Briefly re-surfacing.
I have no idea what prompted me to come to this site. I think it has something to do with my morbid tendency to mentally and emotionally re-evaluate myself every few years. This is made possible by the bread-crumb-like journal entries from various sources I've left myself to follow for fuck knows how long. So, I find myself here.
Could I neatly arrange, perhaps in bullet point format, all the changes that have taken place in my life since my last entry? Sure. Maybe. It seems like an impossible, worthless, worthlessly impossible task. So, no. I won't do that.
What I will do is say: I'm still here. And if you really think about that statement, you'll wonder what I mean. How am I still here? Physically, sure. I'm 27, probably the same height and weight, all limbs intact, etc. Mentally? Emotionally? Am I still here? Perhaps. Of course I am, in a sense. I still have the unmatched ability to ramble on about myself and my narcissistic little life. I remain, as ever, far too introspective and self-destructive. I retain all of these qualities; the difference, now, is my awareness of them. Perhaps, one day, I will fully temper them.
These journal entries are painful. They are so drawn out, so depressive, such a waste. I wish I had spent my energy on more productive activities. This is a lesson I am eager to say I have learned, but am still learning. I am a work in progress, as ever.
Until the next time I re-surface to self-analyze...
...Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.
Could I neatly arrange, perhaps in bullet point format, all the changes that have taken place in my life since my last entry? Sure. Maybe. It seems like an impossible, worthless, worthlessly impossible task. So, no. I won't do that.
What I will do is say: I'm still here. And if you really think about that statement, you'll wonder what I mean. How am I still here? Physically, sure. I'm 27, probably the same height and weight, all limbs intact, etc. Mentally? Emotionally? Am I still here? Perhaps. Of course I am, in a sense. I still have the unmatched ability to ramble on about myself and my narcissistic little life. I remain, as ever, far too introspective and self-destructive. I retain all of these qualities; the difference, now, is my awareness of them. Perhaps, one day, I will fully temper them.
These journal entries are painful. They are so drawn out, so depressive, such a waste. I wish I had spent my energy on more productive activities. This is a lesson I am eager to say I have learned, but am still learning. I am a work in progress, as ever.
Until the next time I re-surface to self-analyze...
...Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.