Fic: A Season in Snap Shots (Chapter 2: Intuition)
This does follow Chapter One, but you don’t have to read it to understand the conversation.
Story Summary: Kurt and Blaine have a friendly chat about Blaine’s relationship with his father
This was inspired by the general practice in fanon to make Blaine’s dad a homophobic jerk and try to turn that on its ear. I’m totally in the Blaine’s dad is well meaning but misunderstood camp.
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Blaine laughed heartily, clutching his sides. Kurt pursed his lips, glad that his boyfriend was in high spirits, but unable to see what was so funny.
Kurt snatched back his license, tucking into his wallet and throwing the wallet into his bag. They had spent the better half of the day like this, telling secrets and reacting inappropriately. Today Kurt had finally given in and let Blaine know what his middle name was. Blaine had sworn that he wouldn’t laugh… Kurt had only accepted after Blaine told Kurt his middle name, which he did after a long story on how he had to legally change his name because his parents didn’t decide on a middle name until he was four.
“It’s just a middle name, Blaine Harris Anderson. It’s nothing to get excited about.” Kurt folded his arms over his chest.
“For anyone else, yes. But you, you should have the grandest of names like Olivier, Patrocles, Maleficent, or anything from the Disney catalog of wide eyed beauties… Eli is so common.”
“It’s not as if my parents knew I was gay in the womb, Blaine. They expected me to be quite the unremarkable boy.”
“Did they get that wrong… I like it though. Kurt Eli Hummel.”
“Kurtwood.” Kurt responded, saying the name with practiced confidence.
“Come again?”
“It’s Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel.” Kurt responded, accenting each name to clear up any remaining confusion.
“Your name is Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel… that may be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.” Blaine did his best to capture his laughter in his stomach. The sounds of amusement kept bubbling out of his throat.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “I’m not embarrassed about it. My mom’s family, the Smiths, have a naming tradition. The middle names of mother and son match. My mom’s middle name is Elizabeth, so I’m Eli. Gregory was my dad’s dad’s name so they tacked that on too.”
“And Kurtwood?”
“My parents were really big fans of Robocop and wanted to honor the actor who played the guy who shot Robocop in the face… thus creating Robocop.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Blaine responded, flatly.
“It could have been worse, they could have named me after the character… then I would have been Clarence Gregory Eli Smith Hummel.”
“Ha! Clarence. That’s my mom’s maiden name: Lillian Clarence Potter.” Blaine said, loving the name as much as he loved the person.
“About that, Blaine, why don’t you have your parent’s last name?”
Blaine rubbed the back of his head, he was no longer laughing.
“Because I’m adopted.” Blaine responded.
Kurt frowned. “I knew that, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“How long have you known?” Blaine asked, taking the conversation more seriously than Kurt
expected.
“Umm… immediately.”
Blaine huffed. “Well, I didn’t put it together until I was thirteen.”
Kurt gave Blaine his look reserved for the terminally stupid. “Blaine, your parents are black.”
Blaine flopped forward, burying his face in Kurt’s lap. “I know… but I didn’t realize that meant I couldn’t be their son until eighth grade. I had never heard the word adopted.”
Suddenly, that explained a lot to Kurt. Blaine was a lot of things: talented, gentle, beautiful, but he lacked something that most people had in scores: intuition. He wasn’t observant in any capacity, generally needing everything about social interactions explained to him. He hadn’t picked up that Kurt liked him before Kurt told him at Valentines; he hadn’t picked up that Jeremiah didn’t want to be pursued via suggestive song at his place of work before Jeremiah let him down; and he just didn’t understand that he couldn’t pull off orange to save his life… but Kurt hadn’t the heart to tell him that. There were just so many equally important, but more pressing, things to talk about it.
“What happened in eighth grade?” Kurt asked.
“My sister was born…. Elaine looked just like mom and I realized something was off and so I asked.” Blaine responded.
“It never occurred you to ask… earlier? Everyone on my dad’s side of the family is ginger except he and I and I still question Nana Pauline’s fidelity, rest her soul.”
