"The Best Part Of Believe Is The Lie." (Graceland) R
Title: The Best Part Of Believe Is The Lie. (On Archive Of Our Own)
Author:
lannamichaels
Fandom: Graceland (TV)
Rating: R
A/N: For my Mind Control square in Trope Bingo Round 3. The title is from Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year by Fall Out Boy. I've played a little fast and loose with the timeline. *handwave handwave handwave* Be aware that while this fic does not contain sex, it does have both consensual and non-consensual mind control.
Summary: Mike has a secret. Briggs has an investigation.
1.
"Hey, Mike," Briggs says. "Do me a favor?"
Mike says, "sure."
Briggs slings his arm around Mike's shoulder. "Great. I want you to tell me all my secrets."
2.
People like Mike. He's always careful about it, but people like him. He's never had a problem making friends, gaining confidences. It's why he's so good at what he does. Briggs, though, Briggs is something else. Briggs is everything Mike wants to be; Briggs is everything Mike worries he'll become. Juan's been drawing that line for him: Briggs could be his future. If he does well. If he fucks up. No matter if Mike steps out of line, if he doesn't, there's Briggs. Better than him, smarter than him, more talented than him--
But not more Talented than him.
Mike had asked why me, and Juan had said, gotta get a guy who can't get broken. Briggs can't crack Mike; Mike's too good for that. He could crack Briggs, maybe. But he'd need a warrant for that; he'd asked Juan about that and gotten rebuffed. So Mike isn't cracking Briggs, that's not happening. He still has some sense of legality. Everyone around him bends the rules, but Mike? If he starts bending things around with his brain, shit's going to go down. They've all got their talents, but -- and Mike hates to admit it -- Juan was right. Mike's got the talent for this job. Doesn't have the experience, is a really terrible fit for his cover, but he's got his job and he's doing it.
And people like him. It helps that people like him. He's gotten this far with Bello, with Briggs, and he'll see this thing through. And then he'll get back to DC, back on track, back where his talent should have put him instead of here in California, here in this house, here with these people, here with all these damned secrets and all these damned lies. His entire life is a cover, and he's fallen in too deep. He can separate himself easily from Bello, but not from Briggs. Mike respects the hell out of Briggs, and he trusts Briggs, and even as he loses the trust, he never loses that respect, that amazement in Paul Briggs's skill. Briggs is phenomenal and --
-- and the first day, Mike watched Brigs shoot someone to save his life. And lied about it.
Complicit from day one.
3.
Two months and Mike would put even money that Briggs is the most manipulative man in the state, if not the time zone. He always has an excuse, always some sly explanation for how he was two steps ahead of you the whole time. He plays it like he's Lucky, but Mike knows better. No one's that lucky who isn't talented that way; Briggs is just a champion improviser and bullshitter. Mike's been honestly impressed. And he's never sure, never sure, what's a con and what's the truth.
Isn't sure there's anything called truth when Briggs is concerned.
The shit part of it is, Briggs is still so damned good. Still gets results. Still always lands on his feet. It's enough to make Mike doubt what he's seen, what he keeps finding out. And, despite himself, he's always so damned impressed by Briggs. Come one, come all, come to Graceland and watch the master at work. Watch Briggs set up another agent, watch Briggs bend the rules until breaking, watch him play games with his roommates, with his subordinates. Watch Briggs treat this all like some kind of game.
Watch Briggs always, always, always land on his feet.
And Briggs has an investigation.
Says he has an investigation.
Mike knows: watch what Briggs does, not what he says.
Right now, Briggs is saying: crack me open.
Briggs is saying: open me up and then close it all shut, so no one can get in.
Briggs is saying: here's that trust you were looking for, laid out on a silver platter for you, Agent Warren.
4.
"I don't feel comfortable doing this," Mike says.
Johnny's their witness, because Mike's not going to be Lauren. He's seen Briggs set someone up and he's not going to be caught in that trap.
Briggs is shifting on his feet, and Mike says, "wait."
Mike knows: Briggs is watching what Mike does, too.
Mike says, "Do me first."
5.
[Be sure.] It's a knock on the inside of Mike's skull, subtle as a battering ram.
Outside, Johnny is saying, "You sure, Mike?" Mike ignores him, focusing on Briggs. Forcing eye contact.
"He's sure," Briggs answers for him. "Hey, Warren, tell him something stupid."
"Go fuck yourself," Mike says easily, and then Briggs is back at his head. Mike doesn't make this easy. If he shows his belly and goes under quickly, that's suspicious. Put up a fight, lure him in. Mike graduated top of his class; he can't fold quickly.
