Casey Walker is not Bella Swan
I am either young, stupid, girlish, or needy. Or perhaps all of the above. I'm not really sure yet, but I really can't stand the feelings inside of my chest. They're irrational-- and I'd say immature, except that it's not any less mature than might be expected of a twenty-year-old. Hopefully.
But I am pretty convinced of one thing; that is, to say exactly what I'm feeling will make me sound like I'm emo again, and as I have thankfully determined, being emo is neither cool nor acceptable at any life stage. And saying it in Japanese doesn't make it any less ridiculous. The whole, "I want to eat chocolate but it won't make me feel better, and I was with my friends but I wasn't even really happy because I wanted my boyfriends to be there too," retarded business. There is only one word for that kind of word vomit: ridiculous.
The problem is, what do you do if you actually feel ridiculous? If you are honestly feeling like word-vomiting, would it in fact make you a poser by not letting yourself be ridiculous - and therefore, emo? And which of the two is worse? Thank god I'm not in high school any more; this could have been a serious identity crisis.
HOWEVER, even in college there are still chances remaining for identity crisises of undeserved and unfair proportions. It went like this, last night, while we were chopping up a giant block of steak for dinner (free from Matt's company) and I was maybe enjoying the feel of a giant cow's leg more than is acceptable (both Matt and I were, actually... it was tender and delicious-feeling) and Laura reminded me of a skype conversation that I'd BLOCKED OUT FROM MY MEMORY last year in which my mom told me that "some day I'll find some nice, good man... with a name like EDWARD."
EDWARD, she said.
Blood was dripping down into the sink. I was like, WHAT.
I AM NOT BELLA SWAN. I am a functional human being who doesn't have, or intend to have, half-vampire babies. I don't like boys who sparkle in the sunlight with creepy twinkly music. I don't. Really. I mean, seriously, so what if I'm feeling emo, and I did have dreams about a half-asian magical google-map baby, and okay, so maybe my boyfriend is abnormally tall, and abnormally good at sports, and once ran around in shiny body paint and one time made a joke about sucking my blood BUT PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, BECAUSE I AM NOT BELLA SWAN.
THANKS.
Edit:
Later he reads my facebook status (appropriately Casey Walker is not Bella Swan) and went around saying (Ken Iwazumi is not Edward Cullen). To some people this may qualify as amazing. I admit it-- I am one of these people
But I am pretty convinced of one thing; that is, to say exactly what I'm feeling will make me sound like I'm emo again, and as I have thankfully determined, being emo is neither cool nor acceptable at any life stage. And saying it in Japanese doesn't make it any less ridiculous. The whole, "I want to eat chocolate but it won't make me feel better, and I was with my friends but I wasn't even really happy because I wanted my boyfriends to be there too," retarded business. There is only one word for that kind of word vomit: ridiculous.
The problem is, what do you do if you actually feel ridiculous? If you are honestly feeling like word-vomiting, would it in fact make you a poser by not letting yourself be ridiculous - and therefore, emo? And which of the two is worse? Thank god I'm not in high school any more; this could have been a serious identity crisis.
HOWEVER, even in college there are still chances remaining for identity crisises of undeserved and unfair proportions. It went like this, last night, while we were chopping up a giant block of steak for dinner (free from Matt's company) and I was maybe enjoying the feel of a giant cow's leg more than is acceptable (both Matt and I were, actually... it was tender and delicious-feeling) and Laura reminded me of a skype conversation that I'd BLOCKED OUT FROM MY MEMORY last year in which my mom told me that "some day I'll find some nice, good man... with a name like EDWARD."
EDWARD, she said.
Blood was dripping down into the sink. I was like, WHAT.
I AM NOT BELLA SWAN. I am a functional human being who doesn't have, or intend to have, half-vampire babies. I don't like boys who sparkle in the sunlight with creepy twinkly music. I don't. Really. I mean, seriously, so what if I'm feeling emo, and I did have dreams about a half-asian magical google-map baby, and okay, so maybe my boyfriend is abnormally tall, and abnormally good at sports, and once ran around in shiny body paint and one time made a joke about sucking my blood BUT PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, BECAUSE I AM NOT BELLA SWAN.
THANKS.
Edit:
Later he reads my facebook status (appropriately Casey Walker is not Bella Swan) and went around saying (Ken Iwazumi is not Edward Cullen). To some people this may qualify as amazing. I admit it-- I am one of these people