drip fucking drop
Day: 017,
Uhm. I never promised you art?
I need to buy some film and load up my other camera. Or get a cheap point&shoot. Maybe that'll make me feel better.
I've been trying to write my statement of intent, but despite the fact that I'm pretty sure I come off kind of dickish when it comes to art stuff in general (which, lol, is why I'm never talking about Mr. Vaughn Stump's tumblr, God help me), I'm bad at any sort of explaining when it comes to doing what I do. Or what I want to do. I don't know. And since there's no way to do it without sounding like a pretentious asshat, I'm stalling a little. I don't much like drawing attention to my motivations.
Although, what are they really expecting me to say? I don't particularly have any aspirations to save the world through my photography. I don't really want to teach anyone anything. I don't want to, like, reveal anyone's deep dark urges but my own, and that's pretty private (unless it isn't, but then, whatever). I like pretty things. I like ugly things that pretend to be pretty things (and that would explain all of the selfportraits). I think sexuality is awesome. I think basic human interaction is magical. I also really like being in other people's kitchens, bedrooms and bathrooms.
But really? I just want to take pictures. Of basically anything. It's completely selfish.
And I think that I still sound kind of... I don't know. Something. I'm annoying myself, at any rate. I don't know how to say any of that stuff in a way that isn't either too timid, or too much like saying "fuck this shit, just let me in already." Which, you know, is basically how I feel anyway, even if I plan on not going to school until next year.
*sigh*
It did nothing but rain today, and my brain feels like those last few corn flakes that you don't want to eat because they've been sitting in milk and are all soggy and twice their normal size from absorbing liquid.
But I made a short scarf, and I'm looking up patterns for other things. That's something at least. Tomorrow, I am going to read a book. Be ready for me to talk about Anne Rice's Jesus fanfic.
This entry is a clone of a post on dreamwidth. Comment where you wanna.