"Let There Be Lips." (Måneskin RPF) G
Title: Let There Be Lips. (On Archive Of Our Own)
Author:
lannamichaels
Fandom: Måneskin RPF
Pairing: Damiano David/Ethan Torchio, Victoria De Angelis/Thomas Raggi
Rating: G
A/N: I blame the Zitti e Buoni cover art.
Summary: In which there's no cell reception at the Moonlight Club, Damiano and Ethan aren't dating, and Victoria and Thomas will soon stop being virgins. At the late night double feature picture show!
Stop me if you've heard this one. (We've heard this one!)
The young couple, Thomas and Victoria, were driving. It was raining. Without warning, their car broke down. Their cell phones had no reception, so their only option was the nightclub they had passed half a mile back. Surely the nightclub would have a landline they could use to call roadside assistance. Thomas and Victoria were both very responsible young adults and knew exactly what to do in these situations: call a professional.
The nightclub was dark. "There's got to be someone there," Victoria said. It was a Saturday night. She had never been to a nightclub on a Saturday night, but she was pretty sure weekend nights were their main source of business.
They knocked on the door. They waited. They knocked on the door again.
"Hello?" Thomas called into the darkness.
The door opened. On the other side stood a man with long dark hair halfway down to his waist. He was shirtless, wearing only leather trousers and a black leather collar. He clearly went to the gym a lot. Thomas and Victoria both took a long moment to stare at and appreciate his chest and biceps.
Thomas suddenly wondered where the nearest gym was. He needed to work out more. He needed-- he either needed to look like this man or touch this man. Either would be fine.
Victoria had similar thoughts.
"Hello," said the man. "What are you doing here?"
"Our car broke down," Victoria said. "We were wondering if we could use your landline, because our phones are out of service."
"It is a cell phone dead area," the man agreed reasonably. Unreasonably, lightning flashed as he finished talking. Victoria and Thomas looked around for where the special effects were coming from. "You can... come in," the man leered at them, or maybe it was just their wishful thinking, and he led them into the nightclub.
It was bright inside, with several disco balls. There was a stage at the far end, where a man in a three-piece suit was dancing around a pole.
"Who are these?" the man shouted toward them.
"Unfortunate travelers seeking a telephone," replied the gorgeous shirtless man who had let them in.
"What's unfortunate about them?" asked the pole-dancer, who was at that moment, slowly taking his clothes off to reveal short black shorts and a sleeveless mesh undershirt. As he got closer, Victoria and Thomas could see that he was also wearing a black leather collar and that his eye makeup took the shape of black wings around his eyes. He glittered. "It's nothing a good make-over won't fix."
"Our car broke down," Victoria repeated. She ignored the part about a make-over. She'd gotten make-overs before. Most of the people who gave them to her seemed to think that once a make-over was finished, she was transformed for good, as if all the work didn't go down the drain by the next day.
Thomas, who didn't have the same childhood Victoria'd had and so didn't know to fear the thought of someone deciding your entire life could be fixed with three hours of work on their part, did not have the sense to ignore that. "What kind of make-over?" Thomas asked innocently.
Both the pole-dancer and the Rapunzel wannabee gave Thomas a heated look. "I'm thinking Tim Curry," said the pole dancer.
"Your thoughts are always terrible," said the doorman. "I don't know why we let you think you run things here. You don't."
The pole-dancer leaned in, like he was telling them a secret. "I'm a servant-leader," he said to them. "I've got books on it."
That didn't sound very believable.
"Anyway, you should come up," said the pole-dancer. "I'm Damiano, that stone-faced muscle man is Ethan, we run this place. This is the Moonlight Club."
"Closed for repairs," said Ethan.
Victoria and Thomas did not see any evidence of any repairs.
"It's very nice," Victoria said.
"It looks like a movie set," Damiano said; they weren't sure if he was disagreeing with them or not.
"And upstairs you have a phone?" Thomas asked. His eyes were going back and forth between Ethan's bare nipples and Damiano's pierced ones. He felt a little distracted. "A working phone?"
"I have no idea," Damiano said. "Ethan?"
"We have internet," Ethan said. "So we've probably got a phone line."
They did not seem the most responsible nightclub owners Victoria and Thomas had ever heard of. On the other hand, they hadn't met many before. Maybe this was the gold standard of the profession.
Or maybe they'd walked into a porn movie. That was also an option. Neither Victoria nor Thomas would admit to the other that they had watched porn; it seemed a post-marriage conversation, both of them privately thought. Better get all the vows said and the paperwork signed before you talked about that kind of thing, and they were still only engaged, with the ceremony months away. Nevertheless, porn did exist. Damiano and Ethan seemed very sexual. This could be a possibility.
"We've also got Rocky," Damiano said. "But he's not working, so don't worry."
"He's... on vacation?" Victoria asked.
"No, he's on a slab in the lab," Damiano said. "Astrally, though, sure, he's on vacation." He moved his head and Victoria tried to count all the crystals on his earrings as they caught the light.
Thomas had gone ahead to the rickety-looking elevator, but paused with one foot outside of it. "Uh, can you elaborate just a tad more on that?" If he was about to walk into a horror movie with Victoria, it was probably best if they remained near the exits. Thomas had seen enough horror movies to know that his odds of survival weren't great.
