knew how heiresses thought?
Finally, when he knew he couldn’t waste any more time, he took a deep breath and slowly walked towards his office door. He couldn’t hear anything on the other side, and figured she was either reading one of his books or using the telescope; how often had he imagined her doing that very thing not too long ago, waiting on him to finish with classes so they could walk back to his flat, hand-in-hand? How often had he wished that he wasn’t scared to tell her his name, scared that she wouldn’t like John Smith as much as she loved the Doctor?
John steeled himself and pushed open the door.
Rose was, in fact, staring at the star chart, her fingers tracing the route of Orion. He quickly averted his eyes before she turned, squeezing around the door and closing it. He sat on his side of the desk, needing the space, before he finally looked up at her.
They regarded each other for a long moment. “How’d you find me?” he asked, finally.
“Cell number,” she replied. “Once I realized that you were avoiding me, I looked you up. Took a bit of digging but it wasn’t hard to find the only John Smith in the Physics department. It’s a rubbish name, by the way. No wonder you insisted on being called the Doctor.”
He looked away to shuffle some papers. “You were the only one who got that honor,” he muttered.
“I know. Kept getting weird looks and asked for clarification when I asked for directions to your office,” she said. “It was that student who finally told me your classroom, although he was rather angry to find out you were the one I was looking for.”
Despite himself he smiled. “Adam’s getting his masters. If you called him a student it’s a sure-fire way to get him angry.”
She looked thoughtful. “That might have done it, actually.” Then she leveled her gaze at him. “But I’m still mad at you for ignoring me.”
“I’m more angry at you for leading me on when you had Mickey,” he ground out, finally meeting her eyes. “Thought I was doing you a favor by staying away.”
Rose sighed. “Oh, John. I thought you knew. For a genius, you’re so incredibly stupid.” He bristled, but she simply walked over and around his desk, leaning against it. “Mickey is my cover. The tabloids became interested in my love life early on, so Mickey agreed to be my chaperone so that I could have some modicum of privacy. That day at the chippy he saw your journal and thought you were a pushy journalist trying to get a story. Trust me, after I realized you were gone I let ‘im have it. He was feeling that slap for days.”
He refused to fall for it. “How am I supposed to trust you?” He finally asked.
“Because you know me,” she finally said, softly, then crouched in front of him. “John, we both kept secrets from each other, accidentally or intentionally, and it was wrong. I’m here now to ask for a second go. Can you promise to trust me and believe that I’m not lying to you, and can you promise to let me get to know the real you this time?”
John stared down at her, emotions warring within him. He wanted to believe her, desperately wanted back the happy days he had spent with her…but the pain and heartache he had felt when Mickey had kissed her still lingered. What it all boiled down to, however, was if he was willing to put his heart at risk once again.
Before he could say one way or another, however, Rose suddenly brightened and stood. “Wait!” she said, “Just…just wait.” She hurried over to the small table, leaving him reeling, and dug through her bag. “You said in your journal that you didn’t have any pictures left of your parents,” she said. “I would have found you earlier, but I wanted to give you this before I did.” She pulled out a frame, and turned back to him. “Turns out, your parents were good friends with my great-aunt Sarah’s first husband. He went to their wedding.” She handed him the frame. “He was happy to part with it when he learned where it was going.”
There, in black and white, were a picture of his parents on their wedding day. He knew this picture intimately- a larger portrait had hung above the fireplace in the main living room- but he had never received a copy. “How…” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “How did he have this?”
“He was the photographer for their wedding,” Rose said quietly. “He still kept all his old film from when he first started out, and since the Smiths were good friends of his he couldn’t part with it. There…there are more pictures of your family. Not many, but…I know he would be happy to give you his copies.”
“I had forgotten about him,” John said quietly, blinking back his tears. “I used to hate sitting for all those formal pictures, but my parents insisted. I never even thought to find him and see if he still kept copies.”
He hadn’t noticed her joining him on his side of the desk, but he suddenly became all too aware of her hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” she asked.
John looked up at her, more vulnerable than he had ever allowed anyone to see, but for the first time in his life things made sense. “I am so long as you are there,” he finally said.
When she hugged him, it felt like coming home.
~*~
“How long can you stay?” he asked, as they curled up on his couch.
“Until midnight,” she admitted. “I have an early flight to a conference in Berlin. But after I get back, it’ll be for as long as you will have me.”
He tightened his grip. “You better not get tired of me, because I plan to be with you for a long, long time.”
“Good,” she whispered, before her lips met his. “Because I was thinking the same exact thing.”
Rating: K
Summary: A chance encounter with heiress Rose Tyler starts John Smith, a TA with a controlling professor and two free-loading colleagues, down a road he never thought he deserved.
A/N: Written for crocophant for strange_charmed's 2013 secret santa fic exchange on Tumblr!
Thanks to rudennotginger for the beta!
“Mr. Smith! Mr. Smith, wait up!”
John closed his eyes and let out a sigh, before turning and plastering on a smile to the running student. “Nolan. Enjoying your weekend?”
The boy puffed a bit before nodding. “I was actually just on my way to ask you about chapter five. I’ve been studying, but the homework makes no sense.”
“My office hours are posted on my door, and any further hours require an appointment,” John reminded him yet again. “There’s tutoring available if you need it.”