Blaine gave his boyfriend a confused glance before continuing on. “I guess it never seemed strange to me. We never acted like anything other than a regular family… I mean, my parents never explained why my last name was different, but I’m not the only kid who had one parent’s name and not the other and in my old school there was this girl, Marcela, who had her grandparents’ last name because it was custom in Brazil… but when Elaine came along, and my parents were always taking pictures and then she was walking and there was video everywhere… I noticed that I didn’t have those things… and everything had started to change and I was just starting to understand what my feelings for other boys meant…”
“The trifecta: starting high school, new sibling and being a new gay teen…” Kurt rubbed the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck. “What changed?”
“I think it was the way my dad looked at me. My dad loves me, like a lot, but the minute he knew Elaine was coming… it was all he could think about. Dad has a big family and he always wanted one too, but for some reason he and mom couldn’t have kids… that’s why they adopted me… then when Mom got pregnant, it was like his world changed. I know it sounds cliché but it felt like he didn’t have time for me anymore and I really, really needed him.”
“Did you try to talk to him about it?” Kurt asked. “Even my dad had to be pushed into talking about it and he’s a great communicator. I had to play football to get his attention.”
“I put together a car with mine…”
“My dad told me about that.” Kurt said. “He told me you what you said about it… I think… you’re being hard on your dad…”
“Kurt, he tried to make me straight by getting my hands dirty.” Blaine pulled himself from his boyfriend’s lap.
“I don’t think that’s what happened… at least, that’s what your dad told my dad.” Kurt replied.
“Huh?”
“You remember that parents group Brittany’s parents started for the kids in New Directions and they’re partners so all the other parents could get to know each other since their kids spent so much time together?”
“Yeah. What about it?” Blaine’s eyes widened. “Are you going to finally tell me whose mom Puckerman slept with?”
“For the last time, no! I don’t know whose mom it was, only that Puck fled the room like he’d been burned. Lauren only told me that much because I gave her excellent dirt on what happened when Tina quit the Cheerios.”
“I miss Ice Tina.” Blaine admitted, wistfully. When New Directions made a power grab for popularity, Tina Cohen-Chang had taken better to it than Mike Chang had taken to dance, which was to say awesomely.
“She was so fierce. But normal Tina is my favorite. More sweaters to trade… but back to what’s important: our dads met for the first time and they got to talking about the trials of raising gay teens.”
“What did they say?”
“He told my dad that when you were fourteen, you stopped talking. He said that whenever he tried to bring up school or soccer or anything you’d shut him out.” Kurt responded.
“That’s only because when I was thirteen he stopped listening.”
“That’s when your mom was pregnant, right?”
Blaine nodded.
“Your dad and mine talked about how difficult it was for your mom to get pregnant… your dad wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong with the baby and he let that take all his attention… but when you asked if you were adopted, he tried to go back to the way things were before Elaine was born.”
“We never built cars before Elaine was born.”
Kurt frowned. “What kind of things did you used to do together?”
Blaine paused. He furrowed his brow. Kurt tugged gently on his hair as Blaine burrowed his face back into Kurt’s lap.
“Blaine.”
“I don’t think my dad and I ever just did anything… it was always me, him and mom.”
“How old were you when you were adopted?” Kurt asked.
“Three or four. My parents said I was sitting at a table pretending to read to some stuffed animals. They saw me and knew I belonged to them.”
Kurt pouted his lower lip, wishing he could make his boyfriend feel better without trudging through this uncharacteristic melancholy. “In ten years you didn’t do anything together? You and your dad?”
“Well, we read the Harry Potter books together… but I think was more because it was something he was doing and I wanted to do what he was up doing.”
“Did you ever go camping or fishing?”
“My dad is from urban Connecticut. He hates nature. The only things he really likes are engineering, fantasy books, and the Kardashians.”
“And building cars…” Kurt responded, remembering why he had started this line of conversation.
“No, he didn’t… at least not with me.” Blaine responded.
“Then why did he suggest it? I mean, he played sports right? He could have made you go to wrestling shows or strip clubs, but he choose to work on a car with you.”
