Fic: Flash Forward 2/16 (R) by Laren
Title: Flash Forward 2/16
Fandom: SGA (fused into the Flash Forward Universe)
Pairing: John/Rodney
Disclaimer: If it were mine, there would be no Keller.
Warnings: au, angst, romance
Rating: R (mostly for Rodney's foul mouth)
Spoilers: None I can think of
Beta: koryou and zannabq you are the best *huggs*
Wordcount: 3065
A/N: This is an AU. I took SGA changed it a bit and settled it into the Flash Forward Universe. You do not need to know Flash Forward to enjoy this story.
Summary: On October 6th, the whole world blacked out for three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Some people claim they saw the future.
”China? You’ve got to be kidding me! Which stupid moron did hire you and allow you to open your mouth in front of cameras?” Rodney was blistering with righteous anger. If idiocy could hurt the guy on TV surely would scream in agony, but so it only hurt Rodney’s brain.
“What’s the matter?” Jeannie came back into the kitchen and looked bewildered at her brother.
“What’s the matter?” Rodney went into full rant mode. “I’m tortured, that’s the matter. First of all, I have to endure forced labor…”
“Hey,” his sister laughed. “You want mashed potatoes; you’ve got to peel them. That’s the deal.”
“I’m a certified genius. I’m not meant to do this… this… this stuff!” Rodney looked down at the mess he’d made out of the potatoes. Most probably it was for the best that they were to end mashed later anyhow.
Jeannie looked at him with mock disdain. “You wouldn’t want to give Madison the wrong impression that slacking is ok, would you?”
“No, but…”.
“Mer, I love to have you over here and I’m gladly feeding you your favorite food. But you have to pull your weight too. Those are the rules.” She looked rather stern while saying this in her best mother-voice.
Rodney knew when he was beaten. He could argue for the sake of the principle but on the other hand there were mashed potatoes. Grumbling he took the next one and started to peel again.
The slave driver - aka his sister - laughed again. “And what’s the other thing that has gotten you in full rant mode?”
“Hah!” snorted Rodney. “You’ll not believe the level of stupidity. This waste of oxygen over there somehow got assigned to speak for the CIA to the congressional investigation committee, and you guess whom he accuses of being responsible for the blackout!?! China! What did they do to come to this conclusion? Reading a fortune cookie backwards?” Thinking about this made Rodney very glad that his plans to move to the US hadn’t worked out. He would be ashamed - and even more furious - if his tax money would be used to finance such nonsense.
“Well the impact of the blackout was considerably less in China than it was for the western world.”
Rodney’s hands - still holding a potato and the knife - were waving again. “That’s because the blackout happened during the middle of the fucking night for the countries on that part of the world! And not all of them are even communists. Or hell-bent on destroying the American way of life.” Rodney’s hands waving air-quotations. “If this is the only proof they have to claim that China is responsible then they are even more stupid than I would have given them credit for. But what do you expect from an organization which has nothing better to do than scare a young child that only wanted to win the science fair!” Rodney was radiating righteous anger.
Jeannie made a deep suffering sigh. “It was a working model, Mer.”
“But I didn’t have plutonium, now did I? I was only twelve! What gave them the right to interrogate me? In Canada! Fuckers!”
His sister rolled her eyes. “Ok, I’ll get it. You and the CIA will never be best pals. But does that mean that they are wrong with this assessment too?”
Rodney couldn’t believe this question. Was Jeannie trying to give him a stroke? “Yes, because it’s not an assessment!” blustered Rodney. “It’s just blaming the bad guy of the month! There was no evidence brought up from them to the committee that supported their ham-fisted statement. Looking into a crystal ball has more scientific value than that. And for the record, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this whole blackout had somehow been caused by them. And this is just a failing attempt to shift the blame.”
“You do realize that sometimes you sound like one of those crazy world conspiracy guys. Next thing you will wear a hat made out of aluminum so that the bad CIA cannot read your thoughts.” Jeannie laughed.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rodney snorted. Finally fed up with the situation he let go of the knife and tried to reach the remote.
“No, leave this on. I want to listen to the program!” his sister protested.
“Did your brain just commit suicide or why do want to listen to this utter bullshit?” Rodney was honestly bewildered.
Jeannie sat down beside him, taking the remote protectively into her hands. “I’m curious if they will say something about the flashes.”