So he lets Briggs at him, taking everything Briggs can throw at him, watching through half-lidded eyes as Johnny does fire tricks to entertain himself while Mike and Briggs have a very boring staring contest, he says. Mike parts his lips and touches his tongue to his upper lip and relaxes just enough.
And Briggs is inside.
6.
Mike is prepared and when Briggs demands, [who have you been talking to], he shows him. Shows him talking to Juan, shows him calling him when things are hard, checking in. Puts everything into [My therapist, you ass.] Mike's first day seems like a very long time ago now, but he remembers it all, remembers watching Briggs shoot a guy and then lie about it, because Briggs saved his life, because Briggs was fast and smart and pro-active, and Mike owed him his life, shows Briggs the guilt and humiliation and fear and panic, shows him [we both know you didn't see the gun.]
Briggs tugs on the memories, is too good not to, but Mike trips on the photo on his grandfather and starts spiraling through his childhood, and his grandfather is giving him a pocket knife when Briggs says [this is sickeningly saccharine, do a dance for me, kid] and it takes Mike three minutes to stop moving. He swats Briggs down before Briggs can have him sing something, and then bites his lip hard and breathes in sharply, deeply, abruptly.
And breaks through Briggs.
7.
Briggs'd seen it coming in Mike's head, but Mike's fast, and Briggs didn't have time to pull everything back. Mike sees heroin and fire and a woman he'd only seen in photos, and then there's a wall, a mile tall and two miles wide, and Briggs says, "gotta try harder than that."
Somewhere outside the universe, Johnny says, "man, I haven't seen grudgefucking this intense since Basic."
But Mike's already in, and this isn't his chance to go snooping, same as he doesn't just go around punching people in the street. Briggs is his training officer and his investigation wrapped into one, and Mike respects one and has doubts about the other. Briggs ain't clean, but Mike isn't sure he's dirty, not dirty enough to divert Mike's career path to investigating him. Juan's given him too many stories, too many reasons, and Mike isn't sure about anything anymore. Briggs is good, he's so damned good. Mike's got a job to do, multiple jobs to do, and he does them.
So Briggs took his chance, tried to interrogate Mike from the inside of his own head; Mike won't let him see the same. Will let Briggs think Mike's better than that, will draw Briggs in. He's supposed to gain his trust, right? This is just part of that. And Mike's... well, Mike's very good at what he does.
Because before he slams Briggs shut, right before, when he's damn sure Briggs won't notice him making a key for the lock, he sets a trigger.
Briggs doesn't know: Mike will be able to get back in any time he wants to.
8.
Briggs goes undercover for a week, two weeks, and Mike spins his wheels and thinks about things.
The Odin deal was too convenient. Briggs is a bug guy, Mike's noticed, and when his bugs go dead at inconvenient times... well, that's very convenient for him, isn't it? Goddamn, Mike's very first day, and going off-comms to agree on their cover-up. What happened with Charlie. The Odin deal. And they just have to take Briggs's word for it, and Mike trusts what people do, not what people say, and Bello said he made the deal with Odin. Briggs was supposed to set up a deal with Odin. Briggs's watch malfunctioned. And Bello had made the deal with Odin, somehow. Either it was the meeting they set up, or it wasn't, but Mike would have heard if Bello had set up another meeting, even if Bello hadn't taken him along. And Odin's known too much about their investigation, been able to get around them too many times he shouldn't have been.
Occam's razor suggests: the meeting with Odin had been the meeting Mike had seen. And Mike hadn't seen Odin.
Mike keeps thinking: Once is coincidence... and Briggs isn't this lucky.
Mike keeps thinking: Briggs is making his own luck.
9.
If Mike's right, this is bigger than Juan. This is bigger than Briggs skimming money, bigger than Briggs siphoning off heroin to keep himself going. This is Briggs stealing heroin and then selling it. This is Briggs setting himself up as a competitor to the ones who'd tortured him and gotten him addicted -- and Mike has only Briggs's word that that even happened. Briggs hadn't offered that story as a memory. It had sounded true, but Briggs is like Mike. They're both very good at getting people to like them. Mike can't trust himself anymore about this, he's too involved, he's standing too close to see what he's even looking at.
Odin isn't Briggs's cover. Not an official one.
And if Briggs is Odin's cover, they're all really, really fucked.
Mike's not sure of anything anymore, but he knows he needs to find out. Because Odin Rossi is dangerous, and Paul Briggs is dangerous, and if they're the same person, Mike's probably going to wake up dead. Briggs talks about the good of the house, but Briggs is the smoothest manipulative motherfucker Mike has had the misfortune to meet. Mike has to remind himself: don't trust a word Briggs says.