“You know something I don’t and I’m not going to guess it, so could you tell me?” Blaine pulled his head from Kurt’s lap, dropping his cheek to his palm.
“Your dad told my dad that he overheard you on the phone telling your friend how much fun you thought rebuilding a car would be…”
Blaine frowned, visibly confused. “He did?”
“Because you two didn’t really talk your mom suggested he ease drop and find out things you liked and do them together. Apparently your mom was tired of your dad hovering over her and Elaine and their girl bonding and wanted him to do some boy bonding with you.”
Blaine did remember that conversation. He was talking to a friend from school about what the older kids took for electives in high school. Some seniors spent all their free time racing cars they had spent the last few years building. Blaine couldn’t make it work his schedule work to join the automotive class and club because it conflicted with debate club and student ambassadors.
“I really think your dad just wanted to spend time with you… but he’s not great at communicating his feelings. I mean, I’ve talked to him and it was like pulling teeth.”
“And you didn’t think that had anything to do with you being my boyfriend?” Blaine raised an eyebrow.
Kurt shook his head in the negative. “Remember when your dad had all those friends over for drinks and we could see them through the parlor doors? He didn’t talk to them and they were his friends. I think you just have to accept the fact that your dad is the strong, silent type.”
Blaine chewed that over far longer than Kurt liked.
“And hot.”
Blaine’s eyebrows shot up. He turned a quizzical look to Kurt who shrugged his shoulder.
“He’s hot, Blaine. You need to accept it. Your dad is a DILF.”
“Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel!” Blaine shouted in mock offense. “You shut your filthy mouth!”
“I will not!” Kurt giggled. “I will shout it from the rooftops! Jameson Potter is a DILF!”
Blaine collapsed into a fit of giggles.
“Why do you think I’m into you? Hot dad!” Kurt squealed as Blaine’s busy fingers found his sides and tickled him mercilessly.
“Uh-huh. Tell me, Mr. Hummel, who is hotter? Me or my dad?”
In between fits of hysteric tears and failed attempts at escaping Blaine’s perfect torture, Kurt managed to laugh out “Your dad, but just barely! You’re so hot, Blaine!”
Blaine laughed as he made his boyfriend squirm under his touch. “You know that’s where I get my hotness from? Like father, like adopted son.”
“Agreed! Stop tickling me!”
Blaine stopped his assault, leaving Kurt thoroughly flushed and sensitive on his back on Blaine’s bed. Blaine laid his head on Kurt’s tight stomach and instinctively rubbed the back of his fingers over Kurt’s forearm.
They lay with nothing to say for a few minutes.
“You and your dad,” Blaine said, breaking the silence, “you talk about everything don’t you?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t like bottling things up and always wants you to know where you stand with him. He said it was that being forthright all the time is what got my mom’s attention and since he got something so amazing out of it, he won’t risk missing anything great by clamming up.” Kurt responded.
“Your dad’s awesome.”
“Agreed.”
“I think we should arrange play dates for our dads. Maybe your dad could teach mine how to be a great communicator. My dad’s such an enginerd they wouldn’t have much to talk about other than us and high school sports… then maybe he would talk to me.”
“Or maybe, you could talk to your dad first. You have plenty of interesting things to say to your dad and I’m sure he’d appreciate your initiative.”
“Initiative?” Blaine frowned before continuing with a teasing tone, “That’s the worst. You end up embarrassed when you show initiative. I’m much more content to let things happen to me.”
“You mean you’re too much of a coward to say anything because you think your dad will be totally awkward about building a new relationship with you now.”
This was met with silence.
“Blaine?”
“We’re both right, but let’s go with mine, mine sounds better…”
“What are you afraid will happen if you talk to him, Blaine?”
“That he won’t think I’m interesting …” Blaine responded truthfully.
“Blaine? Have you met you? You’re interesting. You like sports and culture and learning new things, plus you want to go to college to study hospitality. Who does that?”
“I am awesome, aren’t I?”
“I said interesting… not awesome… but the more I think about it, you may be right.”
“What?”