At once Rodney felt a chill down his spine. A now familiar mix of emotions tried to bring him down and he wouldn’t allow that. Or this stupid discussion. “What’s to say about that? We lost consciousness and the lack of oxygen caused some hallucinations. That’s all it was,” he said coolly.
Of course Jeannie didn’t get the hint or she had a natural immunity to the wrath of a McKay. “Come on Mer, that’s an even worse explanation than the ‘China’ one. You really believe that almost seventy percent of the population got vivid hallucinations - which by the way felt absolute real and not even remotely dreamlike - due to the lack of oxygen?”
Rodney’s lips were pressed to a thin line. “Yes. What else could it be?”
Now it was Jeannie who was waving her hands around. “I don’t know? Why not flashes of our future as most people believe?”
“Most people are idiots! And that is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Why are you so against this idea? If it really were only hallucinations, why did so many people see the exact same point of time? Everyone who had a kind of time identification in their flash saw the same day and the same hour. Do you have any theory that explains why they all saw the 19th September next year? Ten months in the future?”
Rodney’s hands waved Jeannie’s idea away in disgust. “Bah! That’s mass hysteria, nothing more! Someone started to say it was that specific day and time and voila the whole world followed suit. Did it not sound crazy to you that so many people could actually identify the day?”
Jeannie frowned “Well the main news start at that hour. Lots of people were watching it. And the date is always shown in the background.”
“No! Proof! At! All!” Rodney’s potato hand underlined every word with a gesture. “The mass hysteria theory is more likely. Or did you see a date in your flash?”
His Sister shook her head. “No, but I was just standing in my bedroom looking at a picture. How should I get a specific date out of that?”
“See! There’s no proof at all. This whole idea of the hallucinations being flashes from the future is ridiculous.”
“But they come true!” Jeannie never knew when to admit defeat and stop a discussion.
Rodney’s voice did reach a level of cold he himself wouldn’t have thought possible. “They cannot come true! Anyone claiming that is a fucking liar! Also it’s still 10 months until this stupid date, so how could anyone claim for their flashes to be true?”
As usual his sister did not back down. “But there is already proof Rodney! We do not need to wait for ten more months to see that the paths are starting.”
Rodney’s hands were waving around in disgust “That’s all made up by the TV producers. Last year it was sending celebrities to rehab, now it’s ‘My Great Flash Forward Came True’. It’s disgusting!”
“Don’t be such an ass. And don’t treat me like I’m stupid and the TV can manipulate me. I’m speaking about real people and real proof. Just take Sofie from accounting. She saw herself in our office in Toronto. Obviously being in charge there. She told me that she would never have considered even applying for that job. But now she did and guess what, yesterday was the announcement that she got it!”
“Bah! Most probably she saw the job offer before and was subconsciously thinking about this when the blackout happened. And because she believed she would get the job, she had the necessary confidence during the interview to get it. Does ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ ring a bell, Jeannie? Psychology is nothing more than mind-voodoo, but they do get some things right.” At least sometimes.
“And what about cousin Jake and his ex-wife Sarah? In their flash they were back together and they just started dating again.”
“Come on? That’s your proof? Those idiots have been on and off for the last 5 years. That they start dating again now does not mean that they will still be together when this imaginary day is here. Odds are they will separate in 5 weeks top.”
Jeannie shook her head again. “No, they really do want to make it work this time. They even go to counseling. They did see something beautiful in their flash and they want to make it come true. Why are you such an asshole, talking everything down?”
“Because it’s idiocy! It gives people false hope! And I can’t believe that people with more than one functioning brain cell go and change their life just because of this hallucinations. You are all acting like lemmings and do not even recognize how stupid this is.” Rodney almost felt nausea again. Thinking about the flash always got to him.
“And what is with my flash, Rodney? Why do you think I did see what I saw?”
Rodney laid down the potato and the knife, taking a deep sigh before answering. “That’s psychology 101 Jeannie. Nothing more. You saw yourself holding a picture which showed you as a bride and a man you don’t even know as the groom. Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
Jeannie closed her eyes for a moment, and Rodney hated himself a bit to cause her pain. “So you think my flash showed me being married because I’m still not over Kaleb?”
