update
Well since all i was doing was read diet stuff and watching tv when an email requesting an update arrived i decided to post something.
Probably my most traumatic event that happened since my last entry that i have had the heart to write about was on November 27th i believe, 10 days after my 19th bday. I was sitting in the coffee house and my mom called me around 10:30 which was strange, so i answered it and to make a long and painful story short she said, "Cindy died." Cindy, my 18 year old dog, the one i've had since i was 1, if you have read previous entries you'll have seen when TJ and i were dating there was an event when my parents tried to convince me to put her down, which resulted in a break down. God it still hurts to think about it, for christmas i recieved 2 framed pictures of her, one of which i drew myself. I almost cried when i recieved a picture of her when she was younger and less pathetic looking. Feeling this grief makes me definently hesitate buying another pet in the future.
Aside from that depressing bit, the end of the school year went very well. I got As in all of my classes except for my pass/fail course which i got a P for pass in lol. I'm greatly looking forward to next semester i only have 10 classes, compared to last semesters 13. And i'm doing the opera(3rd quarter) and the play house and garden(4th quarter). The classes i'll be taking next semester are: Theory I, Freshman survival skills part 2, Experimental Psych, A Cappella Choir, College Comp, Aural Skills, Applied Voice, Applied Piano, Recitals, and Opera Ensemble. Also i plan on starting a diet which i go back.
Another issue, i've of course been dealing with, but more so as of late, is my weight. I have gotten into a horrible habit of snacking before i go to bed (from 12-3) since i've come home for the break. SO much so that i have gained 5 pounds since i've come home making my weight currently 180 from the 175 i had managed to maintain since summer of 06. *sigh* 5 pounds doesn't sound like much but it is a total blow to my self esteem and i can see the weight in my face. And i feel like my stomach is huge! This has definently gotten me pumped to tackle losing weight again. I plan on exercising at school in the gym as often as possible, i'll even write it down in my planner and on my door schedule. I think i'm going to try and avoid eating in the cafeteria since they don't provide any form of healthy protein and i'll be too tempted to stray should i be tempted with fried foods and all their deserts. I'm going to have to figure out what snacks i'm going to eat throughout the day b/c w/ my last diet i burned myself out on granola bars. So if anyone has any ideas or personal weight loss tips please feel free to share.
Now for the topic most ppl read my lj for is my relationship/sex life. After the rocky time i had with Sean during thanksgiving break, things couldn't be any better. One of the days of the last play (which went well for me [as the pre show entertainment] but got really bad reviews from friends and family) We spent the night in the on campus hotel aka givens hall/white house/alumni house. We had fun in the shower and it was so intimate and just simply wonderful kissing tenderly under the water and holding each other close, it felt so perfect it would have been a wonderful time to lose my virginity, but of course my period decided to show up so sadly that didn't happen, but we did have a wonderful time. Now that i've been back Sean's been wonderfully sweet. HE makes me feel beyond wonderful and not just b/c of the physical stuff. But don't get me wrong that is amazing! There was one day where he fingered me to the extent that i was thrashing around, clinging to him and talking dirtier than i ever have (the hornier/more turned on i am the dirtier i talk). Last wednesday before he went back to school he was using my toy on me and gave me a g spot orgasm which shockingly caused me to have a female ejaculation! I didn't know i could do that. It wasn't like how it is on some porn clips titled "squirting" where it looks like a fire hose. I'm no where near that, thank god, but i did leave quite a wet spot on his bed which i was a little embarrassed about, plus i felt bad that i made his bed wet. But he insisted that he didn't care and thought it was hot. He's really seemed focused on my physical satisfaction lately which attracts me to him even more. Oh! and he made me cum with oral for the first time. Hm that doesn't seem quite clear, i mean i have cum before with oral sex, but that was the first time he has made me cum going down on me. Although its kind of strange, when he fingers me like he has been my orgasms haven't been as deep as they normally are, its kind of more of a emotional/psychological satisfaction i think, i mean of course its physically satisfying to some extent, but he can't sustain the speed or intensity for very long b/c its too strenuous for his hand/arm, which i'm fine with but its been a long time since i've had a really deep orgasm.
As far as the emotional aspect of our relationship goes i couldn't be happier, he's so careful to keep me happy. He's the complete gentleman. If this is any clue, his new year's resolution is to be a better bf to me. He constantly tells me i'm beautiful, which especially as of late i fine hard to believe or when i had my wisdom teeth surgically removed about a week after i came home(that definently was not fun), he insisted i was still beautiful. I am so grateful to have him in my life he makes me so happy, but it makes me so sad having to leave him to go back to school, i had a mini break down today which left me crying a little bit, luckily i was able to keep the tears back while he drove me home and while he asked me what was wrong, but i couldn't help but cry a little while we talked on the phone. When i think about the future, i could definently see myself with him in the future, for a really long time he just always seems so willing to do anything i asked or something that he knows i would appreciate or would make me happy. It sort of scares me loving someone this much, some nights i imagine him leaving my life or not being there and it brings me to tears. I'm so afraid of losing someone so very close to me. I hate having to leave him to go to school heck i hate leaving him due to his curfew (yes he still has a curfew *sigh*) As far as losing my virginity goes, i know if we have a situation like we did at school in the Alumni house i will feel more than ready, but right now it makes me a little anxious. lol it might help if he makes me unbareably horny too. Well that's all i can think of to talk about for now -Lani
PS Another fun thing i forgot to mention on New Year's we convinced his parents to let him spend the night, nothing to extravagant happened, we of course fooled around, but not a whole lot since it was late and we were both tired, not to mention he and i had fooled around at other points during the day
Probably my most traumatic event that happened since my last entry that i have had the heart to write about was on November 27th i believe, 10 days after my 19th bday. I was sitting in the coffee house and my mom called me around 10:30 which was strange, so i answered it and to make a long and painful story short she said, "Cindy died." Cindy, my 18 year old dog, the one i've had since i was 1, if you have read previous entries you'll have seen when TJ and i were dating there was an event when my parents tried to convince me to put her down, which resulted in a break down. God it still hurts to think about it, for christmas i recieved 2 framed pictures of her, one of which i drew myself. I almost cried when i recieved a picture of her when she was younger and less pathetic looking. Feeling this grief makes me definently hesitate buying another pet in the future.
