Fic: For a Moment

Jul 29, 2009 00:04

Title: For a Moment
Characters:Tonks/Ginny
Prompt: Post-war, AU. Tonks didn't die, but Remus did. Ginny lends a hand helping Tonks raising Teddy. Soon, a relationship develops.
Word Count: 2830
Rating: R
Author's Note: written for megans_writing's wishlist at hp_wishes
Warning: I was really feeling the melodrama today when I wrote this. It borders on sappy but I'm hoping the humor makes up for anything that goes over the line. And yes, it's slash.


April 21, 2000
“Tonks!” Ginny backed through the door, her hands full of bags and boxes of every shape and size. Her wand was gripped in her hand, pointed at the larger box floating along behind her. “Mum has been shopping. Come help me with this, will you?”

There was no answer. That wasn’t odd, even though Remus had been dead for over a year. Tonks didn’t come down from her aeire much, no matter that the bulk of her sorrow had disappated. The only visitor she’d ever allowed was Ginny and that was because she hadn’t taken no for an answer.

“Teddy?” There was a stir from the back of the house but it was hard to tell if it was the little boy or the wind accompaning her into the house. “Guess what today is? I’ve brought presents.”

With no one coming to her aid or even making a stir at her announcement, Ginny grew concerned. She’d made sure to visit today of all days. Every holiday or special day so far had been hard for Tonks. Not only had she lost her husband and the father of her child, she had gained a wealth of scars that hadn’t disappeared no matter what face and body she took on. It was hard for her to carry on with the constant reminders. Every time Ginny came to the house and heard nothing in response to her greeting, she feared that the demons had gotten their claws too deeply into Tonks.

This time, she went to Teddy’s room first. The sweet little boy was growing up with too much stillness, too many tears. Molly had tried to get her to bring him back to the Burrow but Ginny just couldn’t do that to Tonks. She needed her son by her side or she would have lost everything.

The teal-haired boy lay in the tiny bed his father had crafted himself. Considering that Teddy wasn’t growing as fast as most little boys his age, he wouldn’t be moving out of it any time soon. He wasn’t stunted, just very small. Elfish, in fact. Ginny smiled as she looked down at the sleeping boy. He was such a lovely little boy, so calm and well-mannered. So unlike how she remembered her brothers being. His only concession to rebellion was the constant changing of his hair colour… and even that was normal with his genetics, Tonks often said.

Tucking one of the new small stuffed animals she’d bought for him into the crook of his arm, she left the sleeping boy in peace. Now to find his mother.

As always, dread filled Ginny’s chest as she walked up the stairs to the tower room. It hadn’t been a part of the house when Remus had been alive, appearing the day after Tonks had come home from St. Mungo’s. Thankfully she wasn’t spending all of her time up there any longer. Just most of it but they could work on that.

At the halfway mark, Ginny called out, “Tonks? It’s Ginny. I brought… presents. For Teddy. It’s his birthday today.”

Either she would be admitted to the room or she wouldn’t. As she began to climb again, she went over the things she wanted to say to Tonks. Things she had held off saying for quite some time now. But it was today or it wasn’t at all. She couldn’t keep treating Tonks like she was made of spun glass, prone to breaking at any sign of stress. It wasn’t doing them any good.

“Come on up.” The reply was faint, tingued with tiredness, but it was a balm to the worry that this silence fostered.

At the doorway, Ginny surveyed the scene. Tonks sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by books of every size and shape. She appeared to be looking for something specific but it was hard to tell what it might be exactly from the spines Ginny could read from here. Distortions of the Soul… Healing Balms for the Inner Eye… What Every Witch Should Know About Needlepoint… The Five Uses for Toad Livers and How to Acquire Them… Helping Our Children Grow Into Great Witches and Wizards.

“Sorry for the mess. I’ve been… studying.” Tonks kept her head bent down over the book in her lap even though it was evident from her posture that she wasn’t really reading it. That wasn’t a good sign.

Making her way through the maze of books, Ginny sank down beside Tonks and took a limp hand in one of hers. The other traced the long scar that ran from her palm all the way to the tip of her elbow. This was the injury that had worried the MediWitches so badly after the battle. If only they had known it was the least of their worries. Well, not their worries that day. They hadn’t cared that their patient suffered from a broken heart and a withered soul. All they cared about was the fact that she walked out of the doors of St. Mungos of her own volition.