Rodney really hated to talk about these kinds of things, but it seemed inevitable. “I’m not implying that you are one of those women that only have one goal in life - being married. Quite the contrary. But the fucking bastard hurt you a lot and it’s ok to want something better, something normal. Even if you are way too smart to just be a wife and mother.”
“Wow, that was almost a compliment. And quite sweet actually. Just keep this up and your street cred as an Ogre will be gone in no time.” Contrary to her words Jeannie was smiling.
“I just wished I could change what happened then, Jeannie,” was his honest response.
She took his hands into hers and squeezed them tightly. “You did good. You left your high fly career plans behind and came back here to support me through the first years. And I don’t mean only the money. You were the best brother one could wish for and the best uncle ever. Madison is not missing her dad one bit.”
As usual Rodney was not good at receiving praise for being a nice person; it simply was not something he felt comfortable with. “I only did what was the right thing to do, Jeannie. And some people even think I could have done more. A real good brother most probably had taken a gun and forced the asshole to the altar.”
Jeannie snorted. “As if I would have married that spineless coward anyhow. It’s for the best that he ran away. Can you imagine me, married to an English Major? Living in Suburbia? I would have gone mad. I like my life as it is now. With Madison, my work and you. So no, there are no hidden subconscious longings in me to be married to a tall, dark and mysterious stranger.”
“If that’s true, why did you kick out ‘what’s his name’ after the flash?”
Jeannie rolled her eyes. “Dave and I were going nowhere fast. The flash just showed me how much time I was wasting with him. I know that there is someone else for me out there. Even if it turns out that it’s not the guy I saw in my flash. But life is too short to settle for second best. That’s what I got from the flash.”
“So why hooking up with the moron in the first place?”
“Duh! Because he was good in the sack,” was the nonchalant answer.
Rodney sputtered. “Jeannie, I don’t need to know that! TMI!”
“Don’t be such a prude. Anyhow let’s not get sidetracked here. You still haven’t told me why you are so hell-bent against the idea that the flashes are glimpses of the future?”
Rodney swallowed hard. “It can’t be the future Jeannie. It’s impossible.”
Honest bewilderment showed in Jeannie’s face. “I don’t believe you talking like that. You were never so dismissive of a new idea just because it’s unorthodox. This is just not you. And as long as you don’t give me a valid reason, I’ll believe in these flashes. It gave me hope and I will not allow you to destroy it.”
“But it’s false hope!” Rodney’s voice was filled with venom.
Jeannie squeezed his hands tight. “Mer, what’s going on? Talk to me.” Her eyes were searching his, trying to see every secret he was hiding. “Did your flash show you something bad? Or, or didn’t you have one?”
“Jeannie,” Rodney tried to protest.
“Oh my god you didn’t have one!” Jeannie was worried. “But that doesn’t mean anything. All those people who fear that not having a flash will mean they will be dead at the date - that’s stupid and you know it. Don’t you worry. Nothing will happen to you.”
It was Jeannie’s obvious distress that finally broke Rodney’s wall. He never wanted to speak about his flash but seeing Jeannie coming to the wrong conclusions was worse than talking about the stupid flash. That would hurt him more. And suddenly Rodney couldn’t stop to talk. “No, no! You got it wrong. I had a flash. So please don’t worry. But Jeannie, I know for a fact that these flashes are not the future. They can’t be!”
“Why not?”
“Because I was sitting in a fucking spacecraft! And I don’t mean a NASA model. And I was fighting bad Aliens. Just like the most ridiculous Science Fiction show you can imagine. That is not my future, that’s more like a childhood dream. So now you know that these flashes don’t come true!”
Jeannie was shocked at his outrage. Her arm went around his shoulders hugging him tightly. But instead of stopping the painful discussion she poked deeper. “Mer, that’s not all. I see that you are deeply hurt. Tell me everything. Maybe I can help?”
Rodney doubted that very much. But parts of his secret were in the open now and maybe it was best to get everything out. And so he started to tell his sister about the impossible flash. He didn’t leave out anything. And the funny part was it actually felt good to speak about this. Ok, so maybe not really good, but he felt a heavy weight taken from his chest.
Jeannie listened with rapt fascination, not even cutting in once. “And then I woke up. So tell me Jeannie, how likely is it that I’ll be out in space, saving planets in just one year? How likely is it that there will be this perfect guy who’ll be in love with me? This is so absurd that I’m reconsidering my intellect. My subconscious shouldn’t be that stupid.”
