(no subject)
Long time...minus some memes.
I haven't posted in a while, and with good reason. My mind is far too fucked up to have strung together coherent sentences. I'm not myself lately, although who can honestly say who I actually am minus myself...
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I'm at university. I just have nothing here that...holds me. I swear, being at such a liberal school, and such a hippie town as Peterborough has ignited some sort of...inner flame. I find that I can't stand being here anymore, doing the bullshit work. A few of my friends have already dropped out, a few of you will probably graduate soon, and the best mate I've had is heading back to Victoria, BC. My world gets smaller.
Six months ago, all I cared about was being at Trent. Getting into Trent. Going away from my parents. Now that I'm here, that voice has changed into a voice screaming "LEAVE" at the top of it's lungs. To do something different. To get away from this...stalemate of life. It's the Thursday of reading week. Have I done anything? Nay, I've stared at the ceiling alot, caught up on sleep, and dreamt alot. Not exactly the best attitude to have, especially going into a potential second year. I haven't even decided that yet. I don't know if I can afford it, because my parents will not support me. Nor, I think, will OSAP give me enough cash. As much as a degree in something...would be nice, I don't know if I can even do so. I'm lost.
Speaking of degree, I've come to an impasse if I stay. At the beginning of the year, the section of Anthropology we were doing bored me to tears. Whereas this current section (Cultural and Linguistics) makes me naught but smile. I actually enjoy it. As equally as Cultural Studies. Dual-major? Perhaps. Most likely one or the other. As follows.
Anthro Major:
ANTH200- Sociocultural Anthropology
ANTH212- Archaeology
ANTH231- Language, Culture and Society
CUST245- Music and Society
CUST250- Civilisation and Human Nature
MODL202H- Historical Linguistics
PHIL279H- Philosophy of Art
(Six credits. I need to make up one from this year.)
---OR---
CUST216- Introduction to Visual Studies
CUST245- Music and Society
CUST250- Civilisation and Human Nature
CUST260- Making of the Modern Body
ANTH231- Language, Culture and Society
MODL202H- Historical Linguistics
PHIL279H- Philosophy of Art
They seem similar. Several courses are basically confirmed. ANTH231, CUST245, CUST250, MODL202H and PHIL279H). Only thing to change is the major. What think you, LJ-land?
And we found an apartment. It's nice. But I'm getting bad karma vibes off the place. The landlord moves far, far too quickly for us to keep up, and considering I'm the one dealing with all of the dealings and stress, for me to have bad karma vibes isn't good. One housemate tells me not to worry, and the other doesn't care...
Why did I sign up for this? I've never been so stressed out in my life. And it's only first year.
Everyone I've talked to says that when you finally find your focus, your purpose in life, everything else seems so minor. Everything just...flows. Well, I haven't found it yet. I haven't found that thing that gathers my attention (Rob, Dave, you're INTPs, you understand the lack of focus on one thing) for long enough to hold it. I've got interests all over the board, just nothing strong enough to say that that's something I could do for the rest of my life...I think it may have something to do with my impending twentieth birthday (March 11th, it's in 17 days...); I feel like I've not accomplished anything memorable in that time. I've not done...anything. Huzzah for twenty, two decades of useless.
I haven't posted in a while, and with good reason. My mind is far too fucked up to have strung together coherent sentences. I'm not myself lately, although who can honestly say who I actually am minus myself...
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I'm at university. I just have nothing here that...holds me. I swear, being at such a liberal school, and such a hippie town as Peterborough has ignited some sort of...inner flame. I find that I can't stand being here anymore, doing the bullshit work. A few of my friends have already dropped out, a few of you will probably graduate soon, and the best mate I've had is heading back to Victoria, BC. My world gets smaller.
Six months ago, all I cared about was being at Trent. Getting into Trent. Going away from my parents. Now that I'm here, that voice has changed into a voice screaming "LEAVE" at the top of it's lungs. To do something different. To get away from this...stalemate of life. It's the Thursday of reading week. Have I done anything? Nay, I've stared at the ceiling alot, caught up on sleep, and dreamt alot. Not exactly the best attitude to have, especially going into a potential second year. I haven't even decided that yet. I don't know if I can afford it, because my parents will not support me. Nor, I think, will OSAP give me enough cash. As much as a degree in something...would be nice, I don't know if I can even do so. I'm lost.
Speaking of degree, I've come to an impasse if I stay. At the beginning of the year, the section of Anthropology we were doing bored me to tears. Whereas this current section (Cultural and Linguistics) makes me naught but smile. I actually enjoy it. As equally as Cultural Studies. Dual-major? Perhaps. Most likely one or the other. As follows.
Anthro Major:
ANTH200- Sociocultural Anthropology
ANTH212- Archaeology
ANTH231- Language, Culture and Society
CUST245- Music and Society
CUST250- Civilisation and Human Nature
MODL202H- Historical Linguistics
PHIL279H- Philosophy of Art
(Six credits. I need to make up one from this year.)
---OR---
CUST216- Introduction to Visual Studies
CUST245- Music and Society
CUST250- Civilisation and Human Nature
CUST260- Making of the Modern Body
ANTH231- Language, Culture and Society
MODL202H- Historical Linguistics
PHIL279H- Philosophy of Art
They seem similar. Several courses are basically confirmed. ANTH231, CUST245, CUST250, MODL202H and PHIL279H). Only thing to change is the major. What think you, LJ-land?
And we found an apartment. It's nice. But I'm getting bad karma vibes off the place. The landlord moves far, far too quickly for us to keep up, and considering I'm the one dealing with all of the dealings and stress, for me to have bad karma vibes isn't good. One housemate tells me not to worry, and the other doesn't care...
Why did I sign up for this? I've never been so stressed out in my life. And it's only first year.
Everyone I've talked to says that when you finally find your focus, your purpose in life, everything else seems so minor. Everything just...flows. Well, I haven't found it yet. I haven't found that thing that gathers my attention (Rob, Dave, you're INTPs, you understand the lack of focus on one thing) for long enough to hold it. I've got interests all over the board, just nothing strong enough to say that that's something I could do for the rest of my life...I think it may have something to do with my impending twentieth birthday (March 11th, it's in 17 days...); I feel like I've not accomplished anything memorable in that time. I've not done...anything. Huzzah for twenty, two decades of useless.