[golden sun] Good thing I never finished it.
A long time before Golden Sun: Dark Dawn was announced, but after I'm on a Boat was released (Because I referenced it), I wrote a little thing about what my version of Golden Sun 3 was like. I never finished it. I also didn't take it seriously at all.
How I Would Write Golden Sun 3
EVERYONE:
Yay, rebuilding Vale!
MT. ALEPH:
[VOMITS]
EVERYONE:
Aw, shit.
KRADEN:
Maybe it would have been a better idea to not rebuild Vale in the exact same spot.
EVERYONE:
Oh, Kraden. You're so whacky with that 'logic' of yours!
-
EVERYONE:
Yay, rebuilding Vale!
VAULT:
You mean, 'Yay, taking over half of Vault!'
VALE VILLAGERS:
[IGNORE] By the way, Felix, we disown you from the village.
FELIX:
Abzuh?
EVERYONE ELSE:
Abzuh?
VALE VILLAGERS:
You may have saved the world, but you did break sacred law. We cannot break the rules, even for you. If we did, it would lead to anarchy and bad shit.
FELIX:
Man, you all suck.
-
JENNA:
I AM GOING TO PUNCH THE VILLAGE ELDERS!!
GARET:
Hey! Don't punch my grandpa!
JENNA:
[Punches Garet]
GARET:
What did I do?!
FELIX:
Don't worry. I'll just go live in the half of Vault that isn't Vale.
KRADEN:
They really don't think things through much, do they?
PIERS:
As much fun as it is to see Felix get exiled, I miss my home.
IVAN:
. . .Weren't you exiled from there?
PIERS:
I am. Felix made me homesick.
FELIX:
Dude, they'll execute you.
PIERS:
I'll solve that problem once I get there.
-
ISAAC:
Oh, yeah. We never did find Lemuria.
PIERS:
I could take you all there.
ISAAC:
Hmm. . .
PIERS:
I might need help in not getting executed as well.
ISAAC:
Well, when you put it like that, how could we say no?
-
MIA:
I'll pass. I have a snowy little village and a lighthouse to take care of.
SHEBA:
I have to go back to Lalivero.
IVAN:
I have to go back to Kalay to report to Master Hammet.
FELIX:
I'm not getting executed.
JENNA:
What else are you going to do, then? Stay here and be an exile?
-
FELIX:
Why am I on this boat?
GARET:
I'M ON A BOAT, MOTHER FUCKER!
PIERS:
Stop that.
-
MIA:
Are you sure it's wise to let the boys go by themselves?
JENNA:
What's the worst that can happen?
MIA:
I'm not sure if I want to answer that.
-
IVAN:
I'll drop Mia at Imil off first, then Sheba at Lalivero, and then teleport to Kalay by myself.
JENNA:
Well, see you! Bye! Come visit! I'll be fine here in Vale/Vault with my family and the rest of the villagers! Yep!
IVAN/MIA/SHEBA:
Okay. Bye!
JENNA:
OH MY GOD DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
-
IMIL VILLAGERS:
Mia! Welcome home! Even though you're not really needed as much anymore because we've been using the Hermes' Water like drinking water!
MIA:
Is that safe?
IMIL VILLAGERS:
We're immortal!
MIA:
Not safe, then. Maybe you should cut back.
IMIL VILLAGERS:
NO. HISS. OURS.
SHEBA:
Holy crap. Why do people living in snowy areas always have so many issues?
-
KRADEN:
Why is the ocean still full of dead fish?
GARET:
[SEASICK]
FELIX:
I missed none of this.
-
IMIL VILLAGERS:
Look! Even if we jump off a cliff and break all of our bones, the Hermes' Water fixes us right up!
JENNA:
The fountain is overflowing. No wonder they use it like regular water.
IMIL VILLAGERS:
We can fly!
MIA:
No you can't! Now stop jumping off roofs!
IMIL VILLAGERS:
[IGNORE]
MIA:
Why are you all stupid?
-
PIERS:
My homeland!
LEMURIANS:
TRAITORS! GET THEM!
-
IVAN:
Are you sure you don't need help?
MIA:
I'll be fine.
JENNA:
The villagers think they're Superman.
MIA:
I said I'll be fine; I didn't say that they'll be fine.
JENNA:
So you're just going to let natural selection take over?
MIA:
. . .I never thought about that. That would be the easiest way of handling it, wouldn't it?
JENNA:
Why do I get the feeling I just did something wrong?
-
FELIX:
Why am I in jail?
PIERS:
Because they think we're traitors to the world.
FELIX:
. . .I think I preferred being an exile.
ISAAC:
Where's Kraden?
PIERS:
They put him in another cell because he isn't an adept.
ISAAC:
Okay. Where's Garet?
PIERS:
Trying to break out of the cell with his Djinn, since they confiscated our weapons and put a Psynergy seal on the cell.
ISAAC:
Wow. Garet had a good idea.
FELIX:
Except for the part where blowing up the jail cell is the most unsubtle way of getting out of jail ever.
ISAAC:
I don't think subtlety really matters right now.
-
SHEBA:
I'm home!
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
SHEBA! [CLING SOB CRY]
SHEBA:
Can't. . .breathe. . .!
JENNA:
Awwww. That's so sweet!
IVAN:
. . .Uh, Jenna, I think I'd hide if I were you.
JENNA:
Why?
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
You! You were the one who stole our Sheba away!
JENNA:
Huh?! What?! No! You've got it wrong!
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
Kill her!
JENNA:
Sheba! Can't you explain?
SHEBA:
Still. . .can't. . .breathe. . .!
