whats wrong with me?
-intro-
i looked in the mirror after it happened and asked "what's wrong with me?"
...and my reflection looks me dead in the eye and says "I don't know."
today i found out my father died but before you sit there and say "damn" or send condolences, it didn't really bother me. i wasn't very concerned. the first thing i thought was "shit... i need to buy a suit now." i truly don't feel sad or hurt, i never really made up with my father, i actually hung up on him a few times and openly expressed my disdain. now that hes dead i felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and i can move foward. maybe i finally forgave him, maybe i really dont care and there is something wrong with me. the only reason im up this late is because i was cleaning my kitchen when i just felt i should post this.
at the funeral i dont think any of us will cry. [he has 3 sons me danny and another named zachary, we dont hang with zack, as much as we probably should.]
if anything i think im a little happy about it, jovial even. is there something wrong with me? i also wonder if i'll actually grieve at my my mom or grandma's funeral.
seriously am i wrong? even though i've never really sat down to talk to him. the last time i actually talked to him i hung up the phone on him. it was two days after my bday.
maybe laughing and not feeling anything is my way of feeling grief...
is there something wrong with me? that i truely don't care. that im more worried about myself then for his soul or w/e. i hadn't planed on praying before i go to bed, because i don't have anything to pray about.
im actually surprised i typed this much because there isnt anything to talk about.
shit is crazy.. or im crazy take your pick...
i looked in the mirror after it happened and asked "what's wrong with me?"
...and my reflection looks me dead in the eye and says "I don't know."
today i found out my father died but before you sit there and say "damn" or send condolences, it didn't really bother me. i wasn't very concerned. the first thing i thought was "shit... i need to buy a suit now." i truly don't feel sad or hurt, i never really made up with my father, i actually hung up on him a few times and openly expressed my disdain. now that hes dead i felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and i can move foward. maybe i finally forgave him, maybe i really dont care and there is something wrong with me. the only reason im up this late is because i was cleaning my kitchen when i just felt i should post this.
at the funeral i dont think any of us will cry. [he has 3 sons me danny and another named zachary, we dont hang with zack, as much as we probably should.]
if anything i think im a little happy about it, jovial even. is there something wrong with me? i also wonder if i'll actually grieve at my my mom or grandma's funeral.
seriously am i wrong? even though i've never really sat down to talk to him. the last time i actually talked to him i hung up the phone on him. it was two days after my bday.
maybe laughing and not feeling anything is my way of feeling grief...
is there something wrong with me? that i truely don't care. that im more worried about myself then for his soul or w/e. i hadn't planed on praying before i go to bed, because i don't have anything to pray about.
im actually surprised i typed this much because there isnt anything to talk about.
shit is crazy.. or im crazy take your pick...