Everyone wants someone to think they're better than what they are.
I feel so left out today.
I always feel left out at church -- I'm sorry I have to type that into a stupid box on a webpage to voice it, but it's just now coming through my fingers as thoughts. I felt left out of life and friends, when everyone is going out to lunch and I...I'm going to work. I never get to see these people, and I really truthfully don't have many friends. I know people, they add me on livejournal because at some point we said words to each other, but really we are not friends and they don't personally care about me. If a car hit me, they would feel sad because it's sad when people die.
Now, I feel left out of older friendships I had thought were established. I guess I was really alone when I thought people cared. Why would you hug me and profess love for me, when I was really a stand-in for someone else? You told me once you admired me...that I was your role model. You don't know how I took that to heart.
I'm not blaming others for "leaving me out" -- I just feel apart and adrift.
At least there's a show tonight in Birmingham, and I can watch people dance and feel the sound waves rocking through my chest, or maybe just sneak out and find Marcia and cry.
I always feel left out at church -- I'm sorry I have to type that into a stupid box on a webpage to voice it, but it's just now coming through my fingers as thoughts. I felt left out of life and friends, when everyone is going out to lunch and I...I'm going to work. I never get to see these people, and I really truthfully don't have many friends. I know people, they add me on livejournal because at some point we said words to each other, but really we are not friends and they don't personally care about me. If a car hit me, they would feel sad because it's sad when people die.
Now, I feel left out of older friendships I had thought were established. I guess I was really alone when I thought people cared. Why would you hug me and profess love for me, when I was really a stand-in for someone else? You told me once you admired me...that I was your role model. You don't know how I took that to heart.
I'm not blaming others for "leaving me out" -- I just feel apart and adrift.
At least there's a show tonight in Birmingham, and I can watch people dance and feel the sound waves rocking through my chest, or maybe just sneak out and find Marcia and cry.