just me letting loose
its something about this time of yeah its weird i noticed this last year, its just ther darker part of the year the time when it get darker faster more tired, eating more, just alround sucking. i hate febuary too, just from the past and this month ehh my dads birthday in on monday and i feel that i shuldnt be happy that im being selfish i am, its jsut that i think that im over this but i know my theripist belives im still depressed, i was think about this a while ago about how i havent be to the place in a while is that a bad thing? i want to go, i want to know while i write this why its making me sad and i feel like i want to cry why is that? is that normal, and when i was in florida i was hysterical that one night, it wasint even that big of a deal i think it was like a relaity check and just think the positions im in, i dont know. i want to know what exactly is going on with my emotions and im afarid to tell this the the lady i dont want her to think that im falling in a deep depression again and put me in the hosipal that wouldnt ever happen again tho, i learnded that trust is a factor in people when you tell them things that your taking a chance
and if you have thaughts about if you shuldnt tell them your better off not even crosing that line. trust me. i shuld be getting to sleep tho its bad i still ahve work to fucking do ugh why cant i jsut do it it makes me so fustrated i dont thisn this medicine is doing it for me blehhhhhhhh pukeeeee!@$throwup i feel so sick i haveint taken it in a cupple days a nd i just did and now ima bit sick alright o yea and alex, our relation ship is so weird we dont talk often i dont feel we have much trust i know i like him sooooooo much its overwhelimg and i know how he feels for me he hints it in his away messages its cute. he thinks im going to go off with holly and joani and do drugs that what hes thinking in the back of his mind im sad that he thinks that he doesint really know how much my brother made me think about things i really shuld be sleeping ima sleep im writing more tomorrow
and if you have thaughts about if you shuldnt tell them your better off not even crosing that line. trust me. i shuld be getting to sleep tho its bad i still ahve work to fucking do ugh why cant i jsut do it it makes me so fustrated i dont thisn this medicine is doing it for me blehhhhhhhh pukeeeee!@$throwup i feel so sick i haveint taken it in a cupple days a nd i just did and now ima bit sick alright o yea and alex, our relation ship is so weird we dont talk often i dont feel we have much trust i know i like him sooooooo much its overwhelimg and i know how he feels for me he hints it in his away messages its cute. he thinks im going to go off with holly and joani and do drugs that what hes thinking in the back of his mind im sad that he thinks that he doesint really know how much my brother made me think about things i really shuld be sleeping ima sleep im writing more tomorrow