"He's making a man," Ethan explained, sounding very long-suffering. Victoria wondered if he and Damiano were a couple. "With blonde hair and a tan." Thomas and Victoria both realized abruptly that they were blonde and tanned, and one of them was a man. "Yes, it's a sex thing," Ethan added.
"Uh," said the virgins.
"It's not only a sex thing," objected the pole-dancer. "It's also for my dissertation."
"You could have picked your dissertation topic that wasn't a sex thing," Ethan said. It sounded like a well-worn argument. Yeah, they were definitely dating. Victoria and Thomas individually tried not to find that disappointing. After all, they were in a committed happy relationship. With each other! They were going to be together through thick and thin, through broken down cars and porn stars. They didn't have time for this. They needed a telephone and then they needed to get back to a happy life of happy monogamy. That was absolutely what they were going to do. As soon as they found a phone.
If there wasn't a phone, though... promiscuity sure did suddenly sound fun.
And, really, if they did it together, could it be that bad? Wasn't that just part of being together? 'Being together' didn't mean other people couldn't also be there with them, they reasoned. Victoria's ex-girlfriend had told her about threesomes. They sounded like they could be very wholesome!
Meanwhile, while the travelers tried to repress their sexual awakening, Ethan and Damiano were still bickering over extra-curricular activities and a place called Transylvania that they'd both come from and hadn't been back to since. Ethan wanted to go back. Damiano didn't. Ethan felt like Rocky was taking all of Damiano's attention from him. Damiano objected to this characterization. Half of the discussion happened only with body language, thus cementing Damiano and Ethan's status to Victoria and Thomas as 'definitely an old married couple'.
"Excuse me," Thomas said, "how long have you been together?"
Ethan and Damiano blinked at him. "We're not together," Ethan said.
"We just fuck a lot," Damiano said.
"Getting together would disrupt our friendship," Ethan said.
"Ruin our great relationship," Damiano said.
"Plus he snores," Ethan said.
"And his hair sheds all over the place," Damiano said.
"And he keeps trying to become Doctor Frankenstein and it's really annoying," Ethan said.
"He practices drumming at five in the morning!" Damiano seemed to realize he was losing this debate with his friend-and-or-husband-of-fifty-years. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"
"We run a nightclub, no one's sleeping at five in the morning," Ethan said.
"What nightclub?" Damiano asked. "We've been constantly repairing it for years because you keep trying to figure out how to make it fly us back to Transylvania!"
"There's airplanes for that," Victoria said.
"Transylvania's a galaxy, we're from space, it's not a big deal," Ethan said. Thomas nodded along. That made sense. Surely someone this sexually confident didn't come from the same world he did. If that were the case, then Thomas would have to do some serious thinking about his life and he didn't want to do that. It was much easier to think that if Thomas were also a Transylvanian, he'd also be fine being shirtless in front of strangers.
"The backstory isn't important," Damiano said. "We're not going back!"
"It's just a few photos," Ethan said. "You can definitely live that mustache down. You don't need to never go home again just because of facial hair mistakes."
"Uh, speaking as someone who'd like to go home," Thomas lied, "telephone?"
"I like you," Damiano decided, "You have great ideas. Unlike some people who don't understand jet propulsion systems but think they do and ruin all my tiling for the twelfth time in a row."
"Is it my fault you can't mix grout correctly?" Ethan asked the ceiling. "I do not think it is. I think it's yours."
It seemed an odd conversation for two half-naked men to be having, but then again, what did Victoria know what half-naked men generally got up to. She'd never even seen Thomas in shorts. She wondered if she could ask him to do that. After they were married, of course. And in private. With the lights dimly lit in case Thomas wasn't comfortable baring himself like that to her.
Then again, they were both ogling these two half-naked Transylvanians, so maybe the ship had sailed on that. Maybe... after their wedding... they could be fully naked with each other?
No. That wouldn't work.
But maybe?
Victoria knew how sex worked. She just hadn't realized how nudity worked until ten minutes ago. That's all. She hadn't realized there was a difference.
She thought nudity might be something to explore.
After being lawfully married, definitely not while in a closed nightclub with two men she didn't know, who had moved on to arguing about the best way to cook meatloaf.
Victoria reached out and pinky-swore with Thomas. "We will one day be this married," she whispered.
"But won't deny that we're married," he agreed.
"We're not married," chorused Ethan and Damiano.
"And we're definitely going back to Transylvania," Ethan added.
"We are absolutely not," Damiano added.
"Damiano could go back and Ethan could stay here?" Thomas suggested.
Both of them looked at him in disgust. "We're not going to break up the band."
"Oh, look, a pay phone," said Victoria, noticing it in the corner. All three looked at her. "Uh... which I've definitely forgotten how to use. We can go back to the sexual tension."
"Excellent," said Ethan. "There's a lot of bedrooms upstairs."
"Canopy beds," Damiano added.
"It doesn't count as cheating if we do it together, right?" Thomas asked Victoria, who nodded vigorously.
This entry was originally posted at https://lannamichaels.dreamwidth.org/1227377.html.