(no subject)
It seems that so many people who are dear to me in my life have been negatively affected by substance abuse.If I go to dinner with my father after 7 pm I'm bound to hear the same story 8 times over.Tonight I tried hanging out with my sister--which is always a risky endeavor because we tend to hit heads most of the time...and of course--look what happens...too many beers leads to misunderstanding and unjustified stubbornness.
I feel so ineffective sometimes.It really just hits home to me right now because I realize that a year ago I was in a destructive routine much like this for a while...but it is so risky.It can ruin your life.You can become something you never ever intended to be.You become addicted to something outside of yourself...dependent on escape and alter-ego episodes.Nothing reality based...a bunch of crap flying out of your mouth before you have a second to think about it.My writing tonight is like this but at least it is just writing and not action that I might regret.This is anonymous and I need to get it out.This is the healthiest, most direct way I know how...even if I am hesitant to share personal details with people I haven't seen face to face.
I am so frustrated at this moment.My sister and I could have fought tonight--she wanted to hit me and I wanted to hit her...and all for what.That is my point....for nothing.I wish that people could just handle their emotions by actually dealing with them...by thinking about them and deciding what they need to do to take control of their own lives.It's hard...but the other alternatives just make everything more confusing and then you get caught up in a maze of illusion.
I feel so ineffective sometimes.It really just hits home to me right now because I realize that a year ago I was in a destructive routine much like this for a while...but it is so risky.It can ruin your life.You can become something you never ever intended to be.You become addicted to something outside of yourself...dependent on escape and alter-ego episodes.Nothing reality based...a bunch of crap flying out of your mouth before you have a second to think about it.My writing tonight is like this but at least it is just writing and not action that I might regret.This is anonymous and I need to get it out.This is the healthiest, most direct way I know how...even if I am hesitant to share personal details with people I haven't seen face to face.
I am so frustrated at this moment.My sister and I could have fought tonight--she wanted to hit me and I wanted to hit her...and all for what.That is my point....for nothing.I wish that people could just handle their emotions by actually dealing with them...by thinking about them and deciding what they need to do to take control of their own lives.It's hard...but the other alternatives just make everything more confusing and then you get caught up in a maze of illusion.