“What are you studying?” Ginny’s eyes took in everything. The books thrown in a haphazard pattern… a hurried examination without finding the results she wanted right away. Tonks’ curved posture as if she were trying to protect her front… something was eating away at Tonks, making her sick with worry and quite possibly fear. The fact that she wouldn’t look up although she wasn’t pulling away from Ginny’s light touch… the emotion on her face was too raw to share but she might be willing to talk about it if treated with care.

“Everything,” came the whisper.

“Are you planning on becoming a professor? Is that the sudden interest in learning everything all at once?”

“Your mother sent me an owl.”

Instantly, Ginny knew what was wrong. Without caring if her friend liked what she was doing, she lifted a hand to Tonks chin and forced her to look up. “I would have told you myself but sending an owl seemed so crass and unfeeling. Besides, Mum wanted to go shopping and I couldn’t deny her the right to buy her… Teddy some presents for his second birthday. He’s grown out of most of his clothes even if he isn’t doing it very fast.”

The ravaged face looking back at her was chalk white, making the reddish scars stand out all the more. The eyes that Ginny remembered being full of mirth and good humor were now dull and swimming with tears. With the pad of her thumb, Ginny traced the pale lips that never smiled anymore.

“You’re going to leave. I don’t… I don’t know what to do. How to be a mother. You’ve taken up all the slack for me and now….” The tears began to spill out of her eyes. “I’m not ready to be alone.”

Ginny pulled the woman into her lap, holding her as tightly as she dared. Sometimes Tonks couldn’t handle being hugged, a tortured reminder of the time she’d been held down and forced to watch as her husband was killed. The nightmares that haunted her, forcing her to cry out in the night, were the only clues that Ginny had to what really happened. Everything else was speculation because no one else had been around.

“I’m not leaving you,” she whispered into the mousy brown hair now streaked with white. All her pretty words were lost now in the emotion that was clawing at her heart. They all came out in a rush as she tried to show Tonks her heart.

“I never want to leave you. That’s what I came to talk to you about today. I think it’ll be better for you to make a new start. Both of you. Teddy needs playmates and there are at least two other woman on the team with children. He can go to the park. It’s beautiful. I walked through it the other day. There are all sorts of things for him to play on, plus a lovely sand box. And there’s this little house near the stadium. Plenty of room for all three of us. Please say you’ll come, Tonks. I can’t bear the thought of leaving you. Visiting wouldn’t be the same. I want you with me.”

Tears were saturating Ginny’s shirt but still Tonks said nothing. It was difficult but Ginny gave her this time of silence. She’d said everything she could think to say except for the one last thing but she was keeping that to herself for a bit. It was the deal breaker. If Tonks couldn’t accept what she’d said just now, this other would send her away for good.

With a prayer that she’d done the right thing, Ginny pushed Tonks gently away just enough that she could see her face. Sobs still made the woman shiver but she seemed relatively composed. She’d been an Auror, after all. Though the backbone of iron was tarnished a bit, it was still in place.

“You want us to go with you?” The question was quiet, alarmingly so.

“Frankly, I won’t go without you. I suppose I could commute but Gwenog isn’t keen on the idea. She likes her team to be close by. Apparating so soon after practice has proven to be detrimental in the past. And you know I hate to Floo.”

Tonks nodded, acting almost as if they were discussing what they might have for dinner and had finally reached a consensus. It was all a bit too normal for Ginny after the past moment of panic. She wanted to see Tonks’ face just to make sure that she’d been understood. This was too monumental to be left to chance.

“You brought presents for Teddy? He’ll like that.”

“And for you. A Harpies jersey. It seemed… but I can take it back if you don’t like it. And I brought a cake.”

“You always do think of everything.”

There was a shift going on but she couldn’t understand where Tonks was headed with this conversation. All she wanted was for Tonks to say she was coming along on this new journey. As soon as she heard the word, she could tell her… everything.

“Why don’t we go downstairs? Teddy will be up from his nap soon and then we can celebrate.” Ginny tugged at the hand she still held. “Come on. Come with me.”

Tonks looked up, her eyes shining with life. It had been coming back in fits and starts but something would push it away again, giving her the dead look of a women who thought her life was over. Ginny held her breath, afraid that it would disappear if she let out her breath wrong.

“I will come with you.”

“Fine. I hope you like brambleberry ice cream. I know how much Teddy likes colourful things and it was the most vibrant ice cream I could find.” She was rambling but couldn’t make herself stop. If she stopped, Tonks might tell her she wanted to stay here. Better to keep talking than have her heart broken. “But I got vanilla cake because I knew you’d like it the best. He won’t eat the cake, just the frosting. It’s plenty sugary. I tasted it myself. And there’s a present there from you just in case you weren’t able… what?”