“But they don’t help!” Nolan complained. “And I was supposed to meet up with Mr. Mitchell, but he was with another student and told me to come to you!”
John bit back a groan. Of course. “Was the student female?”
Nolan paused. “Er, yes. But it was a different subject and…”
“Never mind,” John interrupted. “Just remember what I said in class- everything you need is on the formula sheet I passed out on the first day. Just look at what numbers you have, what numbers you need, and then compare it to that sheet.”
Though disappointed, the boy finally relented and wandered off. John knew he shouldn’t have come into the office today. As one of three TA’s for Professor Yana, his time was already taken up by teaching, grading, and working on his dissertation; he didn’t need Adam Mitchell trying to once again foist work upon him.
However, he did need to finish grading the tests, and his flat was simply too…empty to get work done in. His office on campus was small, but was located in one of the oldest buildings and had character. The wood-panelled walls and thick glass window looked like something out of a history book, but he loved it.
He opened the door and carefully squeezed through, the bookcase on his right and the desk on his left providing a narrow pathway. The room opened up a bit after that, allowing for a round table and a few chairs where he typically sat when helping students, but all other surfaces were covered in books, papers, and instruments. A telescope was pointed out of the one window, and a chart showing the orbit of the planets was hung on the wall nearby.
One more year, he thought. And then I’ll finally be done.
He placed his briefcase down, took out the papers, and started to work.
~*~
Jack crashed into his room around lunchtime. “Johnny!” he said happily, throwing himself into one of the chairs. “Listen, buddy, I know you’re busy, but do you think you can take over my tutoring session Tuesday?”
“I’ve covered all of them for the past two months, Jack,” John reminded him. “If you were getting paid I’d have already complained.”
Jack pouted. “Please? By this point you might as well be their tutor; you know them better than I do!”
He sighed. “Fine. But that means I can’t help you on your research, you know.”
The man paused, but finally nodded. “Fine. Thanks, Johnny.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Jack winked and left, leaving John to nurse his developing headache. Not for the first time, he regretted getting his third masters, or at least stayed with the University of Edinburgh; he had learned from one of his uni mates that Christina had left within a year because of family troubles. Since she had been the reason he left, it was an annoyance to discover that sticking it out would have paid off. Too late now, of course; he was firmly entrenched in his current program, and transferring now would be too much of a hassle.
Then again, it would prevent Adam, Jack, and even Professor Yana from taking advantage of him. He wasn’t entirely sure when he had become their scapegoat, but now he was quite used to covering for all three… or doing the dirty work. Professor Yana was brilliant, but moral he was not.
The star chart on the far wall caught his eye, and he stared at it for a long moment. He wanted to travel the world, see things that a photograph couldn’t adequately capture, experience moments that took his breath away. He wanted to see the world, not just study it with numbers and theories through instruments and microscopes.
John sighed and went back to grading. It was that mindset that had created all his problems; it was safer with his books and his numbers.
~*~
He typically wore his suit to tutoring. He wasn’t entirely sure why, since his normal attire was jeans and a graphic tee, but it had started due to a communication error and he had continued on a whim. It gave him character, and the students seemed to be amused by it.
Jack was a political science major with a minor in mathematics, which is why Professor Yana had agreed to take him on. John had to do a bit of learning on the fly in order to help the kids Jack had been assigned, but he had been doing well so far. There had been no complaints, at least so far, and he really did enjoy it.
So, dressed in a brown suit with blue pinstripes, he gathered up his books and headed across town.
His flat was a brisk twenty minute walk to campus, which was enjoyable in the summer but not so much in the fall. Luckily the rain seemed to be holding, and he avoided the puddles expertly. Still, he wore his coat just in case.
John was passing in front of a tailor’s shop, carefully balancing his books, when the door opened and the person passing through ran into him. He yelped, the books crashing to the ground and the person- woman, rather, from what he could feel pressing into him- nearly knocked him over if it weren’t for the phone booth. “Sorry, sorry!” The woman exclaimed, staggering as she juggled a garment bag.
“I’m ok,” he wheezed, having rammed into the phone booth a bit harder than expected. They righted themselves and he stared at his books in dismay, since they had landed in a large puddle. “My books aren’t though.” He bent over and began collecting them again, shaking them futilely.
“Let me help.” She crouched down nearby, and soon they had the books gathered.
He stood, noticing that she had hooked the hanger on the top of the phone booth. It was sheltered from the wind so it wouldn’t fall off, and he admired her quick thinking for a moment before turning back to her. “Thanks,” he said, shifting the books so he could take the others.
She was smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but think she looked oddly familiar. Honey-blonde hair, brown eyes with flecks of gold, and full lips that…no. He had just met her. Ever since the fire…
“No problem,” she replied, and carefully handed over his possessions. “You sure you got that?”
He internally shook himself and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Do this every week. I’m sure the books won’t be too damaged…besides, I have some in worse conditions that I can still read.”
“The sign of a good book,” she agreed. “Anyway, sorry once again. Hope you have a good day.”
“You too,” he replied, and watched her as she retrieved her dress and walked in the opposite direction, hips swaying. Ten years ago he would have been chasing after her for her number, but he had changed since then. With a sigh, he turned back to continue his walk.