Look at what he does.
No.
Find out what he does.
10.
Briggs comes back. Mike contemplates slipping him a sleeping pill, maybe getting him drunk, anything to dull this for Briggs. But he doesn't. Briggs deserves enough respect for Mike to do this to his face.
Mike gets him in a room alone, locks the door.
"We need to talk about Odin Rossi," Mike says. He inhales, exhales, and centers himself.
Then: "Privately, Agent Paul Briggs," he says firmly, and the trigger falls, and Briggs suddenly flinches and Mike --
-- Mike's inside. And Mike has everything.
11.
Briggs talks for thirty minutes according to the tape. Mike's going to have to destroy that. He's already dirty, what's one more bit of filth? He feels sick.
"Don't do this to me, Mike," Briggs says. And Mike can't order Briggs to turn himself in, the shrinks would find the order, wonder if Mike planted some memories. That won't work. But this can't keep going -- but this can't stop. The situation with Bello is too fragile, too important. And Mike's been playing bodyguard to Bello and playing goddamn protege to Odin Rossi, and this situation can't continue.
[Stop chasing Jangles], Mike orders. That's been the line Briggs keeps throwing up when Mike wants to bring Bello in. Briggs wants Jangles, wants to hurt the cartel. But Briggs is Odin; the cartel is his competition. Mike's not going to bend over backwards to help Briggs with his drug war.
"This is ending now," Mike says.
12.
They arrest Bello.
Briggs blows Mike's cover; Mike should have thought of that. But Briggs is better at contingencies, and Mike is learning. Learning from the best, wasn't that the idea? Send him here, tell Briggs, here, have the new you, train him up. Tell Mike, here, this is what you could be, if you aren't careful.
Well, Briggs is a goddamn drug kingpin, but Mike's already committing major felonies while not even a year out of Quantico. He's coming out ahead in this competition. It's not a good one to be winning.
Briggs invited him into his head, Briggs showed his belly, and Mike took advantage. But Mike's here with a job and he's doing it. He's done it. He's found out Paul Briggs's secret and he's learned from him, and he's satisfied all of his objectives.
But he's not done here yet. He can't prove any of this.
13.
Briggs destroys evidence. Briggs sets up a nobody as Odin. Briggs digs himself out of it, the internal investigation clears him, and Mike hates him and is impressed and disgusted and, frankly, a little in awe.
It helps that Briggs is like him. It helps that Briggs can make people do what he wants, can make them want to.
And Mike's already showed Briggs that Mike can't be trusted. That Mike was working against him the entire time. That Mike took advantage of him, played him, and then took over his mind. Briggs isn't going to forgive him for any of this. Mike knows he's the convenient scapegoat in all of this, that his career is over just as its begun. As far as the Bureau's concerned, Mike's done here. He did his job, he investigated Briggs, and now it's over. But it's not over for Mike and it's not over for Briggs.
Because Briggs can't pull a trigger out of his own head, he's not good enough for that.
Mike sits down with Briggs.
Mike says, "let's talk."
14.
Briggs wants Jangles. Briggs wants revenge. Briggs is using Odin to do it. But he can't get Jangles; Mike's order is holding firm.
Mike won't let Briggs into his head, doesn't trust that Briggs won't decide to rearrange things. "I'm insulted, Warren," Briggs claims, but he won't let Mike into his, either. Looks at Mike warily when he thinks Mike might speak the trigger.
Mike's filthy, but Briggs isn't his mirror, isn't his future. Briggs made his mistakes, but Mike is making ones of his very own. But that doesn't change who and what they are.
Mike really wants to believe that.
"If you'll work within the system to get Jangles, I'll take it off," Mike says. "But I don't trust you not to sacrifice each and every one of us to get revenge. You claim to want to protect Graceland, but you risked all of our lives for your plans. You used us and you still pretend you're the perfect one."
"Mikey, you got a gun inside my head," Briggs says and he sounds so reasonable. "We can't deal under duress."
Mike laughs at him.
15.
What Mike wants is, he wants to go back to DC. He wants his career back on track. But he's not going to get that. He wants to have nothing more to do with Paul Briggs -- he might get that. He's learned enough to know that if he learns any more, he'll lose himself in the knowledge. He's probably already lost himself.
"You really think I'm the worst thing out there?" Briggs asks. "Bullshit, you know I'm not. You want preparation for the rest of your career?" He throws his arms wide open. "Take a look, I'm it. Kid, I'm the easiest problem you'll ever have to solve. You know exactly how to deal with me. Right by that book you have memorized. Simple, right?"