“You’ve taken such good care of us. I didn’t want you to miss out on your last year of Hogwarts but I’m glad you stayed nearby. It would have been… harder without you here. And now you’re trying to make Teddy’s birthday something special.”

“I love… him.” You. “He’s like… my nephew.” My own son. “How could I not… buy him presents?” Want you both with me forever.

As Tonks pulled Ginny’s hand to lay it flat against her chest over her heart, she smiled. A true smile that reached her eyes. “I know you love him. Every time you look at him, I see that you love him. It’s in your eyes. And I couldn’t have done this without you. Nor do I want to.”

Ginny nodded carefully. Maybe it wasn’t Tonks that was made of spun glass. Maybe she was the one with a delicate core. It felt like she might shatter with just a word from the woman in front of her. Love was a harsh mistress sometimes, demanding everything before she gave anything back in return.

“You have the chance of a lifetime, Gin. Why have us tag along? You might find that you want that new start. We’d only hold you back.”

The heartbeat under her fingertips began to speed up. Ginny licked her lips, wishing she could get the words right. “You could never hold me back. It was your idea for me to go to the trials. My mother would have had kittens if she had known where I meant to got that day. You’re the one who believed in me when I didn’t have anyone else.”

“Harry told you to go, same as me.”

“Let me rephrase that. You’re the one who believed in me when I didn’t have anyone else who wants to spend time with me. You know Harry is having too much fun to give one more thought to me than he has to. I’m the little sister, safe at home. He’s off playing Death Eater Hunter.”

“And doing a good job of it, if I’ve heard right. Perhaps when he’s done -“

Hair flew into her eyes and mouth as she shook her head emphatically. “No. He’s not like that to me. I don’t love him like a woman should love someone she wants to keep with her forever. He’s like one of my brothers.”

“And I’m a sister?”

“No! Where would you ever get that idea?”

Tonks brought Ginny’s hand up to her lips and kissed the palm. Her lips lingered a moment before she brought the hand back down to her chest, this time lower so that it rested on her breast. “Don’t fash yourself. I just wanted to hear you say it out loud. Sometimes I can read you as if I’d written the book myself. And then you shut yourself up so tight I’m not sure I understand you at all.”

Talking wasn’t working well for her, but since Tonks opened the door to more, Ginny decided to open her feelings wide open. She took the hand not being held in sweet captivity and threaded her fingers through the soft hair falling over the thin shoulder. As she leaned in for the kiss she’d been dreaming about for the last six months, it dawned on her that Tonks wasn’t moving away. In fact, she was moving forward.

The first contact wasn’t anything like she’d dreamed it would be. With only a few kisses with Harry to guide her way through this territory, she wasn’t expecting the electricity and heat that shot through her at this gentle caress.

“Ginny?” Tonks asked against her mouth, pulling away only ever so slightly. “You said you brought ice cream?”

“Damn!” Ginny attempted to jump up, a very hard thing to do with a woman all cozied up in her lap. There was no way she could get Tonks to move, even with a nip at her ear. “I put it on the front table. Let me up. I really don’t want to have to clean up brambleberry goo.”

“We’ve a couple moments before it’s a complete waste. Hush.”

For those couple of moments, Ginny didn’t think of anything but the lips touching hers. It took a cold draft on her back before she even realized her shirt was missing, so intent on what feelings Tonks’ lips envoked against hers.

“I’ll come with you,” Tonks whispered, repeating herself with a much stronger voice now. “I don’t need a new start. A new house would be nice but I’ve had the new start for awhile now. It just took me some time to realize what I had.”

Something in Ginny melted. The core she’d assumed was glass turned out to be ice that melted as soon as she realized what Tonks was saying. “My contract says I can reserve a few seats at each match. Will you be there, cheering for me?”

“Wearing that jersey you got for me.” With one final, binding kiss, Tonks stood to her feet. “Cheering for my girlfriend. The best flyer on the whole team.”

Ginny kissed the hand that Tonks held out before standing up herself, grinning as if her face might split into two. She hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Maybe never, if she thought about it. Not like this. “If you’re going to cheer for me, we’ll have to change that line to the best flyer in the whole league. And I can’t wait to look up and see my girlfriend,” she coloured with excitement just saying the words, “wearing my number.”

“With pride, darling. With pride.”

2009, tonks, weasley

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