The Top 5 Non-Traditionally Sexy People
Each year, various pandering magazines (like People) release a list of their top 10, top 100, or top 25 sexiest people alive. I can look at these magazines and see the same sorts of faces peering back at me. They are faces and bodies constructed with plastic and religious devotion to exercise and dieting routines that are painful to imagine at best. Plus, in the end, they all start to look the same with their doctored expressions and airbrushed features. Today, I'm going to release a top 5 list of non-traditional sexy people. People that I find sexually attractive that should, but don't, end up on the Sexiest people lists.
Now, I chose the celebrity set because most people might know who I'm talking about, and I don't want to open the can of worms that is trying to suggest friends or acquaintances. That's just weird. With no further ado, here is the TOP 5!
Number 5!
Margaret Cho
Margaret has given this sick, sad world the ability to bust up laughing. With a mix of gay humor and feminist rage, Cho has become one of the principal comediennes, and one of the few people who will make me laugh consistently. Her latest endeavor, claiming the erotic art of Burlesque for people of all body types; is a sexy and powerful form of expression! It's certainly enough to get her a place on this list.
Number 4!
Adrian Fenty
How awkward would it be to meet someone and say: "The first time I had a crush on you was when I saw you on C-SPAN?" Pretty damn awkward, I would say! Well, that's exactly what happened with number four on the non-traditionally sexy list, Mayor Adrian Fenty of Washington DC. Besides his good looks, he has one of the hardest jobs in America, made even harder by the Conservative Activist Roberts court (who reinterpret well-regulated militia to mean any group of gun rights advocates - any hey! When the conservatives run the Court, it's still just as activist!) But he holds it together with a grace and will that makes him one of the most impressive mayors in the United States.
Number 3!
Janeane Garofalo
With biting humor and an even more biting wit, Janeane takes her rightful place among the non-traditionally sexy as one of the smartest women I know. She's my personal pick for the first woman president (Really!) She also has made an indelible mark in Ratatouille, and will simply kick some ass on any political show she gets on! And all that's packed into one tiny kick-ass little frame!
Number 2!
Amanda Palmer
Did you expect this one to be higher? My love for Ms Palmer is well known here, but she doesn't take the top spot. Not only is she an amazingly talented artist in many fields and has the most strikingly beautiful features. She's the kind of girl who can knock you dead just by smiling at you from across the room. And don't get me started on her voice. I think that it's one of the sexiest singing voices ever, although I feel a little bad because she had to undergo surgery because of it. Amanda Palmer was the only no-brainer for my list, and she inhabits a blazing number 2 spot on the list.
Number 1!
Ira Glass
Who could be sexy enough for the number one spot? Are you thinking of a somewhat shy radio personality with thick-rimmed glasses? If you did, you know that I'm talking about the one and only Ira Glass. Each week, Ira Glass serenades us on the radio and on TV (if you're lucky enough to catch it) with episodes on a Theme on This American Life. Not only does he have an adorable voice, he also is gutsy enough to sing along with the theme from the OC in front of a live audience during a tour with This American Life. His only flaw is that he let some women sink her claws into him before we got a chance at him.
Next week, honorable mentions. I name some folks who are notably attractive who did not reach the top 5 list. And to the audience at home, I would love some of your picks for this list, at least so I don't feel like some pervert for actually writing one. I'll see you next time!
Now, I chose the celebrity set because most people might know who I'm talking about, and I don't want to open the can of worms that is trying to suggest friends or acquaintances. That's just weird. With no further ado, here is the TOP 5!
Number 5!
Margaret Cho
Margaret has given this sick, sad world the ability to bust up laughing. With a mix of gay humor and feminist rage, Cho has become one of the principal comediennes, and one of the few people who will make me laugh consistently. Her latest endeavor, claiming the erotic art of Burlesque for people of all body types; is a sexy and powerful form of expression! It's certainly enough to get her a place on this list.
Number 4!
Adrian Fenty
How awkward would it be to meet someone and say: "The first time I had a crush on you was when I saw you on C-SPAN?" Pretty damn awkward, I would say! Well, that's exactly what happened with number four on the non-traditionally sexy list, Mayor Adrian Fenty of Washington DC. Besides his good looks, he has one of the hardest jobs in America, made even harder by the Conservative Activist Roberts court (who reinterpret well-regulated militia to mean any group of gun rights advocates - any hey! When the conservatives run the Court, it's still just as activist!) But he holds it together with a grace and will that makes him one of the most impressive mayors in the United States.
Number 3!
Janeane Garofalo
With biting humor and an even more biting wit, Janeane takes her rightful place among the non-traditionally sexy as one of the smartest women I know. She's my personal pick for the first woman president (Really!) She also has made an indelible mark in Ratatouille, and will simply kick some ass on any political show she gets on! And all that's packed into one tiny kick-ass little frame!
Number 2!
Amanda Palmer
Did you expect this one to be higher? My love for Ms Palmer is well known here, but she doesn't take the top spot. Not only is she an amazingly talented artist in many fields and has the most strikingly beautiful features. She's the kind of girl who can knock you dead just by smiling at you from across the room. And don't get me started on her voice. I think that it's one of the sexiest singing voices ever, although I feel a little bad because she had to undergo surgery because of it. Amanda Palmer was the only no-brainer for my list, and she inhabits a blazing number 2 spot on the list.
Number 1!
Ira Glass
Who could be sexy enough for the number one spot? Are you thinking of a somewhat shy radio personality with thick-rimmed glasses? If you did, you know that I'm talking about the one and only Ira Glass. Each week, Ira Glass serenades us on the radio and on TV (if you're lucky enough to catch it) with episodes on a Theme on This American Life. Not only does he have an adorable voice, he also is gutsy enough to sing along with the theme from the OC in front of a live audience during a tour with This American Life. His only flaw is that he let some women sink her claws into him before we got a chance at him.
Next week, honorable mentions. I name some folks who are notably attractive who did not reach the top 5 list. And to the audience at home, I would love some of your picks for this list, at least so I don't feel like some pervert for actually writing one. I'll see you next time!