01. [Video.]
[For a moment, the screen is filled with a perplexing, looming view of solid black. There's the typical crackling and pops of the microphone picking up subtle background noises and posture shifts, but it's still several seconds of virtually nothing on the screen at all. Then, there's a blur of black dangling down that looks suspiciously like...hair?]
[Hair indeed--it's actually one of his longer bangs that is now swaying crazily like a pendulum. After another second, his entire face fills the frame, looking very...well. Confused. There's more crackling as his hands, off screen, attempt to straighten the device so that he may back away from it. Seemingly satisfied, he gives a short nod of satisfaction and steps back.]
SOLDIER 1st class Zack on the j---!
[The device tilts at a sharp right angle, and the threat of falling quickly becomes more of a reality. There's a brief glimpse of some sort of ceiling and sparse furnishings, followed by a panicked flurry of hands and a loud thump. After a few seconds, he slowly picks it back up, holding it further away from himself.]
Boy oh boy. Okay, let's try this again. I'm Zack, and I'm a little unclear on the objective here? Wherever 'here' is...
[There's a sudden click and the screen goes to fuzz. The faint sounds of "O-oh come on!" can be heard through the static, along with the frantic sound of mindless fiddling. Then the screen goes black entirely and cuts the transmission--but not before a "gimme a break!" is heard.]