Had he stayed, he would have seen her turn back to look at him, too.
~*~
Yana knew John hated social functions, so he went out of his way to ensure that John would attend one in lieu of Yana himself. If John’s future didn’t hang on the man so much, he would have put his foot down ages ago.
And while it did give him some more contacts (not that he was lacking in those; the Gallifrey project had opened a lot of doors), he never promised to stay the entire time. Once the speeches concluded he typically charmed one of the kitchen staff to give him a bag of nibbles and he dashed.
He arrived thirty minutes late, as usual, dressed once more in his brown suit. A few members of the faculty that recognized him said hello, but most of the people were chair members of the various boards. Yana had instructed him to ‘suck up and get more money’, but one quick look told him that most of the attendees were attached to the college of business, or the college of arts and letters. No one would be particularly interested in physics.
During the break between speeches, he slipped outside to the balcony, a glass of champagne dangling loosely in his hand. Jessica from catering had already promised him a bag of the banana canapes, so after the next five awards he was free.
Somewhere below him there came a scuffle and a soft “bugger!” as someone stumbled onto the path. John was surprised to see the woman who had knocked him over two weeks ago, wearing a shimmery blue dress and swearing at her heels. He smiled. “Heels are dangerous, you know. As a concerned citizen, I’m recommending you wear flats.”
She smiled but didn’t look up at him as she readjusted the straps. “Trust me, I would happily take your advice, but unfortunately I didn’t choose the dress.” Once her shoes were once more situated comfortably she looked up at him. “Did your books turn up all right?”
He shrugged. “Bit wrinkled, but I can still read them. Is that the dress you were carrying?”
“Yeah, actually.” She grinned, pleased.
“You look beautiful,” he admitted, honestly, and due to the night shadows he was unsure if he imagined her blush or not.
He found some stairs and quickly joined her down in the hotel’s garden, offering her his arm and guiding her to a stone bench. “So, what department are you here for?” he asked, as she adjusted her skirt.
“I’m here for my father, actually,” she admitted. “My mum’s pregnant and ready to pop, and he’s been fussing over her. I volunteered to come so he wouldn’t be blowing up the phone all night checking in on her.”
He smiled wryly. “What a coincidence. I’m filling in for someone too. He told me to make a good impression and mooch money off the rich and wealthy, however.” He rolled his eyes and she laughed.
“Well, I’m sure the rich and wealthy will be happy to support… what department are you in?” She asked, curiously.
“Physics,” he replied.
“They will be happy to support physics,” she continued. “Anyway, looks like it’s starting again. Try to stay awake, yeah?”
He smiled and helped her up. “Only if you do,” he replied.
“I make no promises,” she said cheekily.
They go their separate ways when they get indoors, and he zones out until the announcer calls up Rose Tyler- he perks up slightly, wondering what the Vitex Heiress is doing there, of all places- and stares in a mix of horror and intrigue as the very familiar woman gets up on stage. And he had just admitted to being there only for money…oh, stars, what was he thinking?
Rose was presenting an award to some benefactor, thanking them for their loyal service throughout the years and the donations to help fund the research that kept the University at the top. He sank down in his chair, attempting to hide behind the couple in front of him, hoping that her eyes wouldn’t pass over him.
Despite his best efforts to hide she caught him as he was fleeing the party, the bag of canapes in one hand. “You didn’t fall asleep, did you?” She teased, looking stunning in her gown. He swallowed.
“No, no I didn’t.” he replied. “Especially not during your speech. Can’t remember what the award was about, but you were by far the most attractive speaker tonight.” John cursed himself silently. He had a tendency to flirt with women automatically, and it landed him in hot water more often than not. Rose, however, was a rich, accomplished woman who would never even give him the time of day, and was only being nice; she didn’t need the likes of him fawning over her.
Rose looked pointedly around the room at the older men that were in attendance, but smiled. “Thank you. I never got your name, by the way.”
He hesitated. “You can call me… the Doctor.” It was a silly whim, really, and a futile attempt to disguise himself. She didn’t need a lowly TA who had blood on his hands. He also needed to stop assuming that she was interested in him like that; from the few magazines he had read, she had a steady boyfriend by the name of Mickey, and they were probably happy together.
“That supposed to sound impressive?” She laughed.
“A bit,” he said, slightly wounded. “I have three of them, you know.”
She looked intrigued. “Really?”
“Linguistics, engineering, and history,” he replied, preening a little. “Bit of a genius, me.”
Rose smirked at him. “Not at all humble, are you?”
“I worked hard for them, might as well wear the title proudly,” he shrugged. “But if my brains don’t do it for you, what skills do I need to show you to impress, Miss Rose Tyler?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Rose sipped at her champagne, eyeing him from head to toe and lingering in places that caused him to flush slightly. “Depends, Doctor. You got the brains, but do you have the moves?” she sashayed by him, pausing to whisper in his ear, “Full Moon, next tuesday at six. Tell them I sent you.” She walked off, hips swaying, and he watched, mesmerized.
He had promised himself that he wouldn’t get close to another person again. But oh, Rose Tyler was pushing his resolve. And he knew that the fall would be a glorious torment.
~*~
Yana must have somehow found out that John was slacking at the party, because he found the man waiting for him in his office on Monday and proceeded to give him twice as much work. John gritted his teeth and promised to have it done by Wednesday.
