(Untitled)

[chosenpotential]

So that was that. Fred worked her magick, used her scientific gadgets and put the lost memories back in my head. At first it was kinda fuzzy, then it was like a damn bursting and flooding my mind with everything I'd lost. It was overwhelming. It was headache inducing. I refrained from grabbing my head as the pain continued to mount. Was this a part

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[marissadonnelly]

There was a bit of raised voices coming from the kitchen. I glanced over but didn't feel like joining all the anger. I had too much of people yelling at me before I came here, didn't really want to walk into it when it had nothing to do with me. I went back to staring at the empty fireplace. I wondered if we should actually look for some wood. I was thinking about it for a while when I heard the door close behind me. I leaned over the arm of the chair to see that Kennedy had left the kitchen too. She must have needed some air.

I didn't know what to do. Do I go out there? Should I talk to her? I brought my feet onto the floor and leaned further trying to see if I could see her. I almost feel onto the floor, I figured it was now or never. I couldn't really keep ignoring her. I also couldn't really wait anymore. I had all these feelings, and I didn't want to let them make me ill. If she didn't feel the same way anymore? I would be fine. I hoped I would be fine.

I got up and walked towards the door. It took me three tries to actually open the door and walk through it. Once outside I looked around a bit, until I saw her down the walkway sitting on the steps leading to the beach. Only a few days ago I had followed her out this way. We had plans to spend time on the beach. Now? Who knew.

I walked over to her and sat beside her. It was the first time I had been close to her, since she had her memories taken. I didn't know what to say. She was holding her head. I hadn't even thought that whatever just happened would have hurt her.

"You okay? I mean.. well no.. but is there something I can do?"

[chosenpotential]

I sat there, holding my head, just trying to center myself. To make some sense of all this jumbled mess that Fred had just shoved back into my head. I could hear the waves crashing far off in the distance and it was soothing. Being outside, in the quiet, without all the stress and frustration and being away from 2 versions of your girlfriend from your own dimension? Priceless.

Willow.

I sighed again. Okay, I wasn't supposed to be thinking about her. I was supposed to be focusing on these memories that my headache seemed to be blocking still. But, it's hard not to think about Willow. Not only is she my girlfriend in the other world, but 2 versions of her here. One previously in a bikini and now one wearing tight leather. You'd be distracted too.

Anyway.

So, I started rubbing my temples, in attempt to ease some of this pressure. My eyes closed tight, I didn't see anyone walk up, but I heard the footsteps and felt them sit beside me.

"You okay? I mean.. well no.. but is there something I can do?"

Marissa.

I raised my head quickly, my eyes meeting her concerned ones. I recoiled as the pain sharpened, jolting through my head suddenly. Closing my eyes tightly, I groaned, grasping my head.

"Oh God..."

As I opened up my eyes, Marissa was still there, looking more concerned than ever. That's when it hit me. Like a flood gate opened. Every moment we'd shared playing out in my mind like a movie on fast forward. I could feel every kiss. Every touch. Hear every moan of pleasure. Every whisper of feeling.

The emotions were overwhelming.

I wrinkled my brow, confused and fighting back tears as I kept my eyes locked on hers.

"I'm...sorry Marissa."

My voice was barely a whisper as I tried to process everything that had just found it's place back in my brain. All those memories. How she must've felt when I didn't remember.

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head, bringing my arms up to wrap them around my shins and holding my knees close to my chest and resting my head upon them. I didn't know what else to say. I just didn't want to cry here. I wasn't going to let myself.

This was so overwhelming.

The Picasso reject definitely had it in for me. I didn't see anyone else being messed with like this.

[marissadonnelly]

She looked up at me and I could see her searching for some sort of answer, then she blinked. I didn't know what was happening, but I was worried. My brow furrowed as her eyes darted. They were erratic like she was at a club trying to avoid the strobes. My heart was racing, I wanted to reach out to her. To kiss her. I didn't even know what she was going through, but I wanted to help her. I wanted her to feel that no matter what it was, no matter what she was feeling or not feeling that I was going to be okay.

Her expression changed, her brow furrowed and I could see the pain in her eyes. She just kept looking at me, I didn't want to look away. I couldn't drop her gaze. If this was going to be the last time I looked at her, I didn't want it to end.

"I'm...sorry Marissa."

