Most people wish that I ...
Most people wish that I were completely in their world.
No. That's not true. Most people don't care about my other world. It's just those that care, that want me completely in their world.
It's not so much now. It used to be more. When I was younger, people used to try to pull me into their world more. Or they used me as a messenger between their world and the other.
My parents used me to communicate with the hearing world from an early age on. I can't remember the first time I had to translate something for them. I always did it.
Other people tried to use me to tell my parents things. Especially bad things. Like that there wouldn't be Christmas money. When I was too young to even know what Christmas money was.
When I was nine, Clarissa started to try to pull me into her world. The world of music. I wanted to be part of that fascinating world. I wanted to be like Clarissa. I thought she was cool. She was so full of life and could play so wonderful music.
It took me nearly ten years to find out she was just using me. I was the daughter she never had. She wanted me to fullfill her dreams. She wanted me to do all the things she always wanted to do but never could. A musical career.
At the same time, my father tried to keep me in his world. The world of silence. Where music doesn't exist. He wanted me to be just like him. He wanted me for himself. He didn't want to share me with the rest of the world.
Even now, most of the music people want me to forget about the world of silence and live completely in the world of music. Some of my teachers at the Conservatory say I would make a good orchester clarinetist. They say that would be a much more safe career than what I am trying to do. They say what I want is performance art or something like that and has not much to do with music. They say, if I want to stay at the Music School I should play music. The other things are for the HdK. They say I have to choose.
But I don't want to choose. I grew up between two worlds. I can manage two worlds that are so different.
Most people wish I would choose a world to live in. But I won't do that.
Muse: Lara Bischoff
Fandom: Jenseits der Stille (Misc Movies)
Words: 421
No. That's not true. Most people don't care about my other world. It's just those that care, that want me completely in their world.
It's not so much now. It used to be more. When I was younger, people used to try to pull me into their world more. Or they used me as a messenger between their world and the other.
My parents used me to communicate with the hearing world from an early age on. I can't remember the first time I had to translate something for them. I always did it.
Other people tried to use me to tell my parents things. Especially bad things. Like that there wouldn't be Christmas money. When I was too young to even know what Christmas money was.
When I was nine, Clarissa started to try to pull me into her world. The world of music. I wanted to be part of that fascinating world. I wanted to be like Clarissa. I thought she was cool. She was so full of life and could play so wonderful music.
It took me nearly ten years to find out she was just using me. I was the daughter she never had. She wanted me to fullfill her dreams. She wanted me to do all the things she always wanted to do but never could. A musical career.
At the same time, my father tried to keep me in his world. The world of silence. Where music doesn't exist. He wanted me to be just like him. He wanted me for himself. He didn't want to share me with the rest of the world.
Even now, most of the music people want me to forget about the world of silence and live completely in the world of music. Some of my teachers at the Conservatory say I would make a good orchester clarinetist. They say that would be a much more safe career than what I am trying to do. They say what I want is performance art or something like that and has not much to do with music. They say, if I want to stay at the Music School I should play music. The other things are for the HdK. They say I have to choose.
But I don't want to choose. I grew up between two worlds. I can manage two worlds that are so different.
Most people wish I would choose a world to live in. But I won't do that.
Muse: Lara Bischoff
Fandom: Jenseits der Stille (Misc Movies)
Words: 421