[2PM+KARA | 011.] the way it goes
the way it goes
wooyoung/hara
pg
angst; ar
[in sum]: hara thinks that wooyoung can be a little less careful about their relationship. but wooyoung keeps defending them with secrecy.
prompt from milkpoet:
Ferdinand: Why do you look so sad?
Marianne: Because you speak to me in words and I look at you with feelings.
-- Pierrot le fou (1965)
sorry for the cliche!plot. i was immensely distracted by the kara scandal.
for kpopvalentines. original here
the way it goes
"i heard you're going to be on the idol show" says wooyoung over the phone.
there are no hello's or how-are-you's.
"yeah" says hara, cupping a hand over her mouth and the lower end of the phone. "aren't you going to be on the show too?"
wooyoung sighs, deep and heavy.
"that's the problem" wooyoung explains, impatience making his voice all whiny. "there are tons of people that don't know about us. what if..."
"i'll be careful. we don't even get to spend that much time these days..."
"it only takes one mistake, hara."
wooyoung's voice can be really cold sometimes. hara tries not to take it to heart.
"i know" hara croaks. "still, it's better than not being able to see each other for a while, isn't it?"
wooyoung sighs again. hara wonders if he knows how many times he does this when they're together.
"i think it'll be worse."
+
as expected, there are a lot of idols on the show. hara has to greet at least twenty sunbaes and receive greetings from twice as many hoobaes. it gets really confusing, but through the crowd, she quickly spies wooyoung, surrounded by his fellow one day members.
hara inches forward through the sea of bodies. as she does, she imagines that wooyoung's seen her approaching from the corner of his eye. but he doesn't turn to look at her. not even a polite, guarded greeting that everyone gives each other.
jokwon notices hara first and they exchange happy hellos. very naturally, she turns to wooyoung and junho, who are standing next to jokwon.
"hello" hara says, lips curled into a shy smile and eyes sparkling with delight.
"hey" says junho, wiggling his fingers in greeting. junho's eyes shift to wooyoung because he's one of the few that do know about them. so do hara's.
but all wooyoung does is give a curt nod.
hara knows wooyoung's just being careful, but the brush-off hurts either way.
+
there are certain things hara has to withstand if she's going to be a celebrity. there are the endless complaints from fans, the malicious rumors, the harsh anti-fans, twisted truths in the news. the list goes on and on.
but during the show, the typical question comes and hara finds herself unprepared.
"wooyoung-sshi, do you have a girlfriend right now?"
wooyoung smiles, showing teeth, which is rare. it makes his cheeks dimple slightly and hara's too absorbed in that smile to think about wooyoung's obvious answer.
"no, i don't" says wooyoung without missing a beat. and hara's feet stumble over nothing. of course it's the given answer. no idol will ever admit to having a girlfriend or boyfriend without an okay from his or her company. hara would do the same in wooyoung's situation. sure.
but the answer still puts a bitter taste at the back of hara's mouth, makes her grit her teeth, and causes her to clench her fists so tight that her knuckles turn white.
+
the worst part of their fight is that neither thinks that he or she is in the wrong. hara thinks that she deserves some kind of perfunctory apology for the obvious shot to her pride. wooyoung thinks that it's a given answer, that hara should have known from the start that they would never be able to go public.
still, as hara cries to herself in the bathroom stall of the broadcasting station, she hates how she's still feeling so much for wooyoung, how much she still wants to crawl into his arms, how much she still wants to kiss him - everything that she's held back. worse yet, she knows that wooyoung is trying to protect them, that he loves her and wants this relationship like she does.
the tears fall nevertheless. because wooyoung always talks to her in words, while she's constantly trying to speak to wooyoung in feelings.
+
when she's done crying, hara steps out of the bathroom with a little less make-up, with just a little more red around her eyes.
"you okay?" nicole asks. she's one of the few that know about her relationship as well.
nicole rubs hara's back, worriedly.
hara smiles, showing her teeth which is something she often does.