Hours later, as he was busy grading term papers, his door slammed open and an irate red-head glared down at him. “Oi, spaceman! You were supposed to meet me for lunch!”
John startled and looked at the clock, wincing when he realized he had worked through his lunch date. “Sorry, Donna. Yana gave me more work and I need to get it done.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re always happy to leave it to the last minute. Why is today any different?”
John fidgeted. “I…have to keep him happy, you know that.”
“You’re an awful liar, John. I’m your best friend, I know that look. Now spill.”
He sighed. “I might have a date on Tuesday that I need to go to, and so I need to get this done beforehand.”
Donna looked gobsmacked before smiling slowly. “It’s about time. Ever since Renee…”
“It’s not like that,” he interrupted, glaring at her. “I won’t let it be like that. We’re meeting at a club, as friends, and that’s all there is to it.” He began marking the paper in front of him with harsh, angry red lines.
Donna was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I’m happy you’re moving on, you know. The fire wasn’t your fault, and you’re wasted here. What happened to the Gallifrey project? You know they would gladly take you back. The Kasterborous Theory hasn’t made any progress since you left.”
He shook his head. “It’s safe here, Donna. And besides, I like learning. At least here I can make a difference, help students understand what they need to learn to succeed in their chosen field. And once I complete my doctoral studies I can become a professor full-time; Harvard has been after me since the beginning, and Boston isn’t that much different from London.”
“It’s America,” Donna said, rolling her eyes. “It’s practically another planet. So anyway, what’s her name?”
He ignored her, scrawling out a comment on the unlucky student’s essay. Once she realized that he was going to be stubborn, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. I ordered lunch for you once I realized you weren’t going to show. Should I call gramps and let him know you won’t be coming to dinner?”
“Yes, thanks. I’ll probably be here late. Tell your mum I’ll be ‘round Thursday to fix the washer.”
They made small talk as Donna made sure he ate, carrying the conversation as she told him what her family had been up to while he graded papers. When she mentioned Lee, a co-worker of hers, had asked her out last week, he perked up a bit and started engaging in the conversation. By the time Donna left she had successfully distracted him from thoughts of Rose and whatever their relationship was, and by the time he left campus he had finished quite a sizeable portion of the essays.
John managed to distract himself from thoughts of his date that night, staying longer than usual after class to answer questions, throwing himself into grading the essays Yana had left him and his own student’s homework. He even worked on Adam’s research project with a minimum amount of annoyance when he called in sick, but from his tone of voice was merely hungover. Since all John had to do was work on his final thesis, it was a bit of a relief to finally work with actual equipment again.
And then five o’clock came, and he suddenly found himself locking up his office.
He hesitated for a while outside his door, wondering what on earth he was doing and telling himself to go back inside and finish grading. She was probably going to stand him up, he told himself. She got carried away that night- they both did- but she woke up the next morning wondering what had possessed her, or more than likely forgot about it entirely.
Finally he ran his hand through his hair and headed towards his flat. Worse case scenario she didn’t show up, and he wouldn’t have to worry about her getting past his walls. Actually, worse case scenario she DID show up, and he ended up doing something he was supposed to never do again.
He really was in trouble.
~*~
As promised, he was ushered inside and sat a private table, overlooking the main dance floor. Despite it being a bit nicer than most clubs he had frequented in his youth, the lights and music were the same, and despite himself he was nodding along to the beat.
Since he was watching the crowd he didn’t notice Rose approaching, so he was surprised when she slid into the booth beside him. “Do you ever wear anything else?” She asked, gesturing at his brown pinstripe trousers and blue oxford.
“I took off the jacket and tie,” he protested.
She raised her eyebrows. “It’s a club, Doctor. You’re going to get sweaty.”
“Good thing I have a vest,” he replied, watching her reaction from his periphery as he tried to locate the bar. Her face had gone a little slack, but she quickly shook herself.
She stood, and it was his turn to gulp.
In the shadows of the booth he hadn’t been able to see her attire, but now that he had it was difficult to look away. She was wearing a thin, strapless white dress that barely covered her hips, and black heels that accentuated her long legs. A plain black necklace was the only jewelry she was wearing, and her hair was curled and pinned with a few wisps framing her face. She was… glorious. And staring at him with a knowing look.
He hastily closed his mouth and cleared his throat. “You look nice,” he finally said, lamely, after his brain flopped about instead of thinking of a compliment.
Rose grinned and grabbed his hand, hauling him up. “Come on. You got the moves? Show me your moves.”
“Well,” he drawled, as he followed her to the dance floor, “I’ve got the moves but I wouldn’t want to boast.”
They were absorbed by the bodies already packed onto the floor, and Rose looped her arms loosely around his shoulders. “You’ll find your feet at the ends of your legs. You may care to move them,” she purred.
John hesitated then carefully put his hands on her hips. At first they were slightly awkward, unknowing of how the other moved their body; but then the song changed and the rhythm slowed, and suddenly they clicked. Their bodies slid together and their grip tightened, and suddenly their hips were rolling together and his hands were on the exposed skin of her back, and he abruptly realized that he didn’t want this night to end.
