Meta: Asexuality and Fanfic
By 
teahigh and
lap_otter
Asexuality and Fanfic
Otter and Tea are two (of the many, we're sure) members of the Sherlock fandom who consider themselves to be in the grey-area of asexuality. Being grey and being in an environment that is full of awesome, sexy, smutty fanworks, it may beg the question (and in some cases, has done) why we're even here if we're asexual. Surely we can't get any enjoyment out of these fanworks, right?
Wrong. This is a little meta post written by the two of us that explains why - and how - we're still able to enjoy explicit fanworks despite being on the asexuality end of the sexuality spectrum. Perhaps many of these feelings are feelings you yourselves share. Perhaps this will provide insight to how people who don't necessarily consider themselves sexual can still enjoy fics that feature heavy sexual undertones or even explicit sex scenes. Mostly, we just thought it was interesting, and maybe you will, too.
We'll start with brief introductions:
Otter: I'm grey-a, which covers a wide spectrum of possible identities; for me it means that I don't experience attraction to people, but that I do have a libido and I do have sex with people (well, I say "people"; really just the one person). I'm only just becoming comfortable with this identity after struggling with it for several months, and I read sexy fanfiction.
Tea: I also consider myself in the grey area of asexuality. I’ve identified as an asexual for a few years now, but only just recently started identifying as “grey area.” I have little-to-no sexdrive (0 - 1. 1 is on a good day) though I am capable of feeling attraction, albeit rarely. I also read (and occasionally write) sexy fanfiction!
Otter Says:
Most of the fanfiction I consume, and (so far) all of the fanfiction I create is sexy in one way or another. In most cases, sexy fanfic isn't about the "sexy," for me. Or, well, it is, but in a different way. As I said, I do have a libido, but the experience of reading and enjoying a sexual fic, even if I find it sexy or arousing, is completely different from my experience of arousal in other contexts. Although trying to find words for HOW exactly it's different is proving damn near impossible. Which, in fact, is okay; sexuality is bound up in a lot of questions, and in my experience, as soon as you think you've found the answers, the answers and/or the questions all change into something entirely different. It's okay not to know.
I say this all the time, and I usually attribute the quote to John Green, but a Google search only turns up me, so maybe I made it up. Anyway the quote is "Fiction is a gateway to understanding reality." Most commercially published fiction doesn't do much to address sex, or if it does, it does so obliquely, shallowly, or shamefully. Fanfiction is a place where many people feel safe to express desire and explore kinks, and the same is true of me: empathy and fanfiction allows me to explore my own (a)sexuality in a safe and healthy way, with friends and a community there to support me.
Tea Says:
I have been asked about my sexuality both offline and online - online almost always in fandom communities. A question I’ve heard a few times now is, “Why do you read/write explicit fanfiction if you don’t like sex?” Despite my lack of interest in engaging in sexual activities, I still find sex fascinating (and also a little gross, because I am secretly eight years old. But also because sex kind of is gross if you think about it.)
The type of fanfics I read and try to write often revolve more around relationship dynamics than the physical act of sex itself. Obviously sex will usually play a large part of this. I enjoy fics with less-than-good relationships, or relationships I would never, ever want to be in, because I find them more interesting to read and write and at times can connect with them better than the everything-worked-out! ones (not that those ones are bad, and if I’m in the right mood I really enjoy them.) My experience in relationships is verging on non-existent, and my experience in good, healthy relationships is zero. I like exploring how relationships can change when you throw physicality into the mix. I also think, in a way, exploring fictional characters’ sexuality is a way of sort of exploring my own, or working out my own. In writing fanfic I have learned how to communicate with potential partners about what they can expect in a relationship with me, and how I feel about sex. It is, admittedly, something I’m still working on and still learning how to do, but I feel I have a clearer idea of how to approach it now, and I owe a lot of that to both reading and writing fanfic that explores not only sex in general, but a character’s sexuality.
Although I tend prefer plottier fics in which sex may feature, I do sometimes read fics intended specifically to arouse. The odd time I do read one, it’s mostly because I need help writing. Reading different sex scenes helps me develop my own characterizations and writing skills when it comes to writing my own sex scenes, what I think will work for them in my fic and what won’t.
However, I can enjoy reading explict sex scenes because I enjoy reading about these characters in situations we don’t get a chance to see. I like reading what is different from Fic A to Fic B, and if and how they both still read as in-character. These characters are fun and interesting, and also I do find them attractive (I think I’m forever doomed to have a bit of a girly-crush on Sherlock Holmes.) While I might not necessarily get off on reading explicit sex scenes or PWP, I do enjoy reading different interpretations to sexual situations with these characters that - as far as we know - don’t engage in sexual activity with one another.
We Say:
People outside of fandom seem to struggle with the concept of fanfic. Talking to people who don’t read or write it, we’ve often heard “But it’s just porn!” and while that can be the case, there are fics ranging from gen to explicit that explore much more than “just porn”. Sex is a huge part of a lot of people's lives, and it can shape a character, how they feel about themselves, how they feel about others, how they feel about their situation and circumstances. It's also a way to communicate that is unlike any other form of communication. And while we enjoy fics that are written solely with the intent to arouse, fandom and fanfic is a lot more than that and allows people to explore relationships, sex, creativity and any number of other things with characters they recognize, which means it can be appealing to everyone, no matter what their sexuality (or lack thereof) is.
