(no subject)
It's been a while. Having some time to myself tonight...which is surprisingly blissful.Been meeting lots of new folks lately thru this local Irish Pub.It's been good but challenging socially for me.I have difficulty meeting new people...it makes me anxious at times.Tonight I started back on Zoloft again...I took a year hiatus from it and still have samples left over.Lately my emotions have been so topsy turvy and I'm pretty sick of it.I am taking action, even if it means taking medication(which I hate to do).But I'm tired of being stubborn with this thing...it's not going to go away unless I actively engage it in this way...and also thru challenging myself personally and socially to just buck up.
Got the new John Mayer and Radiohead.Very nice.John is soothing as always and lyrically right on with me.Hail to the Thief is awefully melancholy(a little too much so for my state of mind right now)...but the music is just so gorgeous I can't help myself.And Thom Yorke's voice is just hypnotizing.He can sing me his dark lullabies all night long and I won't tire of it.
Can't wait for Halloween.My favorite holiday of the year it is.I think I'm gonna be Krishna this year and paint myself blue and be bejeweled and besaried and bedazzled.Definitely gonna take the digital camera out for the show...there will be lots of great costumes I'm sure...and gruesome faces accompanying them:)
Actually cleaned house tonight.My house had become like my mind right now....a cluttered mess--and that can only be indulged for so long.So out I went to Walgreens on a mission for Clorox and sponges and other miscellanous cleaning products.The theory is that maybe if I clean out my home, the mind will follow.
I could say that I am in a decent mood tonight.The new job is treating me well.I feel like a stranger in my own life in a way--actually developing a career of sorts.It's a bizarre thing to feel yourself moving into a "grownup" life when you still feel like you're fifteen.But the people I work with are really pretty playful most of the time...which is nice--they know when to be serious...and when to blow off some steam:)
The goal for now is to be a little easier and a little more patient with myself right now.Perhaps things will eventually fall into place if I just stop looking ahead of myself.
Been having a good run of difficulty in the relationship department lately.I really need to just ask for what I want and learn to let go and be myself.I need more time to myself and more groundedness.Working on it.
"When you're coasting along, and nobody's trying too hard...you can turn around and like where you are."-Sundays-
Got the new John Mayer and Radiohead.Very nice.John is soothing as always and lyrically right on with me.Hail to the Thief is awefully melancholy(a little too much so for my state of mind right now)...but the music is just so gorgeous I can't help myself.And Thom Yorke's voice is just hypnotizing.He can sing me his dark lullabies all night long and I won't tire of it.
Can't wait for Halloween.My favorite holiday of the year it is.I think I'm gonna be Krishna this year and paint myself blue and be bejeweled and besaried and bedazzled.Definitely gonna take the digital camera out for the show...there will be lots of great costumes I'm sure...and gruesome faces accompanying them:)
Actually cleaned house tonight.My house had become like my mind right now....a cluttered mess--and that can only be indulged for so long.So out I went to Walgreens on a mission for Clorox and sponges and other miscellanous cleaning products.The theory is that maybe if I clean out my home, the mind will follow.
I could say that I am in a decent mood tonight.The new job is treating me well.I feel like a stranger in my own life in a way--actually developing a career of sorts.It's a bizarre thing to feel yourself moving into a "grownup" life when you still feel like you're fifteen.But the people I work with are really pretty playful most of the time...which is nice--they know when to be serious...and when to blow off some steam:)
The goal for now is to be a little easier and a little more patient with myself right now.Perhaps things will eventually fall into place if I just stop looking ahead of myself.
Been having a good run of difficulty in the relationship department lately.I really need to just ask for what I want and learn to let go and be myself.I need more time to myself and more groundedness.Working on it.
"When you're coasting along, and nobody's trying too hard...you can turn around and like where you are."-Sundays-