They danced until they noticed they were starving, nearly wrapped around each other by the end. Rose’s lips were resting centimeters from the skin of his neck and he swore he could feel the ghost of their touch. When he grew hard at that thought she didn’t shy away, merely pressed herself closer and slid against him.
They ordered greasy food and drinks that were far too expensive, but as they curled against each other in the booth and fed each other nachos and cheese sticks, he figured it was one of the better dinners he had ever had. They brushed fingers over lips and let hands wander, eyes dark and heavy with growing desire. They were too new for anything to happen, but as he pulled her close and swayed on the floor, he wished that they were as close emotionally as they were physically.
It was nearly three in the morning when they stumbled out, buzzed from alcohol and lust, and seeing her in the light of the streetlamp he wanted to pull her into the alley and snog her within an inch of her life. But despite the night’s progress, he was unsure if she would want that from him.
Rose took the matter out of this hands and pressed her lips to his, and before he knew it, he had her pressed against the wall of the club, her tongue teasing its way inside his mouth and he gave in. A groan issued from his throat and his hands gripped her tightly, and when they broke apart to breathe she immediately began to trail kisses along his jawline before latching onto his pulse point, nipping and sucking until the skin bruised.
John was seriously contemplating the alley and discovering just what that little white dress was hiding before she tugged him away and flagged down a taxi. He gulped in air and tried to calm down, reciting the periodic table backwards as the taxi pulled up to the curb. “Want to have dinner tomorrow?” he blurted out before she could leave. “There’s… there’s a chippy not far from campus that I think you would like.”
She smiled, softly, and nodded. “Yeah. I would like that. What time?”
His palms were clammy; surely she felt that? Her hand was gripped in his, after all. “Same time?”
“Yeah. Where do you want to meet?”
He pulled his mobile out of his coat pocket and quickly navigated to the contacts. “I could, er, call you?” John asked, hoping he hadn’t been to bold. “I’ll give you directions or we can just meet there.”
She took the phone from him and quickly entered in her number. “Call me tomorrow,” she smiled, then slid into the taxi. It wasn’t until she was out of his field of sight that he realized that the hand she had been holding was still suspended in air, as if she had never left.
~*~
Nearly a month passes and circumstances find him at Rose’s flat, the storm raging outside as she tries to dry her hair and he fixes tea. He’s long since stopped viewing her as ‘the heiress’ and simply sees her as Rose; she’s simply Rose, his friend.
Donna, of course, is determined to read into it. Despite him trying everything, she had seen the hickey and asked when the wedding was. He had never been more embarrassed.
“So, I was wondering,” Rose asked, casually, as he handed her the mug, “what was that about today at the store?”
He stiffened, even though he tried not to. Rose was trying to buy things for her newborn baby brother, and he had tagged along because he didn’t want to go back to his lonely flat. However, one of the outlets near the toys had overloaded, causing a small fire. It was quickly dealt with and cleaned up, but John had nearly frozen from fear and had to leave Rose abruptly, hands shaking.
John must have been silent for a lot longer than he thought because Rose gently laid a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she said, quietly. He looked at her. She looked concerned and worried, and he was struck by the fact that yes, he wanted to tell her. He hadn’t even told Donna, not directly, but Rose…
“My family died in a fire,” he said, quietly, avoiding her look and staring blankly where the rain pelted against the glass. “It was Christmas Eve. I was running late because I was in the middle of an ongoing research project. My parents had decided to re-do sections of the house, and I was asked if I knew anyone who would be willing to do the electrical work on short notice. I said I knew a few people and provided recommendations, but was unable to oversee the work myself due to my research.” He paused, then closed his eyes. “The man they hired to do the electrical work was done within two days, which should have tipped me off. But my research was reaching the end and I was wanting to get done before New Years, so I could celebrate with my family. An hour before the fire, my mother had called to tell me that she was going to put the leftovers in the fridge. I didn’t even thank her, and the call lasted a minute. By the time I got home, nearly the entire house was in flames. Turns out, the electrician had made a few shortcuts in his job, and the christmas lights overloaded the already fragile circuit. All my dad had to do was turn on the light switch, and it immediately caused an inferno. No one survived.”
It wasn’t until Rose removed the mug from his hands and pulled him to her that he realized he was crying. “It’s alright,” she whispered. “I’m here now. Let it out.”
And for the first time in nearly twelve years, he allowed himself to grieve.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered once he had finished, throat dry and feeling utterly exhausted.
She held him tighter. “I want to know everything about you, Doctor,” she whispered. “The good, the bad, the things that keep you up at night. But in your own time, understand?” She pressed a lingering kiss to his temple. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. No one deserves that pain.”
If John hadn’t been falling for her long before this point, her words would have sealed the deal.
~*~
“What’s going on?” he asked, Monday, when he saw Adam lurking outside his door.
“Professor Yana wanted an update on your progress,” Adam drawled, and John spied the dark mark on Adam’s neck; probably yet another conquest over the weekend, and probably a student, if Adam’s current attitude was anything to go by.
John unlocked his door. “You can tell Professor Yana that my dissertation is coming along as expected, and that it will be ready for review come Springtime,” he retorted. “I think you should be more worried about your own project; Martha informed me that you haven’t shown up in over a week. Professor Yana may be your grandfather, but even his word won’t carry much when you go in to defend your dissertation with only half your data and insufficient support.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed. “You were supposed to go in there last week and check on it! I can hack onto your computer and delete all your work, and then you’ll be stuck here along with me!”