“No, not about your dad not thinking you’re interesting, but about arranging play dates with my dad. I think my dad would like that. There are surprisingly few dads in the New Directions crew, Brittany’s dad is apparently where she gets her… whimsy… from, Santana’s dad only talks about medicine, Mike’s dad only talks to Santana’s dad about medicine and Artie’s dad is apparently kind of an ass, so he doesn’t hang out with them. He doesn’t have that many friends outside of work.”
“What about Rachel’s dads?”
“Blaine, would you want to hang out with the people genetically and socially responsible for Rachel Berry?”
“She’s not so bad…”
“Last week she tried to hold an official referendum for her singing a solo at every competition performance because when we deviate, at all, we tie or lose. Not lead, not major breakouts, but solos. She actually proposed a vote.”
“Okay, she’s history’s greatest monster.” Blaine responded with blunted affect.
“No, that’s the keyboard in the choir room.”
“What? Why?” Blaine asked.
“Never mind… Anyway, I’ll talk to my dad and you talk to your dad and we’ll make a fathers’ play date.”
Blaine laughed into Kurt’s stomach, causing the counter tenor flinch at the sensation. “Oh God! I just realized something. My dad’s middle name is Ernest. If your dad and my dad become besties, they can call each other Burt and Ernie.”
Kurt let out a half amused, half embarrassed groan. “That’s so lame, Blaine. Remind me again why I love you?”
“I don’t know… seems like poor decision making skills on your part.” Blaine responded.
Kurt sat up like a bolt of lightning struck him. Blaine rolled roughly, sitting up and nursing his neck. “Ow, jeez, Kurt. I was joking. You love me because I’m easy on the eyes!” Blaine joked.
“I just realized something, too.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re Harry Potter!” Kurt stated, pointing an accusatory finger.
“False.” Blaine responded, eyeing his boyfriend wearily.
“No, your dad is Jameson and your mom is Lillian Potter… That’s James and Lily Potter. Harry Potter’s parents! Your middle name is Harris, they gave you that name right? Maybe that was your dad trying to bond with you! He would have had to read the books to you when you were younger right? Then you read them together when you got older.”
“That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?” Blaine wanted to flat out call Kurt insane, but Kurt was the one who gave him sweet kisses and forehead rubs, so he treated him gently when it came to his bouts of whimsy.
“Blaine, your dad read the Harry Potter series twice for you! Twice! That’s love!” Kurt concluded, feeling his argument sound and foolproof.
“Those books are awesome. You’re acting like he read Twilight for me.”
The two boys shared a groan at the thought.
“Accusations of witchcraft aside, I think we’ve agreed on the next course of action.”
“You change your name to Potter and we explore cosplay in our make-out sessions?” Kurt responded with a teasing tone.
“You know why I love you?” Blaine responded.
“Enlighten me.”
“You make me smile.” Blaine answered with a glow in his face that Kurt knew very well.
Kurt puffed up and smiled with all his teeth. “Blaine Harris Warbler, if you burst out into song, I will take issue!”
“Oh no, love. You brought this on yourself.” Blaine answered as he leaned behind his bed to pull out his guitar.
Blaine carelessly strummed the chords to the song. His vocal love letters were all about emotion, not perfection.
You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side of my pillow,
that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
Kurt bobbed his head, lulled by his boyfriend’s ridiculous and wonderful nature. Blaine smiled as he sang and Kurt mouthed along with the same radiant smile.
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Blaine finished the last chord before putting his guitar down in his lap.
“A bit on the nose, I know… Did you like it?”
Kurt smiled. “I loved it.”
Kurt leaned forward and gave Blaine a sweet kiss on the lips. He pulled back just enough so he could see Blaine’s eyes. “Now go talk to your dad.”
END.
Song: Uncle Kracker - Smile
Author’s Notes:
Head Cannon:
Snap Shots:
Story Summary: Kurt and Blaine have a friendly chat about Blaine’s relationship with his father
This was inspired by the general practice in fanon to make Blaine’s dad a homophobic jerk and try to turn that on its ear. I’m totally in the Blaine’s dad is well meaning but misunderstood camp.
