The Longest Night-1186
Another Longest Night has come, and has gone. My mind still finds itself too jumbled to make proper sense of the whole evening. All I can know for certain is that Naamah indeed held her hand in this night, whether to our good or our ill. Perhaps as always it is both, for just as love can hold its cruelties so can desire. Harder then, when to me they are that much sweeter for it.
Yet for all of Naamah's sweetness, my lord Kushiel's presence did not go unseen, changing form as it did throughout the evening. It was there in the kiss His priestess bestowed upon me, as harsh and commanding as a lash against skin. And there again as the game reached its end, with taunting and punishment and the shame that leads to repentance. But it was not until the lights of the fête were left far behind me, the solace of the Hameau in its place, that I felt the surest of His presence. Suffering, and then the gentle sleep of the forgiven.
And now another day dawns, another year unfolds before us. I will reflect later, I will think on where my path should lead and what it should entail. But for now my mind is so weary I would not know where to begin. I suppose I will begin where I am bid to, and seek out my confession soon. It leaves me time I suppose, to decide in what manner to unburden my heart and open it to Joie.