sadness...
you know all i ever wanted in life was to have the best of friends, a loving family, and a girl that cared as much about me as i cared for her. i'm lucky to have one of those....friends. i'd seriously be dead if it weren't for you guys. i'd have nothing to live for. but now i think of the other two big things. i know one will never happen....the family part, which is worse than ever. that will never change. i've given up. i know when i'm not wanted...and that leads me to this.
i met a girl(and if she bothers to read this maybe it will mean something) a little while ago. she struck me as an extremely attractive woman, someone who would never go for a guy like me...yet it's odd how she seemed so eager to be around me at first.the thing that attracted me to her the most though was how honest she was about everything and that sweetness in her voice that to this day i cannot describe. she came at a time that was hard for her. she had a bad relationship with some lying son of a bitch. i told myself that i would never lie to her about anything because i hated to see her so hurt over him. i've kept that promise since. i took her out and all she ever said was that i was too good to be true. i wwent into ihop one day and she met me at the front door with a smile from ear to ear, a smile that i thought was because she had been wanting to see me for some time, a sincere smile. but now that i think of it, i think it was just because i was a familiar face. nothing more.i feel that all the things she told me about really liking me and loving my kindness and honesty toward her were relly just over exaggerations. i feel used in a sense. i don't do what a do as an act as she may have believed. i don't put on acts when it comes to people that i care about. i actually open up a side of me that few people get to see. and the few that get to see it are extremely special to me. and now i just don't know what to do. it seems that every girl i've been close to since my last relationship just enjoys me as a fling and then just stops talking to me. and each time it rips out another piece of my heart, aheart with very little left. but with that little piece of love i have left i try my best to make everyone around me have a better life. but in all honesty, to the girl that this letter concerns, i think if you just gave it the chance that you could be happy with me. and in doing so, you would have subsequently made me the happiest i will have ever been. but recently we've drifted apart, and it scares me to think that maybe a fling is all that i'll ever be to you...........but think of this.
remember how i sang Ataris to you over the phone:
" and i'm still here, waiting there
to catch you if you fall.
i don't know why, i care so much
when i shouldn't care at all."
i finally figured out why i care so much......because i couldn't imagine being without you.
<3 nobody
i met a girl(and if she bothers to read this maybe it will mean something) a little while ago. she struck me as an extremely attractive woman, someone who would never go for a guy like me...yet it's odd how she seemed so eager to be around me at first.the thing that attracted me to her the most though was how honest she was about everything and that sweetness in her voice that to this day i cannot describe. she came at a time that was hard for her. she had a bad relationship with some lying son of a bitch. i told myself that i would never lie to her about anything because i hated to see her so hurt over him. i've kept that promise since. i took her out and all she ever said was that i was too good to be true. i wwent into ihop one day and she met me at the front door with a smile from ear to ear, a smile that i thought was because she had been wanting to see me for some time, a sincere smile. but now that i think of it, i think it was just because i was a familiar face. nothing more.i feel that all the things she told me about really liking me and loving my kindness and honesty toward her were relly just over exaggerations. i feel used in a sense. i don't do what a do as an act as she may have believed. i don't put on acts when it comes to people that i care about. i actually open up a side of me that few people get to see. and the few that get to see it are extremely special to me. and now i just don't know what to do. it seems that every girl i've been close to since my last relationship just enjoys me as a fling and then just stops talking to me. and each time it rips out another piece of my heart, aheart with very little left. but with that little piece of love i have left i try my best to make everyone around me have a better life. but in all honesty, to the girl that this letter concerns, i think if you just gave it the chance that you could be happy with me. and in doing so, you would have subsequently made me the happiest i will have ever been. but recently we've drifted apart, and it scares me to think that maybe a fling is all that i'll ever be to you...........but think of this.
remember how i sang Ataris to you over the phone:
" and i'm still here, waiting there
to catch you if you fall.
i don't know why, i care so much
when i shouldn't care at all."
i finally figured out why i care so much......because i couldn't imagine being without you.
<3 nobody