Aside from that depressing bit, the end of the school year went very well. I got As in all of my classes except for my pass/fail course which i got a P for pass in lol. I'm greatly looking forward to next semester i only have 10 classes, compared to last semesters 13. And i'm doing the opera(3rd quarter) and the play house and garden(4th quarter). The classes i'll be taking next semester are: Theory I, Freshman survival skills part 2, Experimental Psych, A Cappella Choir, College Comp, Aural Skills, Applied Voice, Applied Piano, Recitals, and Opera Ensemble. Also i plan on starting a diet which i go back.
Another issue, i've of course been dealing with, but more so as of late, is my weight. I have gotten into a horrible habit of snacking before i go to bed (from 12-3) since i've come home for the break. SO much so that i have gained 5 pounds since i've come home making my weight currently 180 from the 175 i had managed to maintain since summer of 06. *sigh* 5 pounds doesn't sound like much but it is a total blow to my self esteem and i can see the weight in my face. And i feel like my stomach is huge! This has definently gotten me pumped to tackle losing weight again. I plan on exercising at school in the gym as often as possible, i'll even write it down in my planner and on my door schedule. I think i'm going to try and avoid eating in the cafeteria since they don't provide any form of healthy protein and i'll be too tempted to stray should i be tempted with fried foods and all their deserts. I'm going to have to figure out what snacks i'm going to eat throughout the day b/c w/ my last diet i burned myself out on granola bars. So if anyone has any ideas or personal weight loss tips please feel free to share.
Now for the topic most ppl read my lj for is my relationship/sex life. After the rocky time i had with Sean during thanksgiving break, things couldn't be any better. One of the days of the last play (which went well for me [as the pre show entertainment] but got really bad reviews from friends and family) We spent the night in the on campus hotel aka givens hall/white house/alumni house. We had fun in the shower and it was so intimate and just simply wonderful kissing tenderly under the water and holding each other close, it felt so perfect it would have been a wonderful time to lose my virginity, but of course my period decided to show up so sadly that didn't happen, but we did have a wonderful time. Now that i've been back Sean's been wonderfully sweet. HE makes me feel beyond wonderful and not just b/c of the physical stuff. But don't get me wrong that is amazing! There was one day where he fingered me to the extent that i was thrashing around, clinging to him and talking dirtier than i ever have (the hornier/more turned on i am the dirtier i talk). Last wednesday before he went back to school he was using my toy on me and gave me a g spot orgasm which shockingly caused me to have a female ejaculation! I didn't know i could do that. It wasn't like how it is on some porn clips titled "squirting" where it looks like a fire hose. I'm no where near that, thank god, but i did leave quite a wet spot on his bed which i was a little embarrassed about, plus i felt bad that i made his bed wet. But he insisted that he didn't care and thought it was hot. He's really seemed focused on my physical satisfaction lately which attracts me to him even more. Oh! and he made me cum with oral for the first time. Hm that doesn't seem quite clear, i mean i have cum before with oral sex, but that was the first time he has made me cum going down on me. Although its kind of strange, when he fingers me like he has been my orgasms haven't been as deep as they normally are, its kind of more of a emotional/psychological satisfaction i think, i mean of course its physically satisfying to some extent, but he can't sustain the speed or intensity for very long b/c its too strenuous for his hand/arm, which i'm fine with but its been a long time since i've had a really deep orgasm.
As far as the emotional aspect of our relationship goes i couldn't be happier, he's so careful to keep me happy. He's the complete gentleman. If this is any clue, his new year's resolution is to be a better bf to me. He constantly tells me i'm beautiful, which especially as of late i fine hard to believe or when i had my wisdom teeth surgically removed about a week after i came home(that definently was not fun), he insisted i was still beautiful. I am so grateful to have him in my life he makes me so happy, but it makes me so sad having to leave him to go back to school, i had a mini break down today which left me crying a little bit, luckily i was able to keep the tears back while he drove me home and while he asked me what was wrong, but i couldn't help but cry a little while we talked on the phone. When i think about the future, i could definently see myself with him in the future, for a really long time he just always seems so willing to do anything i asked or something that he knows i would appreciate or would make me happy. It sort of scares me loving someone this much, some nights i imagine him leaving my life or not being there and it brings me to tears. I'm so afraid of losing someone so very close to me. I hate having to leave him to go to school heck i hate leaving him due to his curfew (yes he still has a curfew *sigh*) As far as losing my virginity goes, i know if we have a situation like we did at school in the Alumni house i will feel more than ready, but right now it makes me a little anxious. lol it might help if he makes me unbareably horny too. Well that's all i can think of to talk about for now -Lani
PS Another fun thing i forgot to mention on New Year's we convinced his parents to let him spend the night, nothing to extravagant happened, we of course fooled around, but not a whole lot since it was late and we were both tired, not to mention he and i had fooled around at other points during the day