Feb 09, 2006 10:45
As a child, I wanted to have normal parents like everyone else. And I wanted to become a cool woman like my aunt Clarissa.
My worst failures are connected to these.
Mama learned to bicycle for me. Because I wanted her to be able to do that. Because all the other mothers could bicycle. So, after Marie was born, she learned. In spite of her balance problems. And she loved it.
Until that accident.
I think Papa still blames me for that. We are much closer now and he doesn't show it that much anymore. But I think he still does.
I can't think it's my fault. It hurts too much to think that. But sometimes I think he might be right.
Another failure was to want to be like Clarissa. I always thought she was so cool. Doing fun things all day. Playing music. Games. Such things.
It took me years to find out that her life is pathetic. That it is a sad way of living to jump from project to project. To have nothing else to do than to sleep until the afternoon and go to clubs at night. She could have done more of her life.
I am glad I am not like her. We have one thing in common, Clarissa and I. The love for music and the clarinet. But that's about it. In everything else, I'm me. I'm probably more like my father than anyone thought few years ago.
Muse: Lara Bischoff
Fandom: Jenseits der Stille (Misc Movies)
Words: 245
mama,
tm,
papa,
past,
clarissa