home...
I can't wait to get home for the summer.
This semester has just been a huge downer. I can't really think of anything positive that's really gone on, and I can think of a handful of really shitty stuff that has happened.
Thing is, when I'm at home for breaks and such, I feel pretty damn good. It feels like being at school right now is just like wallowing in a pit of emo. I really want to get home, be around my family, all my friends, and my job, and go to the beach and to Portland and all around town and just be happy. Kennebunk's really a happy place for me... I love it.
It'll help me get over that girl, too... Sad as it is, I'm still not over her at all - and it's really just starting to frustrate me. I don't want at all to feel like this. I found out this weekend that she had replaced me within a month. That hurt a lot, and I'd been avoiding finding that out. I'm really not thinking I'll be able to trust a relationship again soon, after all the things she said to me and all the things I felt. Things were so good, she was saying I was a definite keeper, asking me what I thought about the idea of "the one" like she was thinking about it towards me or something... Then two weeks into school and she was done and replaced me soon after that. Maybe this is a rebound, maybe she changed completely in two weeks, maybe she was leading me on, or maybe I was just retarded and misinterpreted everything, but it's confusing as fuck.
I guess the new boyfriend gives some closure to the situation a bit more, sucky though it feels - even in the impossible situation that she came crawling back to me, I wouldn't want to be with her now. But she turned me into her... Evidently she had her heart broken bad before me, and was cautious with me, and now I'm going to probably do the same thing. It's like a chain, and it makes me kinda sad and mad.
Ugh. Home can't come soon enough.
This semester has just been a huge downer. I can't really think of anything positive that's really gone on, and I can think of a handful of really shitty stuff that has happened.
Thing is, when I'm at home for breaks and such, I feel pretty damn good. It feels like being at school right now is just like wallowing in a pit of emo. I really want to get home, be around my family, all my friends, and my job, and go to the beach and to Portland and all around town and just be happy. Kennebunk's really a happy place for me... I love it.
It'll help me get over that girl, too... Sad as it is, I'm still not over her at all - and it's really just starting to frustrate me. I don't want at all to feel like this. I found out this weekend that she had replaced me within a month. That hurt a lot, and I'd been avoiding finding that out. I'm really not thinking I'll be able to trust a relationship again soon, after all the things she said to me and all the things I felt. Things were so good, she was saying I was a definite keeper, asking me what I thought about the idea of "the one" like she was thinking about it towards me or something... Then two weeks into school and she was done and replaced me soon after that. Maybe this is a rebound, maybe she changed completely in two weeks, maybe she was leading me on, or maybe I was just retarded and misinterpreted everything, but it's confusing as fuck.
I guess the new boyfriend gives some closure to the situation a bit more, sucky though it feels - even in the impossible situation that she came crawling back to me, I wouldn't want to be with her now. But she turned me into her... Evidently she had her heart broken bad before me, and was cautious with me, and now I'm going to probably do the same thing. It's like a chain, and it makes me kinda sad and mad.
Ugh. Home can't come soon enough.