The look on my face softened. It was still full of concern, but it was different.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her stare off of me and turned towards the beach. She curled up into a ball on the steps beside me. Her head lay atop her knees and I knew she was being brave. I moved a bit closer to her, and put my arm around her. I didn't want to force it, I didn't want to pressure her, or make her feel uneasy. I just wanted her to feel safe.

"Kennedy, don't be sorry. If anything I should be sorry. I made this so important. I just want you to be okay. No matter what Kennedy, I want you to be happy. Right now, I am worried, but I know you are strong. I know you are going to be okay. It is just hard. That demon isn't making any of this easy. Not for any of us. I mean you saw that other Fred right?"

I tried to lighten the mood a bit, I knew that it was a tense time, and maybe humor would help her a bit. Help her realize that I wasn't going to push it.

[chosenpotential]

She put her arm around me and I flinched. I didn't mean to, but I felt vulnerable right now.

And lost. So completely lost. Which technically I was. On this island. Never going home.

I didn't want her seeing me like this.

Or anybody for that matter.

"Kennedy, don't be sorry. If anything I should be sorry. I made this so important. I just want you to be okay. No matter what Kennedy, I want you to be happy. Right now, I am worried, but I know you are strong. I know you are going to be okay. It is just hard. That demon isn't making any of this easy. Not for any of us. I mean you saw that other Fred right?"

I sighed, lifting my head up, staring out across the island.

"Nobody needs to be sorry. Well, unless you count that demon who stuck us all here to begin with. And she's gonna be sorry. I can guarantee that. She will pay for everything she's done to me." I was getting angry and clenching my jaw so hard I was certain my headache was going to come back. "To everyone here."

I pushed myself up to my feet, feeling her arm fall away from my shoulders as I stood. Dusting my pants off, I looked down at her. My eyes were full of anger. Mostly to hide my fear. My hurt. My sadness.

It was me. Trying to be brave. To be the strong one.

Never let them see you weak. Never.

"It is hard. But that's still no excuse for all of this. There's 2 Fred's, 2 Willow's...." I shook my head, still trying to wrap my mind around all of this. "I mean, does that mean there's gonna be 2 of me or 2 of you pretty soon? I just don't get it. What the hell are we supposed to do?"

I was pacing by now and I looked down at her. She looked frightened. Was she afraid of me? I was being pretty scary right now.

I sat back down beside her.

"Okay, totally going off the deep end here. But hey, in my defense? I kinda got all my memories sucked out and then shoved back in. It's enough to make anyone crazy."

I smirked, winking and nudging her with my shoulder.

"I kinda missed having my memories. But it was interesting getting them all back like that. Just one big rush of everything. In widescreen stereovision."

[marissadonnelly]

I heard her sigh, it was so hard for her. I couldn't even imagine it. I wanted to know how she felt. What it was like, but I was positive that there were no words to explain. Words were something I needed to hear, but I wasn't sure which ones would help.

"Nobody needs to be sorry. Well, unless you count that demon who stuck us all here to begin with. And she's gonna be sorry. I can guarantee that. She will pay for everything she's done to me. To everyone here."

She was stressed. There was no doubt about it, and it was completely understandable. I would be stressed too. In fact I was sort of stressed, but not in the "I Am Going To Make that Demon Pay" sort of way. More like the whole Demons are real and I am stuck here sort of way. I was wrapping my mind around it, I just didn't realize how many corners there were.

She stood up and was trying to sort it all out. Her brow was doing that cute little thinking furrow and yet her eyes were filled with all of this rage. I didn't understand it. She wasn't missing her memories, were they so bad? Was she better off without them?

She glanced to me and must have seen the worry on my own face. I didn't mean to let it show, but it was there. Same as her own fears and hurt. She sat back down which put me at ease again. I just liked her being near me.

"Okay, totally going off the deep end here. But hey, in my defense? I kinda got all my memories sucked out and then shoved back in. It's enough to make anyone crazy."

I nodded and folded my hands up under my chin supporting my head and trying to figure out how I could help her with all of this. Was this a supporting thing.. or a time on her own thing?

I turned my head to glance and her my head staying planted on my knuckles. She smirked at me, and I swear I couldn't have hidden my smile if I tried. She was trying to work through this. She winked and shifted a bit to bump into my shoulder. It was a non-chalant move that I missed. The general flirtiness of our behaviour.

