Kelenth Montague is an enormous ass.
So this kid's almost an adult. A runaway, estranged from her family. It's hard, but she's dealing with it. Doing alright for herself on her own, getting the hang of things, adjusting okay. Rough going, but it's going. Bit by bit, it gets easier.
I assume, anyway. If she's anything like me
light FORBID this kid end up being any more like me
But then, this well-meaning numbskull steps in. Works his way through the emotional armor, cares for her, adopts her, calls her his own.
Then decides it's time to go find his place in the world or some shit, leaves the entire estate in her care, talks incessantly about how he wants to be buried in a rose garden when he dies, insists that she preemptively plants said garden, and gets ready to prance off to Nagrand as soon as he's done preparing his own funeral.
And then he shows up here and wonders why she feels abandoned.
and coming to ME for guidance about it what the everloving FUCK
And just as I'm ready to try to smack some sense into him, that thick-skulled son of a bitch pulls out this line.
"But you aren't alone! You've got Hakkroz, and your sister, and the only man I'd call your godfather!"
YOU CORNY
DIM
MOTHERFUCKER
He and I gotta have a loooong fucking talk about his abilities as a judge of character.
And why the fuck would you do that? She's pretty much a fucking adult. Aren't godparents for taking over the raising of a LITTLE KID if all the other relatives kick the bucket? This is dumb.
And you say some shit like that, it holds you up as someone worth hanging around and emulating.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING SOME KIND OF MID-LIFE CRISIS DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OKAY TO DUMP HER OFF ON ME LIKE I HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M DOING HERE
Oh Lue you poor kid your dad's a dunce and you're hanging around me
this cannot end well for you
I assume, anyway. If she's anything like me
light FORBID this kid end up being any more like me
But then, this well-meaning numbskull steps in. Works his way through the emotional armor, cares for her, adopts her, calls her his own.
Then decides it's time to go find his place in the world or some shit, leaves the entire estate in her care, talks incessantly about how he wants to be buried in a rose garden when he dies, insists that she preemptively plants said garden, and gets ready to prance off to Nagrand as soon as he's done preparing his own funeral.
And then he shows up here and wonders why she feels abandoned.
and coming to ME for guidance about it what the everloving FUCK
And just as I'm ready to try to smack some sense into him, that thick-skulled son of a bitch pulls out this line.
"But you aren't alone! You've got Hakkroz, and your sister, and the only man I'd call your godfather!"
YOU CORNY
DIM
MOTHERFUCKER
He and I gotta have a loooong fucking talk about his abilities as a judge of character.
And why the fuck would you do that? She's pretty much a fucking adult. Aren't godparents for taking over the raising of a LITTLE KID if all the other relatives kick the bucket? This is dumb.
And you say some shit like that, it holds you up as someone worth hanging around and emulating.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING SOME KIND OF MID-LIFE CRISIS DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OKAY TO DUMP HER OFF ON ME LIKE I HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M DOING HERE
Oh Lue you poor kid your dad's a dunce and you're hanging around me
this cannot end well for you