“Adam,” John said, calmly, as he carefully placed a ceramic figure of a howling wolf on his desk- Rose had bought it for him on a whim last week- “You are a bright young man, and if you applied yourself more you would no doubt have more doors open then you can imagine. But you are arrogant, and manipulative, and it’s high time you realize that you can’t always have things your way.” He smiled. “Don’t think you’re the only computer genius in the room. I wrote the program for the Gallifrey project single-handedly, and I have backups of my dissertation in places that you will never find. Now, if you excuse me, I have papers to grade and office hours are starting soon.”
Adam glared, but left. John sighed and rubbed his temples. He missed working at Arcadia, missed working with his team and missed the excitement of working on his theories. He had been the youngest, but had spearheaded the project that had made such an enormous impact on physics and astronomy. If he hadn’t left there was no doubt in his mind that he would have been in the running for a nobel prize.
He stared at the little ceramic wolf. Then again, maybe leaving had been the right thing to do, John thought. If he had stayed in Ireland then he would have never met Rose. And if he had never met Rose, he wouldn’t be feeling like his life had gained sense and meaning once more. He could always return to the Gallifrey project- but meeting Rose was a once in a lifetime chance.
John smiled. He may have been terrified of getting close to her, once upon a time, but now…now, it was a miracle he was quite keen on keeping.
~*~
He was on his way to meet Donna for lunch when Rose rang him. Smiling, he dug his mobile out of his pocket and answered. “Hello.”
“Hello. You got a minute?”
“Yeah, think so. I’m meeting a friend for lunch but she won’t mind waiting. What’s up?” Up ahead he saw Donna through the window, and he hurried across the street where the warm restaurant awaited.
“Well, my friends wanted to meet you, and I thought you’d want to as well?” She was slightly hesitant, but hopeful; his heart pounded when he realized what this meant, that she liked him enough, deemed him important enough, to meet people who mattered to her.
He realized that he had frozen in the street, and quickly got on the sidewalk. “I… I would love to, yeah,” he replied. “When and where?”
“What about that chippy down the road from my flat this Thursday? Maybe around five?” She asked, and he could hear her smile.
John couldn’t quite contain his, either. “That… that would be perfect,” he replied. “I’ll see you there.”
They ended the call with slightly giddy goodbyes, and he plopped down in the chair in front of Donna in a daze. “She wants me to meet her friends,” he explained at her questioning look.
She grinned. “About time! So when am I gonna meet her?”
“Let’s see how the meeting on Thursday goes first,” he said, and Donna smirked before waving down their waitress.
~*~
He cursed the universe as the taxi pulled up to the chippy, and he grabbed his briefcase before practically tossing the money at the cabbie. Classes had run late and the students were more persistent than usual, and there had been no time for the walk back to his flat to retrieve his car, even if he decided to brave the rain. Luckily he had dressed up for the staff meeting that day, even if his suit was blue and not his customary brown.
He was able to spot Rose with little difficulty, though her back was to the window. He slid across from her, smiling as she jumped. “Lovely weather we’re having,” he teased. “Though I understand why, keeping a beauty such as yourself indoors must make even the sun sad.”
Rose laughed. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Got you to smile, though,” he observed. “You looked… worried.”
She swallowed. “My baby brother was hospitalized last night when he stopped breathing. He was saved, but they’re keeping him for a few days for observation.”
Concerned, he covered her hand with his own. “We can cancel, you know. You need to spend time with your family. It can’t be easy, worrying about it.”
“No, the doctor assured us that he’ll get through it, but…” Rose shook her head. “I already love him so much and… it scared me.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, it’s a bit of a shock to see the blue. I was beginning to think that you only wore brown.”
He allowed her to change the subject because he understood the avoidance tactic all too well. “Had a meeting this morning, and good thing too; I didn’t have time to change and you wouldn’t think me nearly so dashing in my usual attire,” he sniffed, adjusting the tie.
Rose smiled. “Dunno. I think you’d look dead sexy in jeans.”
He flushed slightly but brightened. “Oh! I almost forgot.” He bent to rifle through his briefcase before pulling out a journal. He hesitated, slightly, before turning back to her. “You once said that you wanted to get to know me,” he said quietly. “You… you know I’m not very good with words.” He placed the journal between them. “This is the journal I kept after my family died,” he said quietly. “If… if you want to read the others, that’s fine, but…” he swallowed. “That contains all the memories I don’t want to remember. They’re yours, now… if you want them.”
For a long time, Rose was quiet. “John, I…”
She was interrupted by a man that John instantly recognized as Mickey. “Hello, babe,” he said, sliding into the booth beside her and draping an arm over her shoulders. Startled, they both stared at him. “You left this morning before I could say goodbye. Should have figured you’d be here,” he chuckled.
John stared at them, a sick feeling rising in his stomach. Of course. Mickey Smith, her beau. He had all but forgotten about the man since the day he had looked Rose up online, but now…of course. They were dating while she had been seeing him. He had never felt so used. Betrayed.
“Mickey,” Rose was saying. “What are you…?” She was cut off when he kissed her.
