(no subject)
Silence reigns in the house. I'm sitting here like usual, staring at the black background of my desktop. Although now, it's white from the tool I use to post in here.
I can't really say how I feel. I'm a mixture of emotions, depression, joy, longing, content, frustration... all cascading down my body, making every nerve ending nearly numb with overload.
I'm out of money again, I can't even afford food anymore. Taxes coming back soon, so hopefully I'll be alright. I'm down to a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and one package of ramen noodles. Wee...
The roomie's terribly upset. He misses his ex... more than I think he expected himself to. But maybe I'm reading him wrong. Not about that he misses him, but that he expected it or not.. Nothing I can do about it, but it drags me down with him.
Yet I'm happy, since I have someone to look to, even though I can't do it when I want to, which is only about every 5 minutes or so. He's coming to the area to visit.. but that's in late April, and I probably won't be able to hold off that long, so I'm going there when the money comes in. I miss him... words can't even describe it.
I've been listening nearly non-stop to music from .hack//SIGN, which probably isn't helping my mood, but I've been having mood swings as well, since I don't have a reason to be depressed, it angers me. So I force myself to laugh...
My away message is: "The sun went out as I waited for you..." it just came to me.. I have no idea why, but it did. It doesn't mean anything I think, but what do I know, I'm still figuring out who I am.
I'm going back to school next fall. ('06) I would this fall, but I've missed the application dates by a week. Probably State, since it's cheaper, but Georgia Tech would be where I'd prefer to go.
I've made the two friends who'll probably be my best friends down here.. I just hope I can see them often enough to do shit.
I'm slightly homesick, but this is finally becoming home. I'm glad, I need some constancy.
I'm about to cry for some reason, I feel it welling up right above my eyes...
...
Just hold me, and tell me I'll be ok...
~TC
I can't really say how I feel. I'm a mixture of emotions, depression, joy, longing, content, frustration... all cascading down my body, making every nerve ending nearly numb with overload.
I'm out of money again, I can't even afford food anymore. Taxes coming back soon, so hopefully I'll be alright. I'm down to a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and one package of ramen noodles. Wee...
The roomie's terribly upset. He misses his ex... more than I think he expected himself to. But maybe I'm reading him wrong. Not about that he misses him, but that he expected it or not.. Nothing I can do about it, but it drags me down with him.
Yet I'm happy, since I have someone to look to, even though I can't do it when I want to, which is only about every 5 minutes or so. He's coming to the area to visit.. but that's in late April, and I probably won't be able to hold off that long, so I'm going there when the money comes in. I miss him... words can't even describe it.
I've been listening nearly non-stop to music from .hack//SIGN, which probably isn't helping my mood, but I've been having mood swings as well, since I don't have a reason to be depressed, it angers me. So I force myself to laugh...
My away message is: "The sun went out as I waited for you..." it just came to me.. I have no idea why, but it did. It doesn't mean anything I think, but what do I know, I'm still figuring out who I am.
I'm going back to school next fall. ('06) I would this fall, but I've missed the application dates by a week. Probably State, since it's cheaper, but Georgia Tech would be where I'd prefer to go.
I've made the two friends who'll probably be my best friends down here.. I just hope I can see them often enough to do shit.
I'm slightly homesick, but this is finally becoming home. I'm glad, I need some constancy.
I'm about to cry for some reason, I feel it welling up right above my eyes...
...
Just hold me, and tell me I'll be ok...
~TC