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[larhar]

ok so i gave it about 2 minutes.  to hell with this!  i'm like a kid who wants to cookie and every time i reach to grab it someone slaps my hand away.  except i'm not a kid.  and it isn't someone slapping my hand away, it's me.  my scared, pathetic pysche.  i'm too scared to even feel sorry for myself.  i'm afraid it insults those who are worse off

Comments

[anonymous]

I know things are rough right now for you. Shelby is something pure in this crazy ass backwards world and it isn't fair that things are happening like this. However, I do beleive she is ready in several ways and I can see it on her face whenever we visit. Also, she has found love in more ways than one and I can only assume that is how she maintains such grace during these times. I think your father will be ok. I can only continue to urge you to have a face to face talk with him about your worries. I know my scope into your parents is limited, but I am fully convinced your honest opinion is the only thing that coulde suede him to give up the lifestyle he know he can't sustain. I know the thought of your mother alone terrifies both your present and your future. However, currently this present is all that we can be sure of and presumptions will only drive you mad. This is all easier said than done of course as you lay awake drifting towards thoughts of a tired morning irritated in your class room with burdens antaganozing your focus, while occassionly relapsing into the " well I know this isnt quite it right now, so what occupation,destination, reciprication can truly make me happy" I wish I could answer all this for you and let you have a decent nights sleep. But all I can do now is promise all good things in all good time and let you know I am with you in answering these questions, despite my self indulgent relapses into space. I love you.