--
Blaine laughed heartily, clutching his sides. Kurt pursed his lips, glad that his boyfriend was in high spirits, but unable to see what was so funny.
Kurt snatched back his license, tucking into his wallet and throwing the wallet into his bag. They had spent the better half of the day like this, telling secrets and reacting inappropriately. Today Kurt had finally given in and let Blaine know what his middle name was. Blaine had sworn that he wouldn’t laugh… Kurt had only accepted after Blaine told Kurt his middle name, which he did after a long story on how he had to legally change his name because his parents didn’t decide on a middle name until he was four.
“It’s just a middle name, Blaine Harris Anderson. It’s nothing to get excited about.” Kurt folded his arms over his chest.
“For anyone else, yes. But you, you should have the grandest of names like Olivier, Patrocles, Maleficent, or anything from the Disney catalog of wide eyed beauties… Eli is so common.”
“It’s not as if my parents knew I was gay in the womb, Blaine. They expected me to be quite the unremarkable boy.”
“Did they get that wrong… I like it though. Kurt Eli Hummel.”
“Kurtwood.” Kurt responded, saying the name with practiced confidence.
“Come again?”
“It’s Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel.” Kurt responded, accenting each name to clear up any remaining confusion.
“Your name is Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel… that may be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.” Blaine did his best to capture his laughter in his stomach. The sounds of amusement kept bubbling out of his throat.
Kurt rolled his eyes. “I’m not embarrassed about it. My mom’s family, the Smiths, have a naming tradition. The middle names of mother and son match. My mom’s middle name is Elizabeth, so I’m Eli. Gregory was my dad’s dad’s name so they tacked that on too.”
“And Kurtwood?”
“My parents were really big fans of Robocop and wanted to honor the actor who played the guy who shot Robocop in the face… thus creating Robocop.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Blaine responded, flatly.
“It could have been worse, they could have named me after the character… then I would have been Clarence Gregory Eli Smith Hummel.”
“Ha! Clarence. That’s my mom’s maiden name: Lillian Clarence Potter.” Blaine said, loving the name as much as he loved the person.
“About that, Blaine, why don’t you have your parent’s last name?”
Blaine rubbed the back of his head, he was no longer laughing.
“Because I’m adopted.” Blaine responded.
Kurt frowned. “I knew that, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“How long have you known?” Blaine asked, taking the conversation more seriously than Kurt
expected.
“Umm… immediately.”
Blaine huffed. “Well, I didn’t put it together until I was thirteen.”
Kurt gave Blaine his look reserved for the terminally stupid. “Blaine, your parents are black.”
Blaine flopped forward, burying his face in Kurt’s lap. “I know… but I didn’t realize that meant I couldn’t be their son until eighth grade. I had never heard the word adopted.”
Suddenly, that explained a lot to Kurt. Blaine was a lot of things: talented, gentle, beautiful, but he lacked something that most people had in scores: intuition. He wasn’t observant in any capacity, generally needing everything about social interactions explained to him. He hadn’t picked up that Kurt liked him before Kurt told him at Valentines; he hadn’t picked up that Jeremiah didn’t want to be pursued via suggestive song at his place of work before Jeremiah let him down; and he just didn’t understand that he couldn’t pull off orange to save his life… but Kurt hadn’t the heart to tell him that. There were just so many equally important, but more pressing, things to talk about it.
“What happened in eighth grade?” Kurt asked.
“My sister was born…. Elaine looked just like mom and I realized something was off and so I asked.” Blaine responded.
“It never occurred you to ask… earlier? Everyone on my dad’s side of the family is ginger except he and I and I still question Nana Pauline’s fidelity, rest her soul.”
Blaine gave his boyfriend a confused glance before continuing on. “I guess it never seemed strange to me. We never acted like anything other than a regular family… I mean, my parents never explained why my last name was different, but I’m not the only kid who had one parent’s name and not the other and in my old school there was this girl, Marcela, who had her grandparents’ last name because it was custom in Brazil… but when Elaine came along, and my parents were always taking pictures and then she was walking and there was video everywhere… I noticed that I didn’t have those things… and everything had started to change and I was just starting to understand what my feelings for other boys meant…”
“The trifecta: starting high school, new sibling and being a new gay teen…” Kurt rubbed the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck. “What changed?”