“Why shouldn’t there be a nice guy in your future?”
“Hello? You know me, don’t you? Rodney the Ogre? John… the guy, he was gorgeous and a god damn hero. Guys like him will only say ‘I love you’ to me if I’ll pay them to. Can we please agree that it was a hallucination created by my own stupidity and lack of oxygen?”
Jeannie shook her head. “No! I agree that what you saw sounds pretty unlikely.”
“Hah!” interrupted Rodney.
But Jeannie just went on, “Nevertheless, let’s for a second just forget about the surroundings. Maybe they are not so important. Or maybe you and him were in a kind of holographic game simulation. I don’t know. But I do know that you would only be stupid if you dismiss the flash just because it’s so unlikely. Focus on the important things.”
“Which would be?”
“The feelings. Did you listen to what you just described, Mer? It wasn’t just this guy saying these words. You felt the same. Have you ever felt the same before?”
Rodney shut his eyes for a second. “No. And that’s why it’s so impossible.”
“Quite the contrary. I think this proves that it will come true. How could you have a hallucination like this? And why shouldn’t there be a nice guy liking you? You are an acquired taste, I’ll give you that. You rush in and stomp where angels fear to treat. And people who only see your shell are thinking you are the greatest asshole on the whole planet. But people who are brave enough to look beneath the bluster see a nice guy loyal to the bone. So don’t give me this self-pitying crap that there will never be someone who loves you!”
“Ah…” Rodney started, not really knowing what to answer to that.
Jeannie just went on, “It’s your decision Mer. You can either deny this possible future or take a leap of faith. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.”
“Don’t you see how much it’s hurting me already? What will happen when I start to believe in this now, only to find out that it was a hallucination?”
Jeannie brought her right arm in front of his eyes. “Do you see the red scar beneath my wrist? I got it last week when I was touching the electric iron. Madison had used it and not switched it off. I didn’t know that. And guess what, I saw this exact scar in my flash. They do show our future! What you saw will happen. You’ll find this guy!”
Slowly hope was spreading inside of Rodney. Maybe his sister was right. Maybe it was possible. Maybe the flash was showing his future?
Flash Forward - Part 1
Fandom: SGA (fused into the Flash Forward Universe)
Pairing: John/Rodney
Disclaimer: If it were mine, there would be no Keller.
Warnings: au, angst, romance
Rating: R (mostly for Rodney's foul mouth)
Spoilers: None I can think of
Beta: koryou and zannabq you are the best *huggs*
Wordcount: 3065
A/N: This is an AU. I took SGA changed it a bit and settled it into the Flash Forward Universe. You do not need to know Flash Forward to enjoy this story.
Summary: On October 6th, the whole world blacked out for three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Some people claim they saw the future.
”China? You’ve got to be kidding me! Which stupid moron did hire you and allow you to open your mouth in front of cameras?” Rodney was blistering with righteous anger. If idiocy could hurt the guy on TV surely would scream in agony, but so it only hurt Rodney’s brain.
“What’s the matter?” Jeannie came back into the kitchen and looked bewildered at her brother.
“What’s the matter?” Rodney went into full rant mode. “I’m tortured, that’s the matter. First of all, I have to endure forced labor…”
“Hey,” his sister laughed. “You want mashed potatoes; you’ve got to peel them. That’s the deal.”
“I’m a certified genius. I’m not meant to do this… this… this stuff!” Rodney looked down at the mess he’d made out of the potatoes. Most probably it was for the best that they were to end mashed later anyhow.
Jeannie looked at him with mock disdain. “You wouldn’t want to give Madison the wrong impression that slacking is ok, would you?”
“No, but…”.
“Mer, I love to have you over here and I’m gladly feeding you your favorite food. But you have to pull your weight too. Those are the rules.” She looked rather stern while saying this in her best mother-voice.
Rodney knew when he was beaten. He could argue for the sake of the principle but on the other hand there were mashed potatoes. Grumbling he took the next one and started to peel again.
The slave driver - aka his sister - laughed again. “And what’s the other thing that has gotten you in full rant mode?”
