Future.
As I'm coming closer to this life of mine at FDU I'm now faced with the decision of what to do when i graduate. I have the option of going to grad school but the one i desire is in California. I also will be needing to get a job.
The jobs i have found have a minute relevance to that which i've learned in college. Most of them rely on skills i actually had or developed before and outside of college. Most of which involve photoshop and other programs.
Aside from being afraid of having to leave the security of college which protected me from the real world. I'm afraid to make that first step because I'm afraid failing. I don't to try a job and end up screwing up because of my own lack of ability.
For college i would be going to the other side of the US. I would be leaving my friends, family, and girl friend behind in search of higher learning. I truly believe i need this education but the problem is i care too much about them. I want to be able to see and hold my friends and family. They are my world and i seem to be lost with out them.
If i goto California i would have to live there without a car, id have to work harder than i ever have with my major. Id also have to decide what i really want my career to be on. Would i want to be a video game animation person or a 3D Modeler for various things.
Somethings happened today that i don't want to talk about that have left me feeling very alone. With the road i walk on quickly coming to a fork i find that i wish i could hold some ones hand when i do make that choice. I feel as if i'm just not ready to grow up.
The jobs i have found have a minute relevance to that which i've learned in college. Most of them rely on skills i actually had or developed before and outside of college. Most of which involve photoshop and other programs.
Aside from being afraid of having to leave the security of college which protected me from the real world. I'm afraid to make that first step because I'm afraid failing. I don't to try a job and end up screwing up because of my own lack of ability.
For college i would be going to the other side of the US. I would be leaving my friends, family, and girl friend behind in search of higher learning. I truly believe i need this education but the problem is i care too much about them. I want to be able to see and hold my friends and family. They are my world and i seem to be lost with out them.
If i goto California i would have to live there without a car, id have to work harder than i ever have with my major. Id also have to decide what i really want my career to be on. Would i want to be a video game animation person or a 3D Modeler for various things.
Somethings happened today that i don't want to talk about that have left me feeling very alone. With the road i walk on quickly coming to a fork i find that i wish i could hold some ones hand when i do make that choice. I feel as if i'm just not ready to grow up.