“I think it was the way my dad looked at me. My dad loves me, like a lot, but the minute he knew Elaine was coming… it was all he could think about. Dad has a big family and he always wanted one too, but for some reason he and mom couldn’t have kids… that’s why they adopted me… then when Mom got pregnant, it was like his world changed. I know it sounds cliché but it felt like he didn’t have time for me anymore and I really, really needed him.”
“Did you try to talk to him about it?” Kurt asked. “Even my dad had to be pushed into talking about it and he’s a great communicator. I had to play football to get his attention.”
“I put together a car with mine…”
“My dad told me about that.” Kurt said. “He told me you what you said about it… I think… you’re being hard on your dad…”
“Kurt, he tried to make me straight by getting my hands dirty.” Blaine pulled himself from his boyfriend’s lap.
“I don’t think that’s what happened… at least, that’s what your dad told my dad.” Kurt replied.
“Huh?”
“You remember that parents group Brittany’s parents started for the kids in New Directions and they’re partners so all the other parents could get to know each other since their kids spent so much time together?”
“Yeah. What about it?” Blaine’s eyes widened. “Are you going to finally tell me whose mom Puckerman slept with?”
“For the last time, no! I don’t know whose mom it was, only that Puck fled the room like he’d been burned. Lauren only told me that much because I gave her excellent dirt on what happened when Tina quit the Cheerios.”
“I miss Ice Tina.” Blaine admitted, wistfully. When New Directions made a power grab for popularity, Tina Cohen-Chang had taken better to it than Mike Chang had taken to dance, which was to say awesomely.
“She was so fierce. But normal Tina is my favorite. More sweaters to trade… but back to what’s important: our dads met for the first time and they got to talking about the trials of raising gay teens.”
“What did they say?”
“He told my dad that when you were fourteen, you stopped talking. He said that whenever he tried to bring up school or soccer or anything you’d shut him out.” Kurt responded.
“That’s only because when I was thirteen he stopped listening.”
“That’s when your mom was pregnant, right?”
Blaine nodded.
“Your dad and mine talked about how difficult it was for your mom to get pregnant… your dad wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong with the baby and he let that take all his attention… but when you asked if you were adopted, he tried to go back to the way things were before Elaine was born.”
“We never built cars before Elaine was born.”
Kurt frowned. “What kind of things did you used to do together?”
Blaine paused. He furrowed his brow. Kurt tugged gently on his hair as Blaine burrowed his face back into Kurt’s lap.
“Blaine.”
“I don’t think my dad and I ever just did anything… it was always me, him and mom.”
“How old were you when you were adopted?” Kurt asked.
“Three or four. My parents said I was sitting at a table pretending to read to some stuffed animals. They saw me and knew I belonged to them.”
Kurt pouted his lower lip, wishing he could make his boyfriend feel better without trudging through this uncharacteristic melancholy. “In ten years you didn’t do anything together? You and your dad?”
“Well, we read the Harry Potter books together… but I think was more because it was something he was doing and I wanted to do what he was up doing.”
“Did you ever go camping or fishing?”
“My dad is from urban Connecticut. He hates nature. The only things he really likes are engineering, fantasy books, and the Kardashians.”
“And building cars…” Kurt responded, remembering why he had started this line of conversation.
“No, he didn’t… at least not with me.” Blaine responded.
“Then why did he suggest it? I mean, he played sports right? He could have made you go to wrestling shows or strip clubs, but he choose to work on a car with you.”
“You know something I don’t and I’m not going to guess it, so could you tell me?” Blaine pulled his head from Kurt’s lap, dropping his cheek to his palm.
“Your dad told my dad that he overheard you on the phone telling your friend how much fun you thought rebuilding a car would be…”
Blaine frowned, visibly confused. “He did?”