IVAN:
Aw, man. Why can't things ever work out for us?
Less than 70 days until Dark Dawn is released!
Originally posted here with
comments!
How I Would Write Golden Sun 3
EVERYONE:
Yay, rebuilding Vale!
MT. ALEPH:
[VOMITS]
EVERYONE:
Aw, shit.
KRADEN:
Maybe it would have been a better idea to not rebuild Vale in the exact same spot.
EVERYONE:
Oh, Kraden. You're so whacky with that 'logic' of yours!
-
EVERYONE:
Yay, rebuilding Vale!
VAULT:
You mean, 'Yay, taking over half of Vault!'
VALE VILLAGERS:
[IGNORE] By the way, Felix, we disown you from the village.
FELIX:
Abzuh?
EVERYONE ELSE:
Abzuh?
VALE VILLAGERS:
You may have saved the world, but you did break sacred law. We cannot break the rules, even for you. If we did, it would lead to anarchy and bad shit.
FELIX:
Man, you all suck.
-
JENNA:
I AM GOING TO PUNCH THE VILLAGE ELDERS!!
GARET:
Hey! Don't punch my grandpa!
JENNA:
[Punches Garet]
GARET:
What did I do?!
FELIX:
Don't worry. I'll just go live in the half of Vault that isn't Vale.
KRADEN:
They really don't think things through much, do they?
PIERS:
As much fun as it is to see Felix get exiled, I miss my home.
IVAN:
. . .Weren't you exiled from there?
PIERS:
I am. Felix made me homesick.
FELIX:
Dude, they'll execute you.
PIERS:
I'll solve that problem once I get there.
-
ISAAC:
Oh, yeah. We never did find Lemuria.
PIERS:
I could take you all there.
ISAAC:
Hmm. . .
PIERS:
I might need help in not getting executed as well.
ISAAC:
Well, when you put it like that, how could we say no?
-
MIA:
I'll pass. I have a snowy little village and a lighthouse to take care of.
SHEBA:
I have to go back to Lalivero.
IVAN:
I have to go back to Kalay to report to Master Hammet.
FELIX:
I'm not getting executed.
JENNA:
What else are you going to do, then? Stay here and be an exile?
-
FELIX:
Why am I on this boat?
GARET:
I'M ON A BOAT, MOTHER FUCKER!
PIERS:
Stop that.
-
MIA:
Are you sure it's wise to let the boys go by themselves?
JENNA:
What's the worst that can happen?
MIA:
I'm not sure if I want to answer that.
-
IVAN:
I'll drop Mia at Imil off first, then Sheba at Lalivero, and then teleport to Kalay by myself.
JENNA:
Well, see you! Bye! Come visit! I'll be fine here in Vale/Vault with my family and the rest of the villagers! Yep!
IVAN/MIA/SHEBA:
Okay. Bye!
JENNA:
OH MY GOD DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
-
IMIL VILLAGERS:
Mia! Welcome home! Even though you're not really needed as much anymore because we've been using the Hermes' Water like drinking water!
MIA:
Is that safe?
IMIL VILLAGERS:
We're immortal!
MIA:
Not safe, then. Maybe you should cut back.
IMIL VILLAGERS:
NO. HISS. OURS.
SHEBA:
Holy crap. Why do people living in snowy areas always have so many issues?
-
KRADEN:
Why is the ocean still full of dead fish?
GARET:
[SEASICK]
FELIX:
I missed none of this.
-
IMIL VILLAGERS:
Look! Even if we jump off a cliff and break all of our bones, the Hermes' Water fixes us right up!
JENNA:
The fountain is overflowing. No wonder they use it like regular water.
IMIL VILLAGERS:
We can fly!
MIA:
No you can't! Now stop jumping off roofs!
IMIL VILLAGERS:
[IGNORE]
MIA:
Why are you all stupid?
-
PIERS:
My homeland!
LEMURIANS:
TRAITORS! GET THEM!
-
IVAN:
Are you sure you don't need help?
MIA:
I'll be fine.
JENNA:
The villagers think they're Superman.
MIA:
I said I'll be fine; I didn't say that they'll be fine.
JENNA:
So you're just going to let natural selection take over?
MIA:
. . .I never thought about that. That would be the easiest way of handling it, wouldn't it?
JENNA:
Why do I get the feeling I just did something wrong?
-
FELIX:
Why am I in jail?
PIERS:
Because they think we're traitors to the world.
FELIX:
. . .I think I preferred being an exile.
ISAAC:
Where's Kraden?
PIERS:
They put him in another cell because he isn't an adept.
ISAAC:
Okay. Where's Garet?
PIERS:
Trying to break out of the cell with his Djinn, since they confiscated our weapons and put a Psynergy seal on the cell.
ISAAC:
Wow. Garet had a good idea.
FELIX:
Except for the part where blowing up the jail cell is the most unsubtle way of getting out of jail ever.
ISAAC:
I don't think subtlety really matters right now.
-
SHEBA:
I'm home!
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
SHEBA! [CLING SOB CRY]
SHEBA:
Can't. . .breathe. . .!
JENNA:
Awwww. That's so sweet!
IVAN:
. . .Uh, Jenna, I think I'd hide if I were you.
JENNA:
Why?
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
You! You were the one who stole our Sheba away!
JENNA:
Huh?! What?! No! You've got it wrong!
LALIVERO VILLAGERS:
Kill her!
JENNA:
Sheba! Can't you explain?
SHEBA:
Still. . .can't. . .breathe. . .!
IVAN:
Aw, man. Why can't things ever work out for us?
Less than 70 days until Dark Dawn is released!
Originally posted here with
comments!