“Hah!” snorted Rodney. “You’ll not believe the level of stupidity. This waste of oxygen over there somehow got assigned to speak for the CIA to the congressional investigation committee, and you guess whom he accuses of being responsible for the blackout!?! China! What did they do to come to this conclusion? Reading a fortune cookie backwards?” Thinking about this made Rodney very glad that his plans to move to the US hadn’t worked out. He would be ashamed - and even more furious - if his tax money would be used to finance such nonsense.
“Well the impact of the blackout was considerably less in China than it was for the western world.”
Rodney’s hands - still holding a potato and the knife - were waving again. “That’s because the blackout happened during the middle of the fucking night for the countries on that part of the world! And not all of them are even communists. Or hell-bent on destroying the American way of life.” Rodney’s hands waving air-quotations. “If this is the only proof they have to claim that China is responsible then they are even more stupid than I would have given them credit for. But what do you expect from an organization which has nothing better to do than scare a young child that only wanted to win the science fair!” Rodney was radiating righteous anger.
Jeannie made a deep suffering sigh. “It was a working model, Mer.”
“But I didn’t have plutonium, now did I? I was only twelve! What gave them the right to interrogate me? In Canada! Fuckers!”
His sister rolled her eyes. “Ok, I’ll get it. You and the CIA will never be best pals. But does that mean that they are wrong with this assessment too?”
Rodney couldn’t believe this question. Was Jeannie trying to give him a stroke? “Yes, because it’s not an assessment!” blustered Rodney. “It’s just blaming the bad guy of the month! There was no evidence brought up from them to the committee that supported their ham-fisted statement. Looking into a crystal ball has more scientific value than that. And for the record, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this whole blackout had somehow been caused by them. And this is just a failing attempt to shift the blame.”
“You do realize that sometimes you sound like one of those crazy world conspiracy guys. Next thing you will wear a hat made out of aluminum so that the bad CIA cannot read your thoughts.” Jeannie laughed.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rodney snorted. Finally fed up with the situation he let go of the knife and tried to reach the remote.
“No, leave this on. I want to listen to the program!” his sister protested.
“Did your brain just commit suicide or why do want to listen to this utter bullshit?” Rodney was honestly bewildered.
Jeannie sat down beside him, taking the remote protectively into her hands. “I’m curious if they will say something about the flashes.”
At once Rodney felt a chill down his spine. A now familiar mix of emotions tried to bring him down and he wouldn’t allow that. Or this stupid discussion. “What’s to say about that? We lost consciousness and the lack of oxygen caused some hallucinations. That’s all it was,” he said coolly.
Of course Jeannie didn’t get the hint or she had a natural immunity to the wrath of a McKay. “Come on Mer, that’s an even worse explanation than the ‘China’ one. You really believe that almost seventy percent of the population got vivid hallucinations - which by the way felt absolute real and not even remotely dreamlike - due to the lack of oxygen?”
Rodney’s lips were pressed to a thin line. “Yes. What else could it be?”
Now it was Jeannie who was waving her hands around. “I don’t know? Why not flashes of our future as most people believe?”
“Most people are idiots! And that is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Why are you so against this idea? If it really were only hallucinations, why did so many people see the exact same point of time? Everyone who had a kind of time identification in their flash saw the same day and the same hour. Do you have any theory that explains why they all saw the 19th September next year? Ten months in the future?”
Rodney’s hands waved Jeannie’s idea away in disgust. “Bah! That’s mass hysteria, nothing more! Someone started to say it was that specific day and time and voila the whole world followed suit. Did it not sound crazy to you that so many people could actually identify the day?”
Jeannie frowned “Well the main news start at that hour. Lots of people were watching it. And the date is always shown in the background.”
“No! Proof! At! All!” Rodney’s potato hand underlined every word with a gesture. “The mass hysteria theory is more likely. Or did you see a date in your flash?”
His Sister shook her head. “No, but I was just standing in my bedroom looking at a picture. How should I get a specific date out of that?”
“See! There’s no proof at all. This whole idea of the hallucinations being flashes from the future is ridiculous.”
“But they come true!” Jeannie never knew when to admit defeat and stop a discussion.
Rodney’s voice did reach a level of cold he himself wouldn’t have thought possible. “They cannot come true! Anyone claiming that is a fucking liar! Also it’s still 10 months until this stupid date, so how could anyone claim for their flashes to be true?”
As usual his sister did not back down. “But there is already proof Rodney! We do not need to wait for ten more months to see that the paths are starting.”