“Because you two didn’t really talk your mom suggested he ease drop and find out things you liked and do them together. Apparently your mom was tired of your dad hovering over her and Elaine and their girl bonding and wanted him to do some boy bonding with you.”
Blaine did remember that conversation. He was talking to a friend from school about what the older kids took for electives in high school. Some seniors spent all their free time racing cars they had spent the last few years building. Blaine couldn’t make it work his schedule work to join the automotive class and club because it conflicted with debate club and student ambassadors.
“I really think your dad just wanted to spend time with you… but he’s not great at communicating his feelings. I mean, I’ve talked to him and it was like pulling teeth.”
“And you didn’t think that had anything to do with you being my boyfriend?” Blaine raised an eyebrow.
Kurt shook his head in the negative. “Remember when your dad had all those friends over for drinks and we could see them through the parlor doors? He didn’t talk to them and they were his friends. I think you just have to accept the fact that your dad is the strong, silent type.”
Blaine chewed that over far longer than Kurt liked.
“And hot.”
Blaine’s eyebrows shot up. He turned a quizzical look to Kurt who shrugged his shoulder.
“He’s hot, Blaine. You need to accept it. Your dad is a DILF.”
“Kurtwood Gregory Eli Smith Hummel!” Blaine shouted in mock offense. “You shut your filthy mouth!”
“I will not!” Kurt giggled. “I will shout it from the rooftops! Jameson Potter is a DILF!”
Blaine collapsed into a fit of giggles.
“Why do you think I’m into you? Hot dad!” Kurt squealed as Blaine’s busy fingers found his sides and tickled him mercilessly.
“Uh-huh. Tell me, Mr. Hummel, who is hotter? Me or my dad?”
In between fits of hysteric tears and failed attempts at escaping Blaine’s perfect torture, Kurt managed to laugh out “Your dad, but just barely! You’re so hot, Blaine!”
Blaine laughed as he made his boyfriend squirm under his touch. “You know that’s where I get my hotness from? Like father, like adopted son.”
“Agreed! Stop tickling me!”
Blaine stopped his assault, leaving Kurt thoroughly flushed and sensitive on his back on Blaine’s bed. Blaine laid his head on Kurt’s tight stomach and instinctively rubbed the back of his fingers over Kurt’s forearm.
They lay with nothing to say for a few minutes.
“You and your dad,” Blaine said, breaking the silence, “you talk about everything don’t you?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t like bottling things up and always wants you to know where you stand with him. He said it was that being forthright all the time is what got my mom’s attention and since he got something so amazing out of it, he won’t risk missing anything great by clamming up.” Kurt responded.
“Your dad’s awesome.”
“Agreed.”
“I think we should arrange play dates for our dads. Maybe your dad could teach mine how to be a great communicator. My dad’s such an enginerd they wouldn’t have much to talk about other than us and high school sports… then maybe he would talk to me.”
“Or maybe, you could talk to your dad first. You have plenty of interesting things to say to your dad and I’m sure he’d appreciate your initiative.”
“Initiative?” Blaine frowned before continuing with a teasing tone, “That’s the worst. You end up embarrassed when you show initiative. I’m much more content to let things happen to me.”
“You mean you’re too much of a coward to say anything because you think your dad will be totally awkward about building a new relationship with you now.”
This was met with silence.
“Blaine?”
“We’re both right, but let’s go with mine, mine sounds better…”
“What are you afraid will happen if you talk to him, Blaine?”
“That he won’t think I’m interesting …” Blaine responded truthfully.
“Blaine? Have you met you? You’re interesting. You like sports and culture and learning new things, plus you want to go to college to study hospitality. Who does that?”
“I am awesome, aren’t I?”
“I said interesting… not awesome… but the more I think about it, you may be right.”
“What?”
“No, not about your dad not thinking you’re interesting, but about arranging play dates with my dad. I think my dad would like that. There are surprisingly few dads in the New Directions crew, Brittany’s dad is apparently where she gets her… whimsy… from, Santana’s dad only talks about medicine, Mike’s dad only talks to Santana’s dad about medicine and Artie’s dad is apparently kind of an ass, so he doesn’t hang out with them. He doesn’t have that many friends outside of work.”
