big bird got clocked, son.
i have this memory. i think it might be the earliest vivid memory i have. most of the details are muddy. like the dialogue. i can remember i was crying but not crying hard. it was the kind of cry where your body kind of tenses up and your face flushes hot, your eyes well up with tears but not ever enough to actually drop down your face. so i was on the verge of crying. i remember my mom half-way listening to me. she was moving boxes. i'm not sure why. there were lots of boxes. i was sitting on a box. i still can't explain the boxes. we weren't just moving into our house or anything. i was two when we moved to florida from germany. i would say i was around four or five in this memory. maybe there weren't ever any boxes at all. i could have been sitting on a chair, who knows. i remember my mom being a little frantic and irritated by me. she wasn't comforting me so i must've been bugging her. i was trying to tell her about this nightmare i had. i think it might have been one of the first nightmares i had ever had. so i was really shooken up. i was trying to tell my mom that in my dream i was getting onto the school bus. although the school bus wasn't on a road. i still remember having the actual dream so i remember the bus being on a movie set. like a children's show set, where they only have one backdrop so they don't give children A.D.D. i had gotten on the bus and was sitting in the back when big bird came on the bus. he hadn't been on the bus long before someone had come up behind him and shot him. i remember screaming hysterically in the dream. i think about that dream now and i honestly think that it's totally not a normal dream for a four of five year old to have. children have nightmares but they're about monsters and ghosts and g-rated scares that their limited imagination lets them dream up. i was a middle class kid that lived in the suburbs with nice, normal parents. how could i have dreamed about someone shooting one of my childhood idols? and better yet why wasn't my mom alarmed by this? it took me along time to tell her the dream. i some how developed a horrible case of hiccups during the recollection. it would take me a minute just to say one sentence. the worst part: when i bring it up to my mom she tells me she doesn't ever remember that happening. i have a history of confusing memories of reality with memories of dreams. i remember one time me, my mom and dad were eating dinner one night i was probably about ten years old. and my dad reached out to grab some meat loaf and i looked at his arm with his palm up and it sparked this memory. so i said "hey dad, remember when we had to rush you to the hospital because you cut your arm open?". my parents looked at me like i was some strange kid that had spontaneously appeared infront of them that very second. my parents had one of those electric knives that you cut turkey and loaves a bread with. i apparently had a memory of my dad putting one of those long loaves of french bread on his arm with his palm up and cutting it in half but accidentally going to far and cutting a long line horizontally down the inside of his arm. i remember feeling this wave of numbness like i wasn't even in my own body when my parents told me that it had never happened. it was one of the strangest feelings i had ever had, to find out this memory you thought was real never happened. i still to this day don't remember if i had seen it in a movie or dreamt it or even had some interception of telepathy from another human being. it was weird. it still weirds me out to this day.