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. You can comment there using OpenID or read comments (
so far) made there.
teahigh and
lap_otter
Asexuality and Fanfic
Otter and Tea are two (of the many, we're sure) members of the Sherlock fandom who consider themselves to be in the grey-area of asexuality. Being grey and being in an environment that is full of awesome, sexy, smutty fanworks, it may beg the question (and in some cases, has done) why we're even here if we're asexual. Surely we can't get any enjoyment out of these fanworks, right?
Wrong. This is a little meta post written by the two of us that explains why - and how - we're still able to enjoy explicit fanworks despite being on the asexuality end of the sexuality spectrum. Perhaps many of these feelings are feelings you yourselves share. Perhaps this will provide insight to how people who don't necessarily consider themselves sexual can still enjoy fics that feature heavy sexual undertones or even explicit sex scenes. Mostly, we just thought it was interesting, and maybe you will, too.
We'll start with brief introductions:
Otter: I'm grey-a, which covers a wide spectrum of possible identities; for me it means that I don't experience attraction to people, but that I do have a libido and I do have sex with people (well, I say "people"; really just the one person). I'm only just becoming comfortable with this identity after struggling with it for several months, and I read sexy fanfiction.
Tea: I also consider myself in the grey area of asexuality. I’ve identified as an asexual for a few years now, but only just recently started identifying as “grey area.” I have little-to-no sexdrive (0 - 1. 1 is on a good day) though I am capable of feeling attraction, albeit rarely. I also read (and occasionally write) sexy fanfiction!
Otter Says:
Most of the fanfiction I consume, and (so far) all of the fanfiction I create is sexy in one way or another. In most cases, sexy fanfic isn't about the "sexy," for me. Or, well, it is, but in a different way. As I said, I do have a libido, but the experience of reading and enjoying a sexual fic, even if I find it sexy or arousing, is completely different from my experience of arousal in other contexts. Although trying to find words for HOW exactly it's different is proving damn near impossible. Which, in fact, is okay; sexuality is bound up in a lot of questions, and in my experience, as soon as you think you've found the answers, the answers and/or the questions all change into something entirely different. It's okay not to know.
I say this all the time, and I usually attribute the quote to John Green, but a Google search only turns up me, so maybe I made it up. Anyway the quote is "Fiction is a gateway to understanding reality." Most commercially published fiction doesn't do much to address sex, or if it does, it does so obliquely, shallowly, or shamefully. Fanfiction is a place where many people feel safe to express desire and explore kinks, and the same is true of me: empathy and fanfiction allows me to explore my own (a)sexuality in a safe and healthy way, with friends and a community there to support me.
Tea Says:
I have been asked about my sexuality both offline and online - online almost always in fandom communities. A question I’ve heard a few times now is, “Why do you read/write explicit fanfiction if you don’t like sex?” Despite my lack of interest in engaging in sexual activities, I still find sex fascinating (and also a little gross, because I am secretly eight years old. But also because sex kind of is gross if you think about it.)
The type of fanfics I read and try to write often revolve more around relationship dynamics than the physical act of sex itself. Obviously sex will usually play a large part of this. I enjoy fics with less-than-good relationships, or relationships I would never, ever want to be in, because I find them more interesting to read and write and at times can connect with them better than the everything-worked-out! ones (not that those ones are bad, and if I’m in the right mood I really enjoy them.) My experience in relationships is verging on non-existent, and my experience in good, healthy relationships is zero. I like exploring how relationships can change when you throw physicality into the mix. I also think, in a way, exploring fictional characters’ sexuality is a way of sort of exploring my own, or working out my own. In writing fanfic I have learned how to communicate with potential partners about what they can expect in a relationship with me, and how I feel about sex. It is, admittedly, something I’m still working on and still learning how to do, but I feel I have a clearer idea of how to approach it now, and I owe a lot of that to both reading and writing fanfic that explores not only sex in general, but a character’s sexuality.
Although I tend prefer plottier fics in which sex may feature, I do sometimes read fics intended specifically to arouse. The odd time I do read one, it’s mostly because I need help writing. Reading different sex scenes helps me develop my own characterizations and writing skills when it comes to writing my own sex scenes, what I think will work for them in my fic and what won’t.
However, I can enjoy reading explict sex scenes because I enjoy reading about these characters in situations we don’t get a chance to see. I like reading what is different from Fic A to Fic B, and if and how they both still read as in-character. These characters are fun and interesting, and also I do find them attractive (I think I’m forever doomed to have a bit of a girly-crush on Sherlock Holmes.) While I might not necessarily get off on reading explicit sex scenes or PWP, I do enjoy reading different interpretations to sexual situations with these characters that - as far as we know - don’t engage in sexual activity with one another.
We Say:
People outside of fandom seem to struggle with the concept of fanfic. Talking to people who don’t read or write it, we’ve often heard “But it’s just porn!” and while that can be the case, there are fics ranging from gen to explicit that explore much more than “just porn”. Sex is a huge part of a lot of people's lives, and it can shape a character, how they feel about themselves, how they feel about others, how they feel about their situation and circumstances. It's also a way to communicate that is unlike any other form of communication. And while we enjoy fics that are written solely with the intent to arouse, fandom and fanfic is a lot more than that and allows people to explore relationships, sex, creativity and any number of other things with characters they recognize, which means it can be appealing to everyone, no matter what their sexuality (or lack thereof) is.
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. You can comment there using OpenID or read comments (
so far) made there.