“What about Rachel’s dads?”
“Blaine, would you want to hang out with the people genetically and socially responsible for Rachel Berry?”
“She’s not so bad…”
“Last week she tried to hold an official referendum for her singing a solo at every competition performance because when we deviate, at all, we tie or lose. Not lead, not major breakouts, but solos. She actually proposed a vote.”
“Okay, she’s history’s greatest monster.” Blaine responded with blunted affect.
“No, that’s the keyboard in the choir room.”
“What? Why?” Blaine asked.
“Never mind… Anyway, I’ll talk to my dad and you talk to your dad and we’ll make a fathers’ play date.”
Blaine laughed into Kurt’s stomach, causing the counter tenor flinch at the sensation. “Oh God! I just realized something. My dad’s middle name is Ernest. If your dad and my dad become besties, they can call each other Burt and Ernie.”
Kurt let out a half amused, half embarrassed groan. “That’s so lame, Blaine. Remind me again why I love you?”
“I don’t know… seems like poor decision making skills on your part.” Blaine responded.
Kurt sat up like a bolt of lightning struck him. Blaine rolled roughly, sitting up and nursing his neck. “Ow, jeez, Kurt. I was joking. You love me because I’m easy on the eyes!” Blaine joked.
“I just realized something, too.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re Harry Potter!” Kurt stated, pointing an accusatory finger.
“False.” Blaine responded, eyeing his boyfriend wearily.
“No, your dad is Jameson and your mom is Lillian Potter… That’s James and Lily Potter. Harry Potter’s parents! Your middle name is Harris, they gave you that name right? Maybe that was your dad trying to bond with you! He would have had to read the books to you when you were younger right? Then you read them together when you got older.”
“That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?” Blaine wanted to flat out call Kurt insane, but Kurt was the one who gave him sweet kisses and forehead rubs, so he treated him gently when it came to his bouts of whimsy.
“Blaine, your dad read the Harry Potter series twice for you! Twice! That’s love!” Kurt concluded, feeling his argument sound and foolproof.
“Those books are awesome. You’re acting like he read Twilight for me.”
The two boys shared a groan at the thought.
“Accusations of witchcraft aside, I think we’ve agreed on the next course of action.”
“You change your name to Potter and we explore cosplay in our make-out sessions?” Kurt responded with a teasing tone.
“You know why I love you?” Blaine responded.
“Enlighten me.”
“You make me smile.” Blaine answered with a glow in his face that Kurt knew very well.
Kurt puffed up and smiled with all his teeth. “Blaine Harris Warbler, if you burst out into song, I will take issue!”
“Oh no, love. You brought this on yourself.” Blaine answered as he leaned behind his bed to pull out his guitar.
Blaine carelessly strummed the chords to the song. His vocal love letters were all about emotion, not perfection.
You're better than the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side of my pillow,
that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
Kurt bobbed his head, lulled by his boyfriend’s ridiculous and wonderful nature. Blaine smiled as he sang and Kurt mouthed along with the same radiant smile.
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Blaine finished the last chord before putting his guitar down in his lap.
“A bit on the nose, I know… Did you like it?”
Kurt smiled. “I loved it.”
Kurt leaned forward and gave Blaine a sweet kiss on the lips. He pulled back just enough so he could see Blaine’s eyes. “Now go talk to your dad.”
END.
Song: Uncle Kracker - Smile
Author’s Notes:
Head Cannon:
- For some reason, I feel like Blaine is adopted. It’s just something that makes sense to me. His having black parents and not realizing his adopted is just ridiculous, but why not?
Snap Shots:
- There is a reference to “Ice Tina” , who is a Mean Girls-esque persona Tina adopts during another snap shot. When I finish, I’ll post that Snap Shot and all the others to my livejournal.
- There’s also a reference to the jazz band’s keyboard as “History’s Greatest Monster” (which it totally is for derailing the Klaine Train during Original Songs), but there’s another snap shot related to Klaine that I’ll post eventually.