"I kinda missed having my memories. But it was interesting getting them all back like that. Just one big rush of everything. In widescreen stereovision."

I blushed and hid my face trying not to laugh from embarrassment. I shouldn't have been embarrassed but it felt like the first time you hear that your Ex taped the two of you and had watched it the night before you came to pick up your stuff. There is no way to react to that. I pushed my hands across my face shoving strands of hair away and getting some much needed air. Did it just get really hot in here? I put my hands on the sides of my face trying to use the coolness of my hands to bring my temperature down a bit.

"Oh my gosh. That isn't what I expected would happen, although.." I peeked at her through my hands, "I am not really sure what was going to happen. It looked kind of scary. That Fred girl is pretty smart and all, but all of this is just so crazy. I feel like I am in an episode of The X-Files." I smiled and put my hands in my lap. "Of course not one with any slime monsters or aliens. Unless... " I start to feel all over my head trying to find some imaginary bump.. like an implant or something... "Nope. No implants."

I let out a sigh and sort of laughed. I would have said that I was being silly, but here I was sitting on the steps to a mystical resort on a desert island with a girl that just got her memories back by electro-shock, and was just in a room with two sets of twins, that weren't twins so much as the same person. So anything was possible.

Although now I was thinking about what she said again. The wink.. the smirk the mention of the blush inducing memories. I had to ask.

"So.. when you were getting that exclusive showing of These Were Your Memories Kennedy, anything.. particular.. I don't know.. stand out??"

Maybe it was asking a bit much, but the curiousity was killing me.

[chosenpotential]

I couldn't help grinning as she covered her face and blushed. We'd had some pretty intense moments. Not really sure how I could've forgotten those. Let's just say that must've been one hell of a spell.

"Oh my gosh. That isn't what I expected would happen, although..I am not really sure what was going to happen. It looked kind of scary. That Fred girl is pretty smart and all, but all of this is just so crazy. I feel like I am in an episode of The X-Files. Of course not one with any slime monsters or aliens. Unless...Nope. No implants."

I laughed as she started feeling her head for implants. It must be pretty strange to her, considering she never even knew this type of stuff existed until she got dropped here.

"It's okay Marissa." I smiled, pulling her hands away from her face. "I'm fine. A little bit of a lingering headache from the rush of memories flooding my brain but other than that?" I shrugged, nodding a little. "I'm okay."

Letting her hands go, I looked out at the island that had become our home. Not that I wanted to admit that, but right now, anything was possible and I wasn't holding my breath for a rescue.

"So.. when you were getting that exclusive showing of These Were Your Memories Kennedy, anything.. particular.. I don't know.. stand out??"

Oh. Talk about not expecting such a question. But in all fairness, I guess she had a right to ask.

I took a breath, looking at her with a smirk.

So many memories. Which one to pick?

"You expect me to single one out? I mean, they were all pretty intense don't ya think?"

There. I put it back on her. It wasn't that I didn't want to reflect on our time together. But I just got it all back. I needed time to acclimate I guess.

[marissadonnelly]

I wasn't really sure what to expect. I mean I wasn't the one with the memory overload, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. I wasn't even sure if it worked like that at all. I mean what if they all were one big glob of a memory. Now that would have been interesting though. Blob-o memories, all smooshed together like one big orgasm. Now that? I would have paid to see.

She must have been thrown for a bit with my question, but her smirk returned to her smile and I knew I was asking for it.

"You expect me to single one out? I mean, they were all pretty intense don't ya think?"

I hid my face again, trying to stifle my laughter. She had me pegged in a heartbeat. Talk about turning the tables on me, of course I had it coming. I mean I had asked her a pretty loaded question.

"Okay, you got me. Sorry, I just thought maybe there was something that stood out more than something else, and not something like that although, I wouldn't be lying if I wouldn't have been gracious of accepting that sort of compliment, but I mean..." She totally got me on this one, "Oh man.. okay so I did mean that, but still I was just curious! You can't blame me for wondering! I mean I know there are a few things that stood out to me, and I didn't get the whole rerun of it in my brain to bring those to the surface. They are pretty much there... all the time."

I think, no I was pretty sure I was blushing again. I wanted to hide some more, but there really wasn't anywhere to really go. Except inside... which what are they doing? I leaned back a bit to see Anya and Willow setting up candles in a circle.

"Hey... think they are doing a spell or something? Like in The Craft?"