(no subject)
i hate when i call out sick only to end up with symptoms i called out with... it turned out for the best, i suppose. i was here for nico's debilitating nosedive into some sort of catatonic rat coma.
took him to the vet and probably should have had him put to sleep. but i was hoping maybe some fluids would perk him up and he could recover. i think i was selfish, but i really did think it might help. i guess i was kidding myself.
bandit died in december. since then the others have trickled off. much faster than i expected. after tomorrow i'll only have templeton left all by himself. this is by far the worst i've ever had my rats die on me. all of them but bandit have been slow miserable deaths, this one being the most gory (and expensive). and poor templeton has barely ever lived by himself. when nico was out for his surgery templeton seemed more lethargic, and after blaze died johnny followed almost immediately after. i know. i know they aren't supposed to last for long, but this has been pretty crushing. one after another.
along with this ongoing rat stress - it's been pretty constant since blaze got sick - i'm losing my patience with work, and i just can't seem to get a handle on all of my responsibilities. i feel like i've been backsliding into my previous best buy days. i'm broke and can't save any money, am over committed, short tempered, and depressed. i've started coming home and just going to bed. i'm constantly exhausted, and its just such a struggle to get excited about anything. derby is wearing me out, even when it is fulfilling.
i just don't know what to do anymore.
took him to the vet and probably should have had him put to sleep. but i was hoping maybe some fluids would perk him up and he could recover. i think i was selfish, but i really did think it might help. i guess i was kidding myself.
bandit died in december. since then the others have trickled off. much faster than i expected. after tomorrow i'll only have templeton left all by himself. this is by far the worst i've ever had my rats die on me. all of them but bandit have been slow miserable deaths, this one being the most gory (and expensive). and poor templeton has barely ever lived by himself. when nico was out for his surgery templeton seemed more lethargic, and after blaze died johnny followed almost immediately after. i know. i know they aren't supposed to last for long, but this has been pretty crushing. one after another.
along with this ongoing rat stress - it's been pretty constant since blaze got sick - i'm losing my patience with work, and i just can't seem to get a handle on all of my responsibilities. i feel like i've been backsliding into my previous best buy days. i'm broke and can't save any money, am over committed, short tempered, and depressed. i've started coming home and just going to bed. i'm constantly exhausted, and its just such a struggle to get excited about anything. derby is wearing me out, even when it is fulfilling.
i just don't know what to do anymore.