Rodney’s hands were waving around in disgust “That’s all made up by the TV producers. Last year it was sending celebrities to rehab, now it’s ‘My Great Flash Forward Came True’. It’s disgusting!”
“Don’t be such an ass. And don’t treat me like I’m stupid and the TV can manipulate me. I’m speaking about real people and real proof. Just take Sofie from accounting. She saw herself in our office in Toronto. Obviously being in charge there. She told me that she would never have considered even applying for that job. But now she did and guess what, yesterday was the announcement that she got it!”
“Bah! Most probably she saw the job offer before and was subconsciously thinking about this when the blackout happened. And because she believed she would get the job, she had the necessary confidence during the interview to get it. Does ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ ring a bell, Jeannie? Psychology is nothing more than mind-voodoo, but they do get some things right.” At least sometimes.
“And what about cousin Jake and his ex-wife Sarah? In their flash they were back together and they just started dating again.”
“Come on? That’s your proof? Those idiots have been on and off for the last 5 years. That they start dating again now does not mean that they will still be together when this imaginary day is here. Odds are they will separate in 5 weeks top.”
Jeannie shook her head again. “No, they really do want to make it work this time. They even go to counseling. They did see something beautiful in their flash and they want to make it come true. Why are you such an asshole, talking everything down?”
“Because it’s idiocy! It gives people false hope! And I can’t believe that people with more than one functioning brain cell go and change their life just because of this hallucinations. You are all acting like lemmings and do not even recognize how stupid this is.” Rodney almost felt nausea again. Thinking about the flash always got to him.
“And what is with my flash, Rodney? Why do you think I did see what I saw?”
Rodney laid down the potato and the knife, taking a deep sigh before answering. “That’s psychology 101 Jeannie. Nothing more. You saw yourself holding a picture which showed you as a bride and a man you don’t even know as the groom. Do I really have to spell it out for you?”
Jeannie closed her eyes for a moment, and Rodney hated himself a bit to cause her pain. “So you think my flash showed me being married because I’m still not over Kaleb?”
Rodney really hated to talk about these kinds of things, but it seemed inevitable. “I’m not implying that you are one of those women that only have one goal in life - being married. Quite the contrary. But the fucking bastard hurt you a lot and it’s ok to want something better, something normal. Even if you are way too smart to just be a wife and mother.”
“Wow, that was almost a compliment. And quite sweet actually. Just keep this up and your street cred as an Ogre will be gone in no time.” Contrary to her words Jeannie was smiling.
“I just wished I could change what happened then, Jeannie,” was his honest response.
She took his hands into hers and squeezed them tightly. “You did good. You left your high fly career plans behind and came back here to support me through the first years. And I don’t mean only the money. You were the best brother one could wish for and the best uncle ever. Madison is not missing her dad one bit.”
As usual Rodney was not good at receiving praise for being a nice person; it simply was not something he felt comfortable with. “I only did what was the right thing to do, Jeannie. And some people even think I could have done more. A real good brother most probably had taken a gun and forced the asshole to the altar.”
Jeannie snorted. “As if I would have married that spineless coward anyhow. It’s for the best that he ran away. Can you imagine me, married to an English Major? Living in Suburbia? I would have gone mad. I like my life as it is now. With Madison, my work and you. So no, there are no hidden subconscious longings in me to be married to a tall, dark and mysterious stranger.”
“If that’s true, why did you kick out ‘what’s his name’ after the flash?”
Jeannie rolled her eyes. “Dave and I were going nowhere fast. The flash just showed me how much time I was wasting with him. I know that there is someone else for me out there. Even if it turns out that it’s not the guy I saw in my flash. But life is too short to settle for second best. That’s what I got from the flash.”
“So why hooking up with the moron in the first place?”
“Duh! Because he was good in the sack,” was the nonchalant answer.
Rodney sputtered. “Jeannie, I don’t need to know that! TMI!”
“Don’t be such a prude. Anyhow let’s not get sidetracked here. You still haven’t told me why you are so hell-bent against the idea that the flashes are glimpses of the future?”
Rodney swallowed hard. “It can’t be the future Jeannie. It’s impossible.”
Honest bewilderment showed in Jeannie’s face. “I don’t believe you talking like that. You were never so dismissive of a new idea just because it’s unorthodox. This is just not you. And as long as you don’t give me a valid reason, I’ll believe in these flashes. It gave me hope and I will not allow you to destroy it.”