Something in him snapped, and John stood abruptly. “Right. Well. Sorry about that, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your…” he gestured at them. “Tell your friends sorry, but I won’t be able to meet them today. You’ll probably have a good laugh about it anyway.” He turned away from Rose’s wide-eyed expression and looked out the nearby window. “I hope you two have a long and happy life together. I just hope the next time you crash into some unsuspecting stranger you don’t play with his heart.” He stopped to grab his briefcase and all but ran from the chippy.
Rose called out after him, but he didn’t stop. He was nearly all the way back to the flat, the taxi parked at a red light, when he realized that he had left his journal.
For a moment he was tempted to ask for it back, but finally decided that it wasn’t worth it. Worse thing she could do was read it, and he’d already told her- cried to her- about the worse day of his life. He didn’t want her pity or her charity, and she would, more than likely, throw it away.
Which was fine by him. That day in her flat only hardened his resolve that re-visiting those memories would bring nothing but heartache. Better to go forward and never look back.
John wasn’t surprised to find Donna waiting for him. “How’d it go?” She asked, excitedly.
He brushed past her on his way to his bedroom. “Her boyfriend showed up, and she didn’t push him away. She’s just like all the others.”
It didn’t take long before Donna overcame her surprise, but nothing she said from the other side of the door would make him leave. Finally, she left, and only then did he gave into his emotions; soon the sound of breaking glass filled the small flat, and only when every last cheap ceramic dish was flung at the wall did he finally break down and cry.
~*~
He flung himself into work, once again staying up at all hours of the night and not even complaining when Adam, Yana, and occasionally Jack gave him more things to do. He even gave his students more assignments, desperately clinging to anything that would take his mind off Rose.
The ceramic wolf had been stashed in the back of one of his drawers. He hated himself for it but he couldn’t throw it away, but he couldn’t look at it, either. He even avoided Donna, knowing that she would want to talk and he wanted to do anything but. Since Rose and Donna were the only ones who ever called his cell, he kept it off and shut away in his nightstand; his fellow faculty members were sent an email saying that he had lost his phone and that a new one wouldn’t be in for another month.
It was dangerously close to how he acted when he had lost his family, because in that dark moment as he sat amid the shards of ceramic, he finally admitted to himself that he loved her.
~*~
“You look like shit.”
He didn’t look up from the papers. “Thank you, Donna.”
“When was the last time you showered? Ate? Saw sunlight?”
“Night before last, dinner last night, and the last time it stopped raining,” he replied blandly. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
She leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Lee is covering for me. If I didn’t know any better, I would expect you to be crying into a tub of ice cream.”
“Ran out last week and haven’t had time to go shopping,” he replied sarcastically. “Now do you mind? I have thirty tests to grade by tomorrow and you’re blocking my light.”
Donna scowled. “You can’t keep going like this, John. Have you tried talking to her? Maybe she’ll explain herself.”
“She explained herself well and good when Rickey snogged her in front of me,” he replied coldly. “Seriously, Donna, I need that light.”
She moved, but that only served for her to sit down on the couch next to him. “John, you weren’t nearly this bad after Renee,” she said softly. “That woman used you for the fortune you got after sueing the electrician, and though I knew you were fond of her it was nothing like this. What happened?”
He closed his eyes. “I love her, Donna. I went and fell in love with her and she was only using me. Out of pity or some…some strange act of rebellion I don’t know, but I was her bit on the side while she continued with her boyfriend. The first thing he said to her was that she left that morning without saying goodbye. And I’m not to judge anyone’s love life but the fact that she kissed me that night at the club and probably went straight home and slept with him…” he took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter now. The semester is nearly over and I have work to do. We can hash this out in as much detail as you like over Christmas.”
Donna was quiet for a long time. “You were a better man with her,” she finally said. “I don’t think I ever saw you smile as much than when you were talking to her or about her. Any woman who can bring out that transformation cannot be bad.” She stood and laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for what she did, John, but don’t turn back into the man you were before her. I got my best friend back for those few months and I don’t want to say goodbye to him again.”
He stared at the same paper for the next hour, thoughts whirling.
~*~
When the constant cloud coverage and sporadic rainfalls finally broke, it was like a sigh of relief swept through the whole campus. His class was filled more than usual, and as he explained the rudimentary basics of quantum mechanics and string theory, John found himself cautiously optimistic. This was probably the last day of sunshine and clear streets before snow started falling, but he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.
So he was a bit startled when, fifteen minutes before class let out, the door nearly slammed open and revealed an annoyed Rose Tyler, Adam trailing along behind her, looking sour.
He dropped his dry erase marker he was so surprised. “What’s going on?” he asked, suddenly keenly aware that he was wearing his oldest pair of blue jeans, ratty trainers, and a hoodie with the Arcadia Observatory logo on it.
“You haven’t returned my calls,” she said, crossing her arms.
He forced himself to look at Adam. “Why’d you allow her in here? That door is supposed to be locked!”
Adam glared. “She made friends with the janitor. He gave the key to her.”
