Light fades so quickly, it's not even funny.
So I suppose my thoughts of distrust towards Jeanne were justified. (Yeah, fuck a segway, I'm getting right into this subject.) I discovered that she slept with two of my friends to "get back at me" for having been with Jaimee. Now, nothing happened between her and I, we just hung out a few times.. but that's beside the point. Two people that Jeanne had asked if her and I could have a threesome with both slept with her while I asleep, in my house, only a few feet away from me. Now, I was okay with the idea of threesomes with them, but for some reason they turned down the offer after she asked me about it. Funny coincidence, right? Now, this secret would have been kept secret forever if not for one of them asking Jeanne herself if she had been with the other person that was accused. She flipped out, deleted everyone from her myspace and facebook accounts (childish, I know, for an innocent person), and told me things were thru between us. The next day, of course we're still talking. She told me what happened, I asked around, and one of my friends confessed that she knew about what happened because Jeanne herself told her about it, but not just about one person.. she told me about both of them. Keep in mind that at the time, I had an open mind to the situation, so I asked around some more. One of the accused denied his head off, so did Jeanne after I discussed it with her, but.. the second accused confessed. Not just once, but doubly, even after I gave him the chance to take it back for some reason or another. Needless to say, Jeanne and I broke up, because she just wouldn't tell me the truth.. I could not trust her. She says he's lying.. but why the fuck would someone lie about being with your girlfriend and not letting you know about it after? Well, I forgave the one that confessed, and I thanked the one that told me she had been with both of them.. but I still don't trust her, so we had a "mutual" breakup on July 4th. Same night, I went out on a little date with someone I had been talking to since a week before (when the rumours got started, and I already had a feeling they were true.) Now, her and I are getting along well.. but Jeanne is still pleading for me to come back. Personally, I don't want a relationship right now. I want to be what it was like for me when I was dating Arlette, but you know.. minus the heart aching attachment. I want to be single, I want to have fun, I want to be independent for god-fucking-damn once. So, that's what's happened since the last post. Not to mention a lot of fights that Jeanne and I had yet again. But what else was new? Now my friends don't want to talk to her, or at least.. the ones that know what has happened. I've given Jeanne the option to talk to friends that have not heard the word yet.. and of course to the ones that have heard.. because who am I to say who she can and cannot be friends with? Besides, I trust my friends, although it's hard for me to do. I really don't have much trust these days, having been back stabbed so frequently.. and why? All I ever do is give, yes.. I have some trouble with my lack of energy, but I'm working a full time strenuous job now.. Give me some slack, will you people? I mean, I already know that's why I don't see Lance as much as I used to.. he's working a full time managerial position and he lives nearly an hour away! I can't expect much from that. (Quick backtracking of subject here..) I am however starting to feel something for this girl Ashley.. and I think she does for me too.. but I don't want to rush things. She has an 8 month old, and I don't want to get into a relationship with her unless I know I'm going to stick to it.. because the amount of damage that could happen if I wasn't would be devastating to her. She's already come to mean so much to me that I would never wish that on her. She's.. well.. let's just say I really admire her for all she's worth.. I guess it helps that her Astrological sign and mine are so perfectly matched. Haha. (Me: Libra, Her: Aquarius) And this week has been so much, seeing her so often, coming home to an empty house.. everyone went on vacation to Moose Hillock, and that gave me such a nice break. The sad part is.. they come back tomorrow night. I wish they would just stay out for another week! I haven't had enough time without them yet. Don't know what else to talk about. If any readers are aware of more that has happened, let me know, and I will oblige by expanding this into another entry. Til then, ta ta for now, happy days, highest of hopes, and may cherubic wings guide you to accomplishing your dreams.