fuck you ruby tuesday, fuck you!
in case you couldnt tell by the subject of this entry, i just got home from work. tongiht was the shittiest night ever. Jenn Morgan got fired which was completely uncalled for. I think melissa morgan and krystel made a bad judgement call on that one. the ngiht was crap, the to go station was flooded from the goddamn rain. fucking maine weather. i only made like $12.00 in tips and i was cut after almost 2 hours after i closed my last check. then i got home and read casey's away message and it said she was out with ellen, ive come to live with this. Im upset because i called her last night, and she never returned my call, im upset that i never get the chance to hang out with them anymore, and when/if i ever do get to hang out with them, i dont know whats going on with them because they dont tell me anything anymore. I feel like me and casey are drifting. those of you who read this may not think much of that last statement, but for me, to even think that is bringing me to tears. cas and i grew up together. she and i have been best friends since kidnergarten, and now she spends all her free time with ellen. I think its great that the two of them have gotten closer and they're having fun with each other, i really am, i just think to myself, "wow, i used to be ellen. i used to have that kind of fun with my best friend, now im sitting at home writing in my livejournal." i dont dare call them, they're probably in portland and dont want to talk to me. last time i called them when they were together, they ended up hanging up on me. I could take the attitude of, "fuck them, who cares?" but i care. i really care, i want to be part of the group, i want to be with my best friends, and im willing to make the effort but im not going to put myself out there if they dont want anything to do with me. casey's info says, and i quote: "The Two Musketeers: like Ellen says, we down-sized." im crying right now because that makes me feel like im not wanted by them.
(talk with mom)
ok, im back. mom doesnt know what to make of the casey/ellen situation either, she made some points, but i dont think they're plausible. I wish I could figure out why they're doing this. was it something i did? was it something i said? am i a bad person? I want to talk ot them about it, but i dont want it to seem like an attack, i dont want them to get defensive while im attempting to hold a conversation. mom says that since i already called casey and left her a voicemail i should wait for casey to call me back. its just hard. they're not calling so they must not want me around, i just want to know why. they're my sisters, we've spent so much time together and we've had such great conversations, but now it seems like im not importnant anymore. i know i was going through a stressful time with the musical, and according to casey, diana and ellen, i turned into a bitch, but the musical's over, i think im a lot happier now then i was before. do they still think im a bitch? maybe they really dont want me around.
I hate how pretty much everytime i write in livejournal i have some negative thing to say. its not that im looking for pity, or that i want need everyone to know my problems, im just venting and looking for any words of wisdom.
if casey and/or ellen reads this, i love you. im not making an attack, im just confused and hurt, and i want to know why this is happening. i just really want to communicate.
Im out. peace.
~Missy
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilzation in between."- Oscar Wilde
(talk with mom)
ok, im back. mom doesnt know what to make of the casey/ellen situation either, she made some points, but i dont think they're plausible. I wish I could figure out why they're doing this. was it something i did? was it something i said? am i a bad person? I want to talk ot them about it, but i dont want it to seem like an attack, i dont want them to get defensive while im attempting to hold a conversation. mom says that since i already called casey and left her a voicemail i should wait for casey to call me back. its just hard. they're not calling so they must not want me around, i just want to know why. they're my sisters, we've spent so much time together and we've had such great conversations, but now it seems like im not importnant anymore. i know i was going through a stressful time with the musical, and according to casey, diana and ellen, i turned into a bitch, but the musical's over, i think im a lot happier now then i was before. do they still think im a bitch? maybe they really dont want me around.
I hate how pretty much everytime i write in livejournal i have some negative thing to say. its not that im looking for pity, or that i want need everyone to know my problems, im just venting and looking for any words of wisdom.
if casey and/or ellen reads this, i love you. im not making an attack, im just confused and hurt, and i want to know why this is happening. i just really want to communicate.
Im out. peace.
~Missy
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilzation in between."- Oscar Wilde