Update: Get out!
I have not been updating much. I have not been wanting to put my feelings down is a huge part of that I believe. I have been going through a rough patch since the end of September or so. My father feel ill, I quit my job, started school and short but very intense relationship was ended. My father passed on the 12th of November. As fate would have it that is also my mother's birthday. It made it a little harder for us all. During Daddy's illness and after his passing I was home for a little more than 3 weeks. As I said I was in school. When I got back there was no way to make up the amount of time I had missed. I had to drop all but my online class. What that really means is my classmates and I, who I have been with each other year now are no longer be in the same class. It was a hard blow. We had become a team. I consider them all friends.
Naturally with all the lose I became very depressed. I stopped socializing much. I began doing little more than sleeping. I knew that what I was doing was not healthy. I decided to go in for counseling. I knew I could not deal with the way I was feeling on my own. I have only had two secession but I know it is helping. Yesterday I went out Christmas shopping. I had a good time. I also went out to open mic night at Barnaby's. Some of my buddies where there doing what they do (playing and singing that is). I am happy I went. It was fun.
I intend to keep trying to get out of the house and having fun. I want to be me again even though I recognize that "me" is not the same as I was before all this. I'm stronger, stronger than I thought I was, stronger than I thought I could ever be.
Naturally with all the lose I became very depressed. I stopped socializing much. I began doing little more than sleeping. I knew that what I was doing was not healthy. I decided to go in for counseling. I knew I could not deal with the way I was feeling on my own. I have only had two secession but I know it is helping. Yesterday I went out Christmas shopping. I had a good time. I also went out to open mic night at Barnaby's. Some of my buddies where there doing what they do (playing and singing that is). I am happy I went. It was fun.
I intend to keep trying to get out of the house and having fun. I want to be me again even though I recognize that "me" is not the same as I was before all this. I'm stronger, stronger than I thought I was, stronger than I thought I could ever be.