so much for being happy..

[laney7147]

since i have been home, my good mood has faded. it has been 2 weeks since i got home and it feels like a lifetime. it has seriously been the longest two weeks ever. im so sad, i miss being with shaun so much.. i would give anything for things to go back to how they were... who knows.. maybe this isnt permanent.. maybe its just for a little while. i hope. maybe once he figures things out he will want to be with me again. i love him so much and lately i just cant think of anything else. i just dont want to lose him. i have been trying to keep busy but it doesnt do any good. in chicago, all i thought about was him. why!?!?! i dont know. but i am going to great america with brian on friday so that should be fun. maybe the rollercoasters will erase everything from my mind.. one can only hope.

i just want to fast forward to when everything is ok because right now i feel like it will never be ok. i have never been heartbroken, and i would never wish this feeling upon anyone. i am going to greece again in june. i bough the rosetta stone so i can learn to not only understand greek but also be able to speak it. its pretty sweet.

i am going to sleep because it is late and i like sleeping. good night.