Evom no?
Yeah...i'm detached.
Uprooted.
Unplugged.
Disengaged.
I'm just kind of waiting to replant myself, with no idea when or exactly how i'll be going about it.
When i don't feel close to anyone in particular, it becomes easier for me to feel at once closer to everyone in general and nobody at all.
Around others, i'm usually somewhere between a certain outgoing desperation and inner limbo; i feel like the white noise punctuating an empty channel in lieu of a signal to hold onto, to decode and amplify and become sweet music or informative, indispensible news or divine, world-lightening laughter.
I always used to be able to just switch myself onto a stream like that, feeling connected and enlivened by the sheer awareness of being acknowledged and acknowledging back.
I've been lying awake a lot.
Being left to the fuzz i hear now when I'm alone, i realize that I've had a lot of time for building strong, steady connections. I am led to regret those that i took for granted, those that were squelched when i selfishly thought i was searching for the sounds i wanted to hear.
People must only be an end in themselves...
Now the nights don't go by the way they used to.
Uprooted.
Unplugged.
Disengaged.
I'm just kind of waiting to replant myself, with no idea when or exactly how i'll be going about it.
When i don't feel close to anyone in particular, it becomes easier for me to feel at once closer to everyone in general and nobody at all.
Around others, i'm usually somewhere between a certain outgoing desperation and inner limbo; i feel like the white noise punctuating an empty channel in lieu of a signal to hold onto, to decode and amplify and become sweet music or informative, indispensible news or divine, world-lightening laughter.
I always used to be able to just switch myself onto a stream like that, feeling connected and enlivened by the sheer awareness of being acknowledged and acknowledging back.
I've been lying awake a lot.
Being left to the fuzz i hear now when I'm alone, i realize that I've had a lot of time for building strong, steady connections. I am led to regret those that i took for granted, those that were squelched when i selfishly thought i was searching for the sounds i wanted to hear.
People must only be an end in themselves...
Now the nights don't go by the way they used to.