“But it’s false hope!” Rodney’s voice was filled with venom.
Jeannie squeezed his hands tight. “Mer, what’s going on? Talk to me.” Her eyes were searching his, trying to see every secret he was hiding. “Did your flash show you something bad? Or, or didn’t you have one?”
“Jeannie,” Rodney tried to protest.
“Oh my god you didn’t have one!” Jeannie was worried. “But that doesn’t mean anything. All those people who fear that not having a flash will mean they will be dead at the date - that’s stupid and you know it. Don’t you worry. Nothing will happen to you.”
It was Jeannie’s obvious distress that finally broke Rodney’s wall. He never wanted to speak about his flash but seeing Jeannie coming to the wrong conclusions was worse than talking about the stupid flash. That would hurt him more. And suddenly Rodney couldn’t stop to talk. “No, no! You got it wrong. I had a flash. So please don’t worry. But Jeannie, I know for a fact that these flashes are not the future. They can’t be!”
“Why not?”
“Because I was sitting in a fucking spacecraft! And I don’t mean a NASA model. And I was fighting bad Aliens. Just like the most ridiculous Science Fiction show you can imagine. That is not my future, that’s more like a childhood dream. So now you know that these flashes don’t come true!”
Jeannie was shocked at his outrage. Her arm went around his shoulders hugging him tightly. But instead of stopping the painful discussion she poked deeper. “Mer, that’s not all. I see that you are deeply hurt. Tell me everything. Maybe I can help?”
Rodney doubted that very much. But parts of his secret were in the open now and maybe it was best to get everything out. And so he started to tell his sister about the impossible flash. He didn’t leave out anything. And the funny part was it actually felt good to speak about this. Ok, so maybe not really good, but he felt a heavy weight taken from his chest.
Jeannie listened with rapt fascination, not even cutting in once. “And then I woke up. So tell me Jeannie, how likely is it that I’ll be out in space, saving planets in just one year? How likely is it that there will be this perfect guy who’ll be in love with me? This is so absurd that I’m reconsidering my intellect. My subconscious shouldn’t be that stupid.”
“Why shouldn’t there be a nice guy in your future?”
“Hello? You know me, don’t you? Rodney the Ogre? John… the guy, he was gorgeous and a god damn hero. Guys like him will only say ‘I love you’ to me if I’ll pay them to. Can we please agree that it was a hallucination created by my own stupidity and lack of oxygen?”
Jeannie shook her head. “No! I agree that what you saw sounds pretty unlikely.”
“Hah!” interrupted Rodney.
But Jeannie just went on, “Nevertheless, let’s for a second just forget about the surroundings. Maybe they are not so important. Or maybe you and him were in a kind of holographic game simulation. I don’t know. But I do know that you would only be stupid if you dismiss the flash just because it’s so unlikely. Focus on the important things.”
“Which would be?”
“The feelings. Did you listen to what you just described, Mer? It wasn’t just this guy saying these words. You felt the same. Have you ever felt the same before?”
Rodney shut his eyes for a second. “No. And that’s why it’s so impossible.”
“Quite the contrary. I think this proves that it will come true. How could you have a hallucination like this? And why shouldn’t there be a nice guy liking you? You are an acquired taste, I’ll give you that. You rush in and stomp where angels fear to treat. And people who only see your shell are thinking you are the greatest asshole on the whole planet. But people who are brave enough to look beneath the bluster see a nice guy loyal to the bone. So don’t give me this self-pitying crap that there will never be someone who loves you!”
“Ah…” Rodney started, not really knowing what to answer to that.
Jeannie just went on, “It’s your decision Mer. You can either deny this possible future or take a leap of faith. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.”
“Don’t you see how much it’s hurting me already? What will happen when I start to believe in this now, only to find out that it was a hallucination?”
Jeannie brought her right arm in front of his eyes. “Do you see the red scar beneath my wrist? I got it last week when I was touching the electric iron. Madison had used it and not switched it off. I didn’t know that. And guess what, I saw this exact scar in my flash. They do show our future! What you saw will happen. You’ll find this guy!”
Slowly hope was spreading inside of Rodney. Maybe his sister was right. Maybe it was possible. Maybe the flash was showing his future?
Flash Forward - Part 1