"of course" hara says, not hesitating once. "i'm fine. i'm completely fine."
just like that, day by day, hara gets better at lying through her teeth.
wooyoung/hara
pg
angst; ar
[in sum]: hara thinks that wooyoung can be a little less careful about their relationship. but wooyoung keeps defending them with secrecy.
prompt from milkpoet:
Ferdinand: Why do you look so sad?
Marianne: Because you speak to me in words and I look at you with feelings.
-- Pierrot le fou (1965)
sorry for the cliche!plot. i was immensely distracted by the kara scandal.
for kpopvalentines. original here
the way it goes
"i heard you're going to be on the idol show" says wooyoung over the phone.
there are no hello's or how-are-you's.
"yeah" says hara, cupping a hand over her mouth and the lower end of the phone. "aren't you going to be on the show too?"
wooyoung sighs, deep and heavy.
"that's the problem" wooyoung explains, impatience making his voice all whiny. "there are tons of people that don't know about us. what if..."
"i'll be careful. we don't even get to spend that much time these days..."
"it only takes one mistake, hara."
wooyoung's voice can be really cold sometimes. hara tries not to take it to heart.
"i know" hara croaks. "still, it's better than not being able to see each other for a while, isn't it?"
wooyoung sighs again. hara wonders if he knows how many times he does this when they're together.
"i think it'll be worse."
+
as expected, there are a lot of idols on the show. hara has to greet at least twenty sunbaes and receive greetings from twice as many hoobaes. it gets really confusing, but through the crowd, she quickly spies wooyoung, surrounded by his fellow one day members.
hara inches forward through the sea of bodies. as she does, she imagines that wooyoung's seen her approaching from the corner of his eye. but he doesn't turn to look at her. not even a polite, guarded greeting that everyone gives each other.
jokwon notices hara first and they exchange happy hellos. very naturally, she turns to wooyoung and junho, who are standing next to jokwon.
"hello" hara says, lips curled into a shy smile and eyes sparkling with delight.
"hey" says junho, wiggling his fingers in greeting. junho's eyes shift to wooyoung because he's one of the few that do know about them. so do hara's.
but all wooyoung does is give a curt nod.
hara knows wooyoung's just being careful, but the brush-off hurts either way.
+
there are certain things hara has to withstand if she's going to be a celebrity. there are the endless complaints from fans, the malicious rumors, the harsh anti-fans, twisted truths in the news. the list goes on and on.
but during the show, the typical question comes and hara finds herself unprepared.
"wooyoung-sshi, do you have a girlfriend right now?"
wooyoung smiles, showing teeth, which is rare. it makes his cheeks dimple slightly and hara's too absorbed in that smile to think about wooyoung's obvious answer.
"no, i don't" says wooyoung without missing a beat. and hara's feet stumble over nothing. of course it's the given answer. no idol will ever admit to having a girlfriend or boyfriend without an okay from his or her company. hara would do the same in wooyoung's situation. sure.
but the answer still puts a bitter taste at the back of hara's mouth, makes her grit her teeth, and causes her to clench her fists so tight that her knuckles turn white.
+
the worst part of their fight is that neither thinks that he or she is in the wrong. hara thinks that she deserves some kind of perfunctory apology for the obvious shot to her pride. wooyoung thinks that it's a given answer, that hara should have known from the start that they would never be able to go public.
still, as hara cries to herself in the bathroom stall of the broadcasting station, she hates how she's still feeling so much for wooyoung, how much she still wants to crawl into his arms, how much she still wants to kiss him - everything that she's held back. worse yet, she knows that wooyoung is trying to protect them, that he loves her and wants this relationship like she does.
the tears fall nevertheless. because wooyoung always talks to her in words, while she's constantly trying to speak to wooyoung in feelings.
+
when she's done crying, hara steps out of the bathroom with a little less make-up, with just a little more red around her eyes.
"you okay?" nicole asks. she's one of the few that know about her relationship as well.
nicole rubs hara's back, worriedly.
hara smiles, showing her teeth which is something she often does.
"of course" hara says, not hesitating once. "i'm fine. i'm completely fine."
just like that, day by day, hara gets better at lying through her teeth.