John sighed. “I’m in the middle of a lecture. Whatever this is about, it can wait until after.” He bent to retrieve his marker. “Adam, will you show her to my office? I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”
Rose looked ready to protest but finally gave in. When the left he let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “Anyway. As I was saying before we were interrupted…”
It was a losing battle, his students curiosity far outweighing their interest in his lecture, and he let them go five minutes later when it was clear they were too busy speculating over what had happened. He gave them homework problems out of spite, but that small victory did nothing to relieve the tension coiling within him.
He spent the twelve minutes he would have normally spent in class pacing outside the hallway leading to his office, wondering what she was going to say and how he could be expected to respond. The fact that Rose had shown up today, in his class of all places, made the hope he had thought long dead hesitantly return. Rose being here was a sign, right? Maybe she felt sorry for what she did and wanted to apologize. Or maybe- he swallowed- maybe she was here to buy him off or something so he wouldn’t take his story to the papers. The thought had never crossed his mind, of course, but still…who knew how heiresses thought?
Finally, when he knew he couldn’t waste any more time, he took a deep breath and slowly walked towards his office door. He couldn’t hear anything on the other side, and figured she was either reading one of his books or using the telescope; how often had he imagined her doing that very thing not too long ago, waiting on him to finish with classes so they could walk back to his flat, hand-in-hand? How often had he wished that he wasn’t scared to tell her his name, scared that she wouldn’t like John Smith as much as she loved the Doctor?
John steeled himself and pushed open the door.
Rose was, in fact, staring at the star chart, her fingers tracing the route of Orion. He quickly averted his eyes before she turned, squeezing around the door and closing it. He sat on his side of the desk, needing the space, before he finally looked up at her.
They regarded each other for a long moment. “How’d you find me?” he asked, finally.
“Cell number,” she replied. “Once I realized that you were avoiding me, I looked you up. Took a bit of digging but it wasn’t hard to find the only John Smith in the Physics department. It’s a rubbish name, by the way. No wonder you insisted on being called the Doctor.”
He looked away to shuffle some papers. “You were the only one who got that honor,” he muttered.
“I know. Kept getting weird looks and asked for clarification when I asked for directions to your office,” she said. “It was that student who finally told me your classroom, although he was rather angry to find out you were the one I was looking for.”
Despite himself he smiled. “Adam’s getting his masters. If you called him a student it’s a sure-fire way to get him angry.”
She looked thoughtful. “That might have done it, actually.” Then she leveled her gaze at him. “But I’m still mad at you for ignoring me.”
“I’m more angry at you for leading me on when you had Mickey,” he ground out, finally meeting her eyes. “Thought I was doing you a favor by staying away.”
Rose sighed. “Oh, John. I thought you knew. For a genius, you’re so incredibly stupid.” He bristled, but she simply walked over and around his desk, leaning against it. “Mickey is my cover. The tabloids became interested in my love life early on, so Mickey agreed to be my chaperone so that I could have some modicum of privacy. That day at the chippy he saw your journal and thought you were a pushy journalist trying to get a story. Trust me, after I realized you were gone I let ‘im have it. He was feeling that slap for days.”
He refused to fall for it. “How am I supposed to trust you?” He finally asked.
“Because you know me,” she finally said, softly, then crouched in front of him. “John, we both kept secrets from each other, accidentally or intentionally, and it was wrong. I’m here now to ask for a second go. Can you promise to trust me and believe that I’m not lying to you, and can you promise to let me get to know the real you this time?”
John stared down at her, emotions warring within him. He wanted to believe her, desperately wanted back the happy days he had spent with her…but the pain and heartache he had felt when Mickey had kissed her still lingered. What it all boiled down to, however, was if he was willing to put his heart at risk once again.
Before he could say one way or another, however, Rose suddenly brightened and stood. “Wait!” she said, “Just…just wait.” She hurried over to the small table, leaving him reeling, and dug through her bag. “You said in your journal that you didn’t have any pictures left of your parents,” she said. “I would have found you earlier, but I wanted to give you this before I did.” She pulled out a frame, and turned back to him. “Turns out, your parents were good friends with my great-aunt Sarah’s first husband. He went to their wedding.” She handed him the frame. “He was happy to part with it when he learned where it was going.”
There, in black and white, were a picture of his parents on their wedding day. He knew this picture intimately- a larger portrait had hung above the fireplace in the main living room- but he had never received a copy. “How…” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “How did he have this?”
“He was the photographer for their wedding,” Rose said quietly. “He still kept all his old film from when he first started out, and since the Smiths were good friends of his he couldn’t part with it. There…there are more pictures of your family. Not many, but…I know he would be happy to give you his copies.”
“I had forgotten about him,” John said quietly, blinking back his tears. “I used to hate sitting for all those formal pictures, but my parents insisted. I never even thought to find him and see if he still kept copies.”
He hadn’t noticed her joining him on his side of the desk, but he suddenly became all too aware of her hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” she asked.
John looked up at her, more vulnerable than he had ever allowed anyone to see, but for the first time in his life things made sense. “I am so long as you are there,” he finally said.
When she hugged him, it felt like coming home.
~*~
“How long can you stay?” he asked, as they curled up on his couch.
“Until midnight,” she admitted. “I have an early flight to a conference in Berlin. But after I get back, it’ll be for as long as you will have me.”
He tightened his grip. “You better not get tired of me, because I plan to be with you for a long, long time.”
“Good,” she whispered, before her lips met his. “Because I was thinking the same exact thing.”