Nothing about this is simple.
"Goddamn you," Mike says. He has no idea how he's getting himself out of this. Mostly what he really wants is to make sure Briggs doesn't do this to anybody else. He probably won't get that.
"No, come on, do it, Mikey," Briggs says. "Go on. Turn me in. Tell them everything. Tell them about my confession."
Mike hasn't destroyed the tape yet. The original recording is in a safe deposit box; he's sent a key to his mom and an encrypted complete digital copy to his cousin. Call it his contingency plan just in case he dies suddenly and suspiciously. But anyone listening to it will arrest Mike, not Briggs. Briggs just sold drugs and possibly murdered another agent. Mike took over Briggs's head and forced a confession. No way anyone listening to it would trust a word on it. But if Mike disappears like Juan, at least this recording won't go missing. "I can't prove a damn thing and you know it," Mike says.
Briggs says, "then let's make a deal."
16.
Mike won't take the trigger out. If it came down to Mike against Briggs, talent against talent, Mike's better, he'll beat Briggs every time. But it's not going to be a fair fight. Briggs has an easy stash of heroin and Mike's not trained to keep control while high. He could figure it out, but Briggs has experience on his side. If Briggs decided it was a matter of life or death, Mike wouldn't win that fight. He needs the trigger just in case Briggs decides to stab him in the back. Or in a vein.
And yet, even now, even still, even after everything, Mike still shies away from the idea that Briggs would fight that dirty. Mike keeps making excuses, finds himself thinking that, well, take away the drug dealing, take away the needless endangerment of other people's lives, take away ruining Mike's cover with Bello... take away it all, and Briggs is still a good agent.
It's a bit like saying: other than the poison. The poison was still gonna kill you. Briggs is charismatic and Mike likes him, he really does like him, but Briggs disgusts him. There's the Briggs that Mike knows, who wouldn't do that to him, and then there's the Briggs that Mike doesn't know. Mike knows enough of that Briggs to know: no way in hell is he removing that trigger.
Because taking out the trigger would be a sign of trust, and he doesn't trust Briggs. And Briggs has no reason to trust Mike.
On paper, Briggs is an innocent man. In reality, he's worse than Bello. Mike had understood Bello, had known how to manipulate him. It had always been just a cover with Bello. But Briggs... Briggs is different.
So, yeah, Mike's not taking the trigger out.
"You're not God," Briggs says. "You don't get to make these choices for me." He smiles. "I suspect you of unethical use of your talents, Agent Warren. What a shame, you had such promise."
"Yeah, well, write me up," Mike says. And, "We always suspect others of what we ourselves are guilty of, don't we?" Because, yeah. Mike's been wondering. Especially when it comes to Jakes. He can't prove anything, but he's got a whole lot of suspicions. Everyone with their talent has a normal background hum of unconscious low-level charisma. People like them. People like them because they want them to like them. But Briggs... too many things bend for Briggs. But that doesn't explain how Mike still wants to believe in him. Mike should be immune.
Briggs says, "Touche."
Briggs says, "You know you're getting reassigned anyway."
Mike knows. The world hasn't been holding its breath while Mike and Briggs have been in their holding pattern of mutually-assured destruction. Graceland wasn't compromised, but they can't work with each other anymore. The tension was too high, they're all being pulled different ways now. Charlie's on Mike's side in this; she's been suspicious longer than Mike has, but her case against Briggs is as full of conjecture and air and holes as Mike's is. Mike wonders, if he hadn't been so dead set on not breaking his cover, if he'd been able to collaborate with Charlie, maybe they would have had something. Maybe they would have had Briggs.
They don't have Briggs. Instead, they have a whole lot of nothing but suspicions, anger, and an internal inquiry. Graceland's a joke now, the safe house that ate itself from the inside. Mike's not sure who the Bureau is most angry at. When Mike's been talking to the Bureau, they say, he didn't give them Briggs. Mike was the tip on a larger investigation into Briggs, and Mike didn't deliver. They say: we wanted you to investigate Briggs, not ruin a safehouse. You didn't give us what you were sent here for. But Mike's given them enough. He thinks: he's given them everything. But not Briggs.
Mike knows he's not going back to DC. It doesn't really hurt that much, now. Four months ago, it would have torn him apart, would have made him question everything. Four months ago, he would have wondered if destroying his career was worth it. Four months ago, he'd had clear goals and a target.
He regrets some of it. Probably the wrong parts of it.
But maybe if Juan had ever given Mike a coherent story, maybe if the only one that had turned out to be true hadn't been one that Juan had tossed away, maybe if it hadn't all seemed to Mike to be a lone agent's paranoia and revenge... Mike's burned a lot of bridges over this. He doesn't really trust anyone right now. And he's treading water so fast, he's fooling himself that he's getting somewhere. But he's not.
But he's staying alive.
He might be turning into Briggs after all.
"It was never about the drugs," Briggs says. "It was never about the money. Odin Rossi was a means to an end. It's always been about bringing Jangles in. He burned down the Estate and killed five federal agents. You talk about revenge and I'm talking about justice."
Briggs doesn't get to claim the moral high ground. It's laughable that he'd even try. They both know better. But unless Briggs can find someone stronger than Mike to crack the control, he's not going after Jangles. And if he's not going after Jangles, Mike doesn't know what he's going to do. Mike's actually a little worried about him; he doesn't think Briggs knows what he'd do if he didn't have Jangles.
And Mike's the one who took his revenge away. So he's also more than a little worried about himself.
"You think Jangles won't be coming back?" Briggs asks. "With Bello gone, with Odin no longer active, there's a power vacuum just waiting to be filled. They're going to keep needing Jangles on this side of the border until it all settles down. We can get him, Mike. We can arrest him."
"You don't even know what he looks like," Mike says. "And what are you going to say, that he got you high, got you addicted, got you to betray the Estate, and then, what, you never told anyone? They'll look at my testimony and at Charlie's testimony, put it all together, decide we're right this time, and put you away for life. That won't get you Jangles."
"Charlie's already perjured herself over this and you're the guy whose control officer disappeared under mysterious circumstances after you told him off," Briggs says.
"So you want me to, what? Let you go after Jangles?" Mike asks. "Let you destroy even more people's careers and lives over this?"
"Yeah, Mike, you're going to let me," Briggs says. "Let me make my own decisions."
"Let you bring me down with you, you mean," Mike says.
Briggs smiles at him. "Oh, Mikey," he says, leaning back and clasping his hands behind his neck. "I already have. So let's deal."
Mike gets up and walks away.
17.
Briggs finds him on the beach, staring at the waves. "I've been remiss," he says. "What do you want out of this?"
"We are so far beyond what I want out of this," Mike says honestly.
"Okay, then," Briggs shrugs. "What will you settle for?"
Mike looks at him. "You don't go after Jangles. You give up Odin. You put in for a transfer somewhere a long, long way away. And you learn to heal."
Briggs laughs. "Seriously, Mike. It's like you're not even real. What do you want?"
Mike turns back to the waves. "I want you to turn yourself in. I want my life back on track. But I'll settle for you getting the hell away from here and getting your life back together. You'll always be the man you are, but maybe you could also become the agent you used to be."
"Still hero-worshiping, huh," Briggs says. "If that's the deal you want, I can work with that. Take the trigger out and you'll never have to see me again."
"And no retaliation against me for anything," Mike adds.
Briggs just looks at him. "Mike, that was never in any order you gave me. I could have shot you in the back all this time."
"But then there still would have been the trigger. And you never would have been sure who knew what it was," Mike says.
Briggs nods in acknowledgment. "All right. I won't retaliate. And I won't decide to tell the Bureau you've been playing games inside my head. Does that cover everything you'd like it to?"
This is a terrible idea. Mike knows this is a terrible idea. He's going to relive all of the ways this is a terrible idea. But--
"Let's do this," Mike says.
18.
They're sitting down this time, staring at each other from across a table.
"You need to trust me," Mike says.
"None of this has been about trust," Briggs says, and opens his mind.
Mike takes the trigger out.
He leaves the compulsion.
19.
A month after, Mike is unpacking his bags in Detroit and he gets a text from a burner phone in St. Louis.
It says: 'I passed my psych eval.'
The first time, he'd locked Briggs's mind after, it would have needed someone strong to get in. Mike hadn't done that the second time. Briggs has the kind of talent to move things around his own head, and the kind of connections to find someone who can plant hidden labyrinths. Briggs also has the kind of connections who'll just, well, let him pass an eval without looking too hard.
Because people like Briggs. Because nothing sticks to Briggs.
Mike turns off his phone and doesn't respond.
20.
In his dreams, he hears Bello saying: I trusted you.
In his dreams, he hears Briggs saying: None of this has been about trust.
Fuck it, Mike thinks. If you want trust, get a dog.
This entry was originally posted at http://lannamichaels.dreamwidth.org/825687.html.