My life is a sitcom, but one of those really unfunny and slightly racist ones
I got on the bus today and was greated by a fat black woman driver. I thought nothing of it because I do live in a big city and I'm sure the proportion of fat black woman bus drivers is appropriate. So far, so good. Interestingly enough, she didn't have a Carribean accent, or any accent really, besides fat black woman accent.
About 5 minutes into the Southward descent, right after letting a passenger out, she started, uh, chiding herself? "What the hell are you doing? What... Oh you crazy!" She leaped out of the bus and I followed her with my gaze right to a car that apparently skid and lightly touched the bus. I saw her gesticulating her arms but not as wildly as common lore would suggest. The driver was an Asian man and he was doing his best to weasel his way out of it, including wiping the side of the bus to demonstrate that there was no damage. The bus driver kept gesturing at him, then walked into the bus throughly amused, laughing to herself and saying unintelligible things to the only two passengers. Then she went out again and argued with him some more. When she went back into the bus to get her information, the Asian man carefully got into the car, slowly put on his seatbelt and drove away. "Whatta!? He just drove away! I got his license plate and he just drove away! AHAHAHA!" Looking at us, "You see that? He just left!" We nod uncomfortably. "HAHAHA! I just went to get mah information and he left!" Eventually she calmed down enough to call dispatch and start talking to them. Meanwhile, the other passenger and I sat there quietly, too Canadian to complain about this whole ordeal. Once she was done talking to dispatch, she turned to us and said she'll hail the next bus for us. Right as she finished her sentence, the bus drove right past us. She called the guy a "goof".
The driver of the next bus was a crazy black man that was on the verge of losing control of the bus at any moment and almost crashed into an SUV. He laughed at the behaviour of the other vehicle on the road (I guess people that follow the rules are pretty funny when you are batshit insane). Finally getting off that meatwagon, I enthusiastically watched the other bus I needed to transferr to drive away from right under my nose and I heard the outro play.
As the credits scrolled, you could see me freezing in the cold, unable to feel my toes for FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES while some 30 buses passed (including at least 7 instances of the 5 - Clark bus, which is not even a big line).
Oh yeah, and my MP3 player's battery was dead for this whole time.
About 5 minutes into the Southward descent, right after letting a passenger out, she started, uh, chiding herself? "What the hell are you doing? What... Oh you crazy!" She leaped out of the bus and I followed her with my gaze right to a car that apparently skid and lightly touched the bus. I saw her gesticulating her arms but not as wildly as common lore would suggest. The driver was an Asian man and he was doing his best to weasel his way out of it, including wiping the side of the bus to demonstrate that there was no damage. The bus driver kept gesturing at him, then walked into the bus throughly amused, laughing to herself and saying unintelligible things to the only two passengers. Then she went out again and argued with him some more. When she went back into the bus to get her information, the Asian man carefully got into the car, slowly put on his seatbelt and drove away. "Whatta!? He just drove away! I got his license plate and he just drove away! AHAHAHA!" Looking at us, "You see that? He just left!" We nod uncomfortably. "HAHAHA! I just went to get mah information and he left!" Eventually she calmed down enough to call dispatch and start talking to them. Meanwhile, the other passenger and I sat there quietly, too Canadian to complain about this whole ordeal. Once she was done talking to dispatch, she turned to us and said she'll hail the next bus for us. Right as she finished her sentence, the bus drove right past us. She called the guy a "goof".
The driver of the next bus was a crazy black man that was on the verge of losing control of the bus at any moment and almost crashed into an SUV. He laughed at the behaviour of the other vehicle on the road (I guess people that follow the rules are pretty funny when you are batshit insane). Finally getting off that meatwagon, I enthusiastically watched the other bus I needed to transferr to drive away from right under my nose and I heard the outro play.
As the credits scrolled, you could see me freezing in the cold, unable to feel my toes for FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES while some 30 buses passed (including at least 7 instances of the 5 - Clark bus, which is not even a big line).
Oh yeah, and my MP3 player's battery was dead for this whole time.