ditto.

[langie]

im so happy.. things are better than i thought.. cept moneywise. im doing ok with money.. not like i have enough to go shopping for myself. >.< god friggun damnit. but anyway.. me and my mum went to eat lunch together. we were talking.. and laughing. im so happy that i wanna cry.. but ive gotta hold it in. i actually got so drunk yesterday that i broke down.. i met up with josh afterwards.. i was so drunk.. i ended up telling him.. 'thanks for always being here for me' [dude it was in the middle of the night, he kept calling on me to check up on me and even going out to see me and take care of me.. and cheer me up.. then taking me home although he had work the next day!] so i said 'i think im beginning to like you.' HE WAS LIKE "beginning to??" hahahahaaha and i didnt know what he meant, i go "beginning to is good enough man" hahahahaa.. then he was like... "oh ok" i was bit upset thinking that he didnt like me.. i said "you dont like me right? im just a lil girl to you arent i?" he goes "i like you very much lang.. i hardly know you.. but i really wanna be there for you AND I WANT MY DAMN HUG" hahaahahahahahaahahaha hes so cute. cos the other day, he was drunk && sick.. and i was talking to him right? and he goes "can you gimme a hug?" HAHAHAAHAH and i said "NO!" hahahahaaha.. oh.. im at home atm.. like home home. it feels so good to be home.. never knew how beautiful this place was.. maybe ill stop rambling on about this, its making me teary..

i want to make enough money to do things for myself. buy things for family.. make them happy and make them proud of me. i just want to find my own happiness.. i dunno how long it will take.. but .. knowing that at the moment.. im not rushing into any r/ships.. and knowing that ive set my priorities straight.. im happy.. i just feel lonely at times.. but i have josh right? in a way.. hes there for me. well one could only hope